Archive for September 17th, 2008

September 17, 2008

Video: Plouffe’s strategy update

The Hyping of Hope continues:

Politics as multi-tiered marketing. Success as a non-falsifiable theory. No matter what happens, every event is more evidence to justify the belief of the True Believer, because belief is necessary to … excuse me, what is the real objective here?

“We’re winning — send more money! McCain is attacking — send more money! We’ve registered X-number of new Democrats — send more money!”

Need I point out that David Plouffe is a professional political operative, and that fund-raising ability is a primary qualification in his chosen career field? See, whether Obama wins or loses, Plouffe will still walk away with the career credential of being a world-class fund-raiser.

You know, I was taught that a journalist was first and foremost a skeptic. Why is the political press corps nowadays packed full of credulous suckers?

September 17, 2008

The NY Times smears me

While it’s always an honor to get linked in the Opinionator blog, they’ll have to correct the record after this item about Mme. Rothschild’s endorsement of the Republican ticket:

Conservative blogger Robert Stacy McCain isn’t sure whether his candidate should welcome his new supporter . . .

My candidate? Crazy Cousin John? Oh, no.

My candidate is Bob Barr, and not entirely because he promised to appoint me ambassador to Costa Rica.

See, I was there at the conception of the Barr juggernaut. It was about 11:30 p.m., Friday, Feb. 8. The day before, Mitt Romney quit. Then Jesse the hotel security guard raided our CPAC party, and after that, Ron Paul punked out. The conservative movement was kaput, the Republican Party was screwed, and America was doomed.

That’s when, through the thick clouds of cigar smoke at Shelley’s Backroom Tavern, Stephen Gordon saw a glimmer of hope: DRAFT BARR. I’m saving that twisted story for the book, so I’ll leave it to your sick mind to imagine the arcane Machiavellian maneuvers involved in that operation.

Three days later, I flew to Africa, fully expecting that by the time I got back stateside, the mighty Clinton slime machine would have pulverized Obama into a greasy residue of Hope. So the matchup for November would be John McCain, the least popular Republican since Tom Dewey, versus Hillary Clinton, whose favorable ratings are slightly lower than Squeaky Fromme’s. A perfect opportunity for the Barr insurgency!

Well, Patti Solis Doyle screwed up that scenario so badly not even Rush Limbaugh could fix it. Good-bye, President Barr. Good-bye, Costa Rica.

The only hope now was that one or the other major-party campaigns would collapse in a Mondalean-Dukakoid meltdown. As weak as the GOP brand has become, they’re still good for at least 37 percent in a bad year, which isn’t enough breathing room for the Libertarians to come out on top. But the Democrats

Let’s get real. When you nominate a guy named Hussein, who hangs out with terrorists and spent 20 years in a church where “God D— America” is a popular sermon topic, this isn’t exactly a strong bid for those middle-of-the-road voters in Ohio, is it? After Crazy Cousin John locked up the GOP nomination, I had no doubt the Republicans were actually trying to lose the election, but then the Democrats beat them at their own game.

If you’ve paid close attention to this blog, for a couple of months, I sort of alternated between “Democratic Debacle” and “Republican Disaster” themes, but lately it’s been almost nonstop bungles by Team Obama. And then Maverick picked that hot chick from Alaska as his running mate versus Joe Hairplugs, which pretty much sealed the deal.

On Nov. 4, I’m going to vote for Bob Barr, the only sane choice in this insane election. Unfortunately, a majority of my fellow Maryland residents — motivated by a cruel and perverse desire to prevent me from achieving my destiny as U.S. Ambassador to Costa Rica — will throw their votes away on that minor third-party candidate, Barack Hussein Obama.

By voting for a hopeless third-party spoiler like Obama, these idiots are taking votes away from the Barr-Root ticket, and thus ensuring the election of Crazy Cousin John. Don’t say I didn’t try to warn America about this. And remember, I’m a greedy right-wing capitalist blogger, so don’t be surprised when I become fabulously wealthy selling these:

This product is going to be more popular than Sarah Palin bikini pictures.

September 17, 2008

Beverly Hills Obama

Here’s what you get for $11 million:

September 17, 2008

‘Vetting’?

Oh, for crying out loud, Andrew:

[M]y relentless vetting of Palin, specifically the bizarre facts in the public record about her fifth pregnancy. For my part, I stand by my skepticism of everything Sarah Palin says. To my mind, her constant public lies about almost anything, large and small, and the proximity of this strange, unvetted blank slate of a candidate to the Oval Office render all usual assumptions of good faith on the part of a candidate moot. The refusal of the McCain campaign to allow her to hold a press conference – unprecedented in modern American history – reinforces this skepticism.

Look, I completely agree that the McCain campaign’s refusal to let her do a press conference is blunderheaded in the extreme, and have said so repeatedly. If Hillary could do a press conference the day after her godawful embarrassment in North Carolina, why couldn’t Palin have done a press conference in the immediate aftermath of her selection?

But Team Maverick’s self-defeating media strategery is no excuse to (a) accuse her of “constant lies” or (b) engage in utterly unsubstantiated speculation. That’s not “vetting,” that’s a smear. Politics ain’t beanbag, but why don’t you leave the political smears to the people who are paid to do that sort of work? Why are you volunteering to do their dirty work for them? Or … are you?

After all, if it’s possible to believe that Palin faked a pregnancy to hide the birth of her grandchild, it is certainly within the realm of possibility that the Obama campaign is paying Andrew Sullivan to smear Palin. I mean, since we’re just asking questions, isn’t it only fair to ask why Sully is so incredibly diligent in spreading these bogus smears about Palin? And isn’t it possible that the Obama campaign, which is collecting $66 million a month in contributions, has spent some of that cash to sweeten the pot for Sully?

Is Andrew Sullivan a hired stooge for the Obama campaign? Or is he a Satanic cannibal? (Maybe he’s both, and the Obama campaign is supplying Sully with fresh corpses for his devil-worship rituals.) I’m just asking questions

September 17, 2008

The $11 Million Victim

Obama goes to Hollywood, raises a record $11 million and plays the victim:

“A lot of people have gotten nervous and concerned. Why is this as close as it is? And what’s going on?” Mr. Obama said, speaking to about 300 people over dinner at the Greystone Mansion. “We always knew this was going to be hard — this is a leap for the American people.”

Oh, it’s so hard to get elected when you’re raising $66 million a month and the major media are completely in the tank for you. It’s so hard when you’re on the cover of Time magazine seven times in one year. It’s so hard when Us Weekly is doing such vicious investigative journalism about you.

It’s so hard when you get a sweetheart book deal at age 27. It’s so hard when you’re appointed to the board of a $49 million education reform project at age 34. It’s so hard when the Chicago Tribune goes to court to have your Republican opponent’s divorce records made public, so he’s forced to drop out and you get a free ride into the U.S. Senate.

Maybe those rich Hollywood friends of yours are buying into this victimhood tale, buddy, but I think the ordinary American voter is gagging from the odor of rancid self-pity.

UPDATE: And, as notorious hatemonger Michelle Malkin points out, Obama’s not only a victim, he’s a half-black victim. Why does this make Michelle a notorious hatemonger? Because only liberals like Jack Cafferty are allowed to obsess over Obama’s race:

Shorter Jack Cafferty: “We know you racist crackers won’t vote for a black man, which means it’s time to do our umpteenth special segment pointing out that Obama is, in fact, a black man.”

September 17, 2008

Why communism sucks

No more nude Nepalese dancers:

Hundreds of disco workers protested in Kathmandu on Monday against a government crackdown on “nude dancing” in its bid to improve the deteriorating law and order.
Police have raided scores of discos, nightclubs and dance bars in the past two weeks and detained 1,500 people. . . .
A Maoist-led government which took power in August has already ordered the bars should be closed an hour before midnight, to halt worsening public security in the capital, home to more than two million people.
Bar and disco operators are protesting the move would jeopardize their business and render 80,000 people jobless.

As a freelance journalist, I’m available for assignment if anyone wants to send me to do some in-depth investigative reporting about the Nepalese strip club crisis. Just send me a plane ticket and alert the Pulitzer committee.

September 17, 2008

Daytime TV

My wife put a TV in my office, but it’s only hooked up for basic cable, which means I’ve got no news channels. So right now, Maury Povich is doing his “who’s-your-baby-daddy” shtick, featuring people so jaw-droppingly stupid as to recall the famous words of Oliver Wendell Holmes: “Three generations of imbeciles are enough.”

Seriously, these people are so repulsively scummy, they give trailer trash a bad name. They don’t need counseling, they need to be spayed. And the fact that there is a nationally syndicated show devoted to chronicling their sordid affairs (one would say “scandals,” except they lack the minimal semblance of human dignity necessary to be scandalized) makes me feel like I’m watching the prequel to Idiocracy.

In Ars Poetica, Aristotle stipulated that tragedy always involves the downfall of the noble. Which is to say, only the lives of the great are worth the effort of chronicling for public consumption; there is nothing timeless, nothing civilizing, in tawdry squalor. To sit in front of a TV filling your brain with utter junk — Maury Povitch’s ritualized confrontation between two women engaged in what can only be called competitive whoredom — is to debase yourself.

I’m not a snob, and I’m not worried about offending anyone by writing this, for the simple reason that no literate person could be fan of the Povitch show. If you’re smart enough to read, you’re smart enough to be disgusted by this televised scumfest. It makes Days of Our Lives seem sophisticated by comparison.

September 17, 2008

Martha, why didn’t you call me?

I just turned the TV on and Martha Stewart is doing a show about blogging. We’ve totally jumped the shark, haven’t we?

September 17, 2008

Mme. Rothschild?

Look, I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade here or anything, but when I got the e-mail yesterday from Team Maverick announcing that a prominent Hillary supporter was going to endorse John McCain, I wasn’t really prepared for Madame Rothschild.

This ain’t exactly going to swing the populist vote. And speaking of populists, the Rothschilds figure rather prominently in kook-fringe conspiracy theories. It’s like getting endorsed by the Bavarian Illuminati or the Tri-Lateral Commission. Not going to win you any friends in the tinfoil-hat/shortwave-radio crowd.

On the other hand, maybe the GOP needed to improve its standing with the Glamorous Jet-Setting Wealthy Socialite demographic.

Maverick’s new job-creation plan? Mme. Rothschild hires every unemployed swing voter in Pennsylvania!

UPDATE: Linked by NYT Opinionator, requiring a bit of clarification.

September 17, 2008

Sarah with big ’80s hair

This video of Sarah Palin as an Anchorage TV sportscaster has been out there a while, but I just now watched it at Red State, and just wanted to point out how much I love that early-Meg Ryan big-hair look from the mid-1980s:

Also notice how unselfconscious she is about dropping her “g’s.” Obviously it’s no affectation.

Most of all, this helps explain Sarah’s appeal to the guy vote. It’s not entirely about the hotness. What guy wouldn’t love to be married to a former point guard? You could sit around watching basketball on TV and call it “quality time.”