Archive for March 27th, 2009

March 27, 2009

Paris Hilton explains nightclub brawl: ‘He was so unbelievably rude’

They called the cops to Miami’s Fountainbleu Hotel after a fight involving Paris Hilton’s bodyguard and boyfriend. Paris’s explanation? In two words, “Techno sucks“:

I’ve been getting a lot of calls and emails regarding these subjects I’m about to discuss. First of all, last night at a club my boyfriend and I were assaulted for no reason at all.
The DJ (I don’t even know his name cause he sucks so bad) was playing the worst music ever! I like certain techno music, but this was not even danceable and was frankly giving me a migraine.
I asked one of my friends who runs the hotel if he could change the music and he said. “I’ll lead you up to the DJ booth tell him and he’ll play whatever you want.”
So he walked Doug and I over there. I asked the DJ if he could please play Daft Punk or Bob Sinclair and he rudely snapped at me and was like ‘I only play this kind of music.”
I think he was jealous cause Bob Sinclair is a far better DJ then this guy by about a million times. He was so unbelievably rude and all because I asked to play one good song.
Then out of nowhere his bodyguard (don’t ask me why he has a bodyguard, like he really needs one. Ha) pushed me really hard, that’s when my boyfriend, like my knight in shining armor, stepped in and told the guy to keep his hands off of me. Then all hell broke loose, it was like something out of a fight movie, it was so frightening. . . .

Well, that so totally makes sense, right?

UPDATE: I used to do this all the time, but haven’t done it since December, so . . .

CELEBRITY NEWS UPDATE!
Yes, once again, dear readers, it is time to wade into the shallow world of the glitterati, where everything is fake, except the snark, which is frighteningly real:
March 27, 2009

¿Qué pasa?

“Don’t we do enough for Mexico already? I mean, we allow millions of their citizens to pour over our border, annually, take jobs that ‘Americans won’t do,’ and then send their earnings back home to boost their economy. Now, we have to start fixing their drug problems, too?”

UPDATE: My old Washington Times buddy Audrey Hudson reports:

American truck drivers operating near the U.S.-Mexico border are being warned of increasing violence among warring drug cartels and told to stay on alert against attacks or hijackings.
“Violence amongst Mexican drug cartels in the border states, on both sides of the U.S.-Mexican border, has exponentially increased in the past year,” according to the alert from First Observer, a trucking security program funded by a Homeland Security grant.
“Truck drivers carry a risk as they are involved in operations that might interest these criminals,” the alert said.
The alert cited the efforts of Mexican President Feilpe Calderon to crack down on cross-border smuggling of drugs, which it says has hurt the cartels’ operations.
“With these difficulties, the cartels’ gangs have become more aggressive and dangerous with their tactics,” the alert said. “Violent crimes have surged throughout border cities and the violence that primarily occurred on the Mexican side has begun to spill into the United States.”

Read the reat here.

March 27, 2009

The GIVE Act: ‘Anatomy of a scam’

That’s what Carter Clews of Americans for Limited Government calls the GIVE (Generations Invigorating Volunteers and Education) Act:

[Supporters of the bill] would tell you that all they’re trying to do is help 250,000 wonderful young unemployed volunteers find a way to serve the country. And who could possibly oppose that?
Well, perhaps, the wonderful older employed workers who are going to be forced to foot the bill – beginning at $5 billion for starters and ending at God knows where.

Read the whole thing.

March 27, 2009

Video so good, it’s better than sex

Via Dave C. at Point of a Gun:

March 27, 2009

Your ‘right’ to get nude in nightclubs

I’m sure this is what George Mason had in mind:

A popular Colorado Springs nightclub that was punished by the city’s liquor board with a 10-day suspension of its liquor license after several women exposed their breasts during a rowdy “Girls Gone Wild” filming is appealing the decision.
An attorney representing the owners of 13 Pure, 217 E. Pikes Peak Ave., said women flashing their breasts is protected by the First Amendment.
“It’s our position that it’s constitutionally protected conduct,” Denver-based attorney Mike Gross said Thursday.
But prosecuting attorney Scott Patlin said the nightclub violated local and state laws.

See, this is just like “gay rights.” If I happen to be in a nightclub and the girls start taking off their clothes — which is strictly a hypothetical scenario, you understand — I’m not going to file a complaint with the City Liquor Board. On the other hand, don’t tell me it’s your “right.”

This is another one of those phony liberal “rights” you don’t actually have. Liberals peddle phony “rights” because it’s a way of convincing people they’re being victimized and oppressed by The Man. The intended message here is: “Vote Democrat, or else those evil Republicans will force you to keep your clothes on in a nightclub.”

You’re not stupid enough to believe that, are you? Now, you’re probably wondering: What about the “right” to get nekkid as a jaybird to protest taxes? That’s different. Ever hear of “civil disobedience”?

(H/T: Hot Air, the coolest blog evah.)

UPDATE: I’ve got a few minutes here before a blogger conference call, so why don’t I refer you to my story about Judge Roy Moore and Ex Parte HH. People want to imply that, just because you disagree with someone about their “rights,” it means you don’t like them. Can anyone credibly accuse me of hating hotties? Am I “anti-breast”? You people need to wake up and smell the indoctrination. You’ve been brainwashed and haven’t even been through the “rinse” cycle yet. HTTJYUB.

UPDATE II: Hey, how about a teacher’s “right” to have sex with her teenage student?

UPDATE III: Linked by Doug Mataconis, with whom I have a dialogue in the comments.

UPDATE IV: Dave C. e-mails to say the back-and-forth in the comments reminds him of this joke:

Three married men were talking about their sex lives during coffee. The first man — the newlywed of the bunch — said, “It’s been good. No complaints here. My wife and I have sex three to four times a week.”
The second man — at the seven year mark — gloomily mumbled, “Once or twice a month. If I’m lucky.”
The last man — who has been married the longest — was bouncing off his seat when he said, “Once a year!”
The other two men looked at him in astonishment.
“Why are you so excited then?” one of them asked.
“Because tonight’s the night!”

Yeah. But I’ve dug my grave so deep now, I’m going to stop digging before I get to China.

March 27, 2009

Gay people should stay single

Excuse me, but I saw this headline:

McCain strategist endorses
same-sex marriage

Schmidt urges GOP to be
more welcoming of gays

To which I must obviously reply:

The Other McCain doesn’t
endorse this trendy nonsense
‘But OK with teh ghey,’ says
blogger known for Speedo

Don’t hate me, gay people. I’m an old-fashioned dude. Like 1977 old-fashioned. Back In The Day, gay people had a reputation for being tolerant, open-minded and non-judgmental.

For instance, if a 17-year-old dopehead boy wanted to drink in a bar in midtown Atlanta, he could always bebop his way up to the Sweet Gum Head on Cheshire Bridge Road and if he was kind of cute — that tanned, skinny, long-haired, tight-jeans-and-an-unbuttoned-chambray-shirt-with-puka-shell-necklace kind of cute — nobody would card him at the door. Not only that, but the patrons of such an establishment would be very eager to buy the boy a drink and teach him how to dance the Latin hustle.

Or so I’m told.

What I want to know is, when did you queers — a term I use in that signifying radical postmodern transgressive sense, you understand — stop being cool like that? Because from everything I see, all the intolerence, close-mindedness and judgmentalism nowadays is coming from you.

Yeah, that’s right. It’s like when the Germans went from being famous for beer and lederhosen to being famous for gas chambers and ovens. Ordinary gay people, I get along with fine. But ever since the Reagan administration, everything is about The Movement, isn’t it?

“Gay” is no longer about disco music and sharing some butyl nitrite with a thirsty long-haired teenage dopehead while the Donna Summer thumps out of the sound system. Now, being “gay” is some kind of politicized identity (like being “Aryan”) and the leadership of The Movement — those Faggot Fuehrers and Dyke Dictators who want to tell you what to think — spend all their time teaching people to hate anybody who disagrees with The Movement.

So if The Movement says that same-sex marriage is a “right” (just like the Aryan master race had a “right” to the Danzig Corridor), then anybody who doesn’t salute and start marching is an Evil Homophobic Hate Monger.

I liked it better when you did the Latin hustle. This goosestepping stuff isn’t sexy. And ditch the brown shirts. Faded chambray brings out the blue in my eyes.

Or so I’m told.

BTW, you should think about ditching that crappy Euro/techno music and bringing some Old School.

UPDATE: Linked by Evil Homophobic Hate Monger Dan Collins. (Dan, green and orange? I mean, really.)

UPDATE II: For the sake of perspective, I should point out that I also disagree with the “right” of young hotties to get naked in nightclubs. NTTAWWT.

March 27, 2009

Things You Can’t Safely Do With Mohammed

By Smitty
Hat tip: Anorak
“In Russia they play Jesus Monopoly – Go directly to jail, do no pass go(d)…”


In my Father’s monopoly, there are multitudes of houses and hotels. Shouldst thou already labour under the waters of a mortgage on thy devalued property, even thine only domicile, and thou then landest on mine, then it biteth to be thee. Theology is theology; verily, business is business. And neglect ye not the tip jar, lest thy ungratefulness exceed even mine.
–Not the Gospel of John

March 27, 2009

‘The Silver-Spoon Snobs’

If you ever wanted to read an inspiring rebuttal to the anti-Palin elitists . . . .

March 27, 2009

JournoList: ‘People with the skill’

Nice to know that Matthew Yglesia, who has argued that “what the right lacks are people with the skill to do the job” of news reporting, has nothing better to do than to respond to a JournoList thread like this:

From: Matthew Yglesias Date: Tue, 24 Mar 2009 14:00:31 -0400 Local: Tues, Mar 24 2009 2:00 pm Subject: Re: [JournoList] BREAKING: Marty Peretz is a Crazy-Ass Racist . . .

The subject of discussion there is a Marty Peretz item from The New Republic about narco-terrorism and governmental dysfunction in Mexico. Ergo, unless you avert your eyes to the rapidly deteriorating situation in Mexico and pretend that Ciudad Juarez is like Disney World (except happier), you are a “Crazy-Ass Racist” like the venerable liberal publisher of TNR. The other major “revelation” about JournoList is described by Jeff Goldstein:

Think “Woodward and Bernstein bring down Nixon,” only replace “Woodward and Bernstein bring down Nixon” with “A bunch of guys who were beaten up daily in junior high show why they almost certainly had it coming.”

(Hat-tip: Jimmie Bise Jr. at Sundries Shack.) Indeed, a “plague of neurasthenia.” At almost the exact same hour that Yglesias was on JournoList discussing the “news” about Marty “I Hate Beaners” Peretz, a real journalist, Dave Weigel, was breaking a scoop. (“Scoops” — what a concept!)

March 27, 2009

Joe The Plumber Can Be More Than A Gimmick

By Smitty
Monique gets in a bit of hammer time on Joe, having met him at CPAC:

I wasn’t impressed. I mean, what is this guy famous for, asking a question? That’s retarded. I think his fifteen minutes of fame should have ended a while, ago. I’m not trying to be mean, And, it’s nothing personal. But, come on now. Is Pawlenty going to tap him next to be the poster-child for these “Sam’s Club Republicans” he keeps talking about?
Joe the Plumber is a gimmick. The people see through that. If you really want to campaign against this bill why don’t you find a spokesperson who would actually be harmed by it? Stop reinforcing the idea that all Republicans are rich elitists that can’t communicate with the “common man.”

I met him, too, and got a signed copy of his book. It’s worth mentioning that he went to Gaza as a correspondent, and had done some other spots you can catch over on PJTV. We should all continue to read, think, and take action to improve the country. It looks like he’s striving to go beyond “one trick pony.” Just because he’ll never make it as a Jello wrestler is no reason to hand out a beat-down.