Archive for March 29th, 2009

March 29, 2009

Speedo Tea Parties? (A15 Minus 16)

Yesterday, Carol at No Sheeples Here e-mailed to say that she felt a bit uncomfortable participating in Rule 5 Sunday, but after careful examination of the Official Guidelines, she managed to find a suitably newsworthy angle in the attempt by the city government in Cape Coral, Fla., to shut down a Tea Party protest. And she supplied the appropriately sexy artwork:

That is the spirit, people! You will always do your best work if you do what you love, and love what you do. To quote my personal hero, Eric “Otter” Stratton, from one of my favorite movies:

Boon: I gotta work on my game.
Otter: No, no, no, don’t think of it as work. The whole point is just to enjoy yourself.

Conservatives must rid themselves of the Dean Vernon Wormer mindset (“No more fun of any kind!”) and instead try to put the “party” back into the Republican Party. Stop trying to be the uptight, respectable Omegas. Let’s bring a hell-raising, fun-loving Delta House mentality to the task at hand:

Bluto: What the fuck happened to the Delta I used to know? Where’s the spirit? Where’s the guts, huh? This could be the greatest night of our lives, but you’re gonna let it be the worst. “Ooh, we’re afraid to go with you Bluto, we might get in trouble.” Well just kiss my ass from now on! Not me! I’m not gonna take this. Wormer, he’s a dead man! Marmalard, dead! Niedermeyer…
Otter: Dead! Bluto’s right. Psychotic, but absolutely right. We gotta take these bastards. Now, we could do it with conventional weapons, but that could take years and cost millions of lives. No, I think we have to go all out. I think that this situation absolutely requires a really futile and stupid gesture be done on somebody’s part.
Bluto: And we’re just the guys to do it.

“Where’s the guts, huh?” And where’s the creative, fun-loving Spirit of ’94, when the American people rose up to smack the Clinton administration with a congressional mid-term election repudiation that changed history?

Amongst the Beltway GOP insiders, the current buzzword is about the need to “rebrand” the Republican Party. We know full well that if they had their way, the Establishment elite — the Crapweasel Coalition of whiny neurasthenic RINOs — would “rebrand” conservatism as a moderate, respectable, “center-right” Me-Tooism.

Fuck the elite, and fuck their ideas. We’re the right-wing “Animal House,” and this is homecoming at Faber.

Ordinary Americans need to think about the nationwide April 15 Tax Day Tea Party protests as a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity for the grassroots to do their own “rebranding.” Thanks to Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, conservatives have been handed a chance to demonstrate our solidarity on one of the few issues on which we all agree: Economic liberty, as opposed to the neo-Keynesian, central-planning agenda of Obamanomics. (It Won’t Work.)

Let’s unite now, people! Put away your differences on foreign policy and social issues. Forget about Iraq and the Bush administration. If we can’t all come together in opposition against Obamanomics, not only is the conservative movement doomed, but the cause of freedom is doomed. We don’t know whether this particular Road to Serfdom is going to lead us to Carteresque stagflation, to the hyperinflation and shortages of Mugabe’s Zimbabwe, or to the “Killing Fields” of Pol Pot’s Cambodia. We just know it’s the wrong road, and it’s time to tell Washington we’re not going to march it.

“But what about the media? The media are ignoring the Tea Party protests, Bluto!” Fuck the media, too. You pathetic losers can sit around whining about the lack of national MSM coverage all you want, but on April 15, we’re going to have a nationwide protest so huge, even those biased assholes won’t be able to ignore it. Stop whining, and start organizing:

  • Find the location of the Tea Party protest nearest you;
  • Make a list of all your neighbors, friends and family members who might share your opposition to Obamanomics;
  • Call them, e-mail them, Facebook them, talk to them in person at work or school or church, and urge them to attend the April 15 protest with you;
  • Check off the names on your list as “yes,” “no,” or “maybe”;
  • Follow up with the “yes” people on your list to plan your attendance, arrange transportation, come up with ideas for clever posters, etc; and
  • Follow up with the “maybe” people on your list to try to turn them into “yes” people; one way to do this is to apply positive peer pressure: “Man, you gotta be there! [Name a popular common friend] is going to be there, and afterwards, we’re all going for beer and pizza! C’mon, it will be lots of fun!”

Be an organizer, not a whiner. Never sit around whining and waiting for other people to do something, when you can do it yourself. Look at Suzanna Logan: Instead of whining about a lack of media coverage for the protests, she’s announced her willingness to strip jaybird naked at the big Virginia protest in Richmond. (We’re still trying to schedule the girl-on-girl Jello wrestling, depending on the availability of the lesbian referee.) You can “Go Galt” or “Go Godiva,” but either way, dammit: GO!

OK, so maybe you don’t look so hot in your birthday suit (or in a Speedo). Maybe you’re not as sexy as Jason “Big Sexy” Mattera. Stop thinking about “can’t.” As my late father used to say, “Can’t never could.”

Come up with something innovative, something personal and authentic you can contribute to the Tea Party movement. Bring your Boy Scout troop or your Little League team. Wear a costume. If you’re a nurse or doctor or fireman, show up in uniform. Ride a horse, ride a Harley, drive your semi-rig or your farm tractor to the protest.

“Oh, Bluto, there’s no point protesting! Congress doesn’t care about a bunch of people at a protest!” Fuck you, whiners. The commissars of the Soviet Union didn’t care about a bunch of Estonians singing tradtional songs, either. But I want you to watch this video trailer for The Singing Revolution, if you doubt the ability of ordinary people to accomplish extraordinary things:

If that doesn’t inspire you, how about this: Michelle Malkin. Why is Michelle Malkin inspiring? Because she doesn’t worry about what she can’t do, she just does all she can. She was already a syndicated newspaper columnist and author when she started her blog waaay back when. And that wasn’t enough, so she started Hot Air, too. She isn’t content to be a “pundit” or a “commentator” or an “intellectual.” No, she’s a one-woman New Media empire, an ideological entrepreneur, and she’s pushing the Tea Party movement with all she’s got.

“But Bluto, I’m not a famous Fox News personality! I don’t even have a blog! What can I do?” You can do something, you sons of bitches, and don’t tell me what you can’t do until you’ve done everything you can.

“America loves a winner. America will not tolerate a loser. Americans despise a coward. Americans play to win.”
Gen. George S. Patton

The difference between success and failure, between defeat and victory, between a winner and a loser is this: A winner does everything he can do, and then says to himself, “I haven’t done enough. I need to do more.” He makes victory his goal and, by relentless effort, he makes victory his habit. He goes all-out, he gives it 110 percent, and even if his team doesn’t win, at least he knows he’s done his best.

“One of the basic principles of military strategy is to reinforce success. If you see a man who fights and wins, give him reinforcements, and bid others to emulate his success.”

A winner emulates success, a winner exemplifies success, and a winner encourages success. A winner is not a whiner. A winner does not envy or derogate the success of others. He does not demoralize others by a defeatist attitude. He does not take counsel of his fears. He is not a crapweasel. He gives his comrades faith for the fight.


Now hit the tip jar, you ungrateful bastards!

UPDATE: “What are you so afraid of? Are you going to be killed because you speak out against Obama? . . . The time for action is now.”

UPDATE II: Kathy Shaidle looks hot in a toga!

UPDATE III: Point of a Gun thinks this is a good direction!

UPDATE IV:A halftime speech that Knute Rockne would’ve cribbed.” — Troglopundit

UPDATE V:A Call to Arms” — Pundit & Pundette

UPDATE VI:I am pretty sure he just convinced me to ride my motorcycle to my local Tea Party. You won’t however see me in a speedo.” — Seymour Nuts
(No jokes about the name of his blog. None. You hear me?)

UPDATE VII:Still ‘Kinda Thinking’ About 4/15’s Tea Party? Stop your self-fumbling and GO!” — Dad 29

UPDATE VIII: A Pep Talk from R. Stacy McCain” — Little Miss Attila

UPDATE IX:In this time of darkness, Stacy reminds us of the immortal words of Otter.” — Dan Collins
(“Immortal words”? But you can’t hold a whole blog responsible for the behavior of a few sick, twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn’t we blame the entire blogospheric system? And if the whole blogosphere is guilty . . .)

March 29, 2009

The Death of the Nude Eel

by Smitty (props: Instapundit)

The Times pours forth sympathy for Gordy B.:

GORDON BROWN’S carefully laid plans for a G20 deal on worldwide tax cuts have been scuppered by an eve-of-summit ambush by European leaders.
Angela Merkel, the German chancellor, last night led the assault on the prime minister’s “global new deal” for a $2 trillion-plus fiscal stimulus to end the recession.

The same pack of clowns running the show swear (on your next paycheck) that they know how to un-frobnicate the situation. Glad that Angel Merkel, unlike our POTUS, seems to have a pair. More leaders like her, or, even gutsier, Daniel Hannan, please. Daniel’s brilliant Brown bludgeoning bears repeated view and study.

Update: (via Drudge)
Brown’s 1.4 trillion pound leak. I think, in British English, this is called “taking the piss”.

This post’s ridiculous title brought to you by Power Line.

March 29, 2009

Dustbury Rolls Out The Hits

After a roundup of the Tea Party/Godiva situation, Dustbury recalls a 1966 cut by Peter and Gordon on the famous lady, which we have the technology to embed for you:

March 29, 2009

‘There are chicks just right for some kissin’ . . .’

Pundette’s got video of sexy Ann Margaret, and all you’ve got to do is click on the picture:

Rule 5 Sunday just won’t stop!

March 29, 2009

Let’s play ‘You’re the Editor’!

This sentence from a Washington Post story Saturday is 52 words long:

Officials said the death toll could rise to more than 70, a grim and dramatic reminder that Pakistan, a Muslim nation of 160 million that shares a porous 1,500-mile border with Afghanistan, has not been able to quell terrorist attacks despite the efforts of a large professional army and other security forces.

Your assignment is to edit it into two or more concise sentences, eliminating the gaudy and unnecessary phrase, “a grim and dramatic reminder.”

March 29, 2009

Soros as Bond villain

Slightly less charismatic than Dr. No, perhaps, but much, much more evil.

Update: by Smitty
Speaking of Bond villains, the graphic over on Gateway Pundit makes you wonder who will benefit from current energy policy. Probably not “Dr. Yes”.

March 29, 2009

How not to help the economy

New York State raises taxes on “the rich”:

The new plan, which would expire after three years, would represent the largest state income tax increase in recent history, significantly larger than the surcharges imposed from 2003 to 2005, when the state last faced a major recession.
The plan would raise $4 billion a year by creating two new tax brackets, the highest one affecting those who earn $500,000 or more. If approved by rank-and-file lawmakers in the Assembly and State Senate, the tax increases would be a major victory for unions and liberal advocacy groups and a signal of the new balance of power in Albany, where Democrats won control of both houses of the Legislature and the governor’s office in last year’s election.
Although the proposed tax has been called a “millionaires’ tax,” it would affect those with incomes starting at $300,000, who would be taxed at a rate of 7.85 percent. The highest bracket would carry a tax rate of 8.97 percent — the same as New Jersey’s current highest rate.

Ooh, that engine of economic growth, New Jersey!

March 29, 2009

Rule 5 Sunday

By Smitty
Rule 5 is off to a healthy start this Sunday. Mail bomb me at Smitty and keep it tasteful and complementary of the subject, as you so wonderfully do.

  • Monique gets top billing, for both providing Rule 5 input, and, for extra credit, seeing the subject in concert. This is a level of dedication we must respect.
  • Respect, too, for American Power’s FM Saturday, with another Britney bit and a mention of this blog’s ‘Full Monty Joint Review’ Avalanche of just yesterday.
  • House of Eratosthenes offers some vintage Lynda Carter, amidst a post lamenting her current vacuousness.
  • At the Point of a Gun skillfully blends Rule 5 with honoring the troops.
  • R5 and the Second Amendment meet powerfully in this ‘clip’ from Paco. Content warning: several teddy bears and piggy banks were harmed beyond recognition in the filming.
  • Kirbside knows a pleasant eye-rest when he sees one, and we appreciate him for that.
  • Pat sends some beefcake for the ladies. This may be an attempt to smooth ruffled feathers over last week’s Quaid submission, but who am I to psychoanalyze?
  • Meanwhile, the Troglopundit takes great risks in his pursuit of the Clever S.Logan. Bravery? Foolhardiness? Oh, wait: what’s that second photo? Safety note: Do not scroll down the page. Stop when you come to the top of the second picture frame. There is a Thing Which Shall Not Be Named lurking there. While perfectly SFW, it might crash your browser. You are warned.
  • The Elder of Ziyon brings the hot squid, (although I don’t know if Israeli sailors are called ‘squids’ the way Americans are, or British sailors are ‘limeys’).
  • Mr. Jeffords contributes some excellent legs that come attached to Reese Witherspoon.
  • Meanwhile, Gharie remains committed to excellence in media, Fox News in this case.
  • Political Castaway chips in the The Most Intense Cheeseburger Commercial You Will Ever See. So good, you’d nearly have to rate it PG. Why am I suddenly craving a burger?
  • The Trackacrat contributes a picture of Famke Janssen, fretting that she may not be conservative enough. Understand: Rule 5 is all about reaching across the aisle, for purely Platonic reasons of course.
  • No Sheeples Here offers an excellent Wallace and Grommit reference, plus some additional beefcake for the ladies.
  • Bookending this post is Monique again, with Scarlett Johansson in play. This prompts some daffy SNL action for a closer:

Frequent Commenter Serr8d comes through on a couple of levels. First, we have some Carla Bruni-Sarkozy legs that are splendid examples of the form. Click through to the Times of London link, and view the G20 spouse portfolio for a healthy chuckle at the end.
Update II:
The Trackacrat suggests a Rule 5 moral hazard category. Unsure as to whether this is a good idea. We have standards around here, somewhere. Possibly under the couch cushions. Discuss.

March 29, 2009

Ron Chusid: Let’s Talk Classical Liberal Values

by Smitty

Ron Chusid at Liberal Values, “Defending Liberty and Enlightened Thought”, condescended to notice the 21Mar09 FMJRA post, wherein this blog appended three words to LV’s description of the Democratic Party to read:

People with a wide variety of beliefs who oppose the authoritarianism and incompetence of recent Republican rule, opting for worse.

LV notes: This phrasing does seem to sound like an acceptance of the description of Republicans.
In today’s FMJRA post, this blog briefly drew a distinction between RINOs and CPAC attendees. People who consider themselves conservative very often have little trouble criticizing recent Republican rule. It sucked much pondwater in many important ways. Whoopee.
Then LV gets into the heart of an interesting discussion of values as such:

Many conservatives show their lack of understanding of both politics and morality (or values) as they believe that only they have values. In the case of conservatives such as Robert Stacy McCain, holding values comes down to following what they believe is the word of God as I discussed here. Only such conservatives would fail to recognize these liberal values as values (regardless of whether they agree with them):

Couldn’t agree less with the choice of the word “many”. I might give you “some”, but really think it’s closer to “darn few”.

  1. In the first place, many conservatives of the more geeky bent will quickly acknowledge the ideas of classical liberalism as foundational. To quote Wikipedia:

    Friedrich Hayek identified two different traditions within classical liberalism: the “British tradition” and the “French tradition”. Hayek saw the British philosophers David Hume, Adam Smith, Adam Ferguson, Josiah Tucker, Edmund Burke and William Paley as representative of a tradition that articulated beliefs in empiricism, the common law, and in traditions and institutions which had spontaneously evolved but were imperfectly understood. The French tradition included Rousseau, Condorcet, the Encyclopedists and the Physiocrats. This tradition believed in rationalism and the unlimited powers of reason, and sometimes showed hostility to tradition and religion. Hayek conceded that the national labels did not exactly correspond to those belonging to each tradition: Hayek saw the Frenchmen Montesquieu, Constant and Tocqueville as belonging to the “British tradition” and the British Thomas Hobbes, Godwin, Priestley, Richard Price and Thomas Paine as belonging to the “French tradition”. Hayek also rejected the label “laissez faire” as originating from the French tradition and alien to the beliefs of Hume, Smith and Burke.

    The reason conservatives shun the term “liberal” to describe these values is that the term has been hijacked by a pack of crypto-Marxist twits. Which brings us to point two:

  2. In Classic Robert Bork, this blog reviewed a mid-90s essay that discussed two modern liberal values in some detail: radical individualism and radical egalitarianism. These values inform much of the wrongheadedness currently on display. Worth your time.

But let’s return to the LV post for a thorough examination of the values that many conservatives are purported to abhor:

  • Support for individual liberty

<sarcasm>Absolutely. Our contempt for the Bill of Rights in general, and the Second Amendment in particular, is legendary. Sharia for me-uh!</sarcasm>

  • Support for a free market economy in which everyone has the opportunity to succeed based upon their own actions

<sarcasm>Indeed. Centralized planning, and state control are historical winners.</sarcasm>

  • Tolerance of others living a life style different from your own

This blog, for example, has a downright libertarian outlook on behavior.

  • Support for a sensible foreign policy which defends the country while respecting principles such as the Geneva Convention and follows international law opposing the use of torture

Who are these endorsers of torture, again?

  • Making health care accessible to all, as is the case in every other industrialized nation

Who is denying you health care? Who is saying that it is reasonably “accessible” elsewhere? My German wife can offer interesting anecdotal counter-evidence. Even if you cheerfully ignore the 10th Amendment and allow the Federal government the chance to sodomizefix health care, the Faustian nature of the bargain is unlikely to please.

  • Taking care of the environment which we all depend upon

<sarcasm>You have me here. Compulsive pyromaniac that I am, I hop in my SUV and drive at high speeds to forests, and burn them. The concept of ecological stewardship is utterly lost on me.</sarcasm>

  • Support for basing political decisions based upon empiric data as opposed to religious belief

<sarcasm>It is our responsibility to set up these straw men for you to topple. Why do you hate our teamwork arrangement?</sarcasm>

  • Respecting the rights of all to worship or not worship as they choose, which can only be guaranteed by respecting the goal of the Founding Fathers to establish a secular government

<sarcasm>You will worship the Flying Spaghetti Monster or else I will continue to repeat myself, unbeliever! FSM: now comes with wiki. Some assembly and a little bit of C coding required, works with GCC, except where it doesn’t.</sarcasm>

  • Respect for science as the best way to understand the universe

<sarcasm>I, for one, admire the use of science as a source of propaganda, in particular, the Anthropogenic Global Warming clowns.</sarcasm>
Less sarcastically, my first job out of High School was as a AN/UYK-7 (‘yuck 7’) technician. Working hard, I earned an appointment to a service academy and pursued and engineering degree. I’ve also taken and failed some Master’s level Biochemistry.
Why do you care?
Listen: fixing broken things, engineering new things, and deriving the scientific underpinnings of things are merely variations on the theme of common sense. Attempting to treat the scientific method as an existential answer to the meaning of life is absurd. Science explains the ‘what’ of existence; it is impotent at explaining the ‘why’. I happen to personally hold the Bible account of creation as received truth, a beautiful and poetic abstract as to ‘why’. When we meet the Creator, and have the intellectual capacity to grasp the nuances of How It Was All Done, we’re going to discover that the current vast amount of knowledge we possess is but a grain of sand on the divine beach of knowledge. That’s no reason to be any less inquisitive, but every reason to remain humble while so doing. I shan’t waste your time attempting to argue a strict Creationism, if you’ll forgive my amusement at the Theory of the Week Club, with its constant revisions of estimates of literally everything. You don’t know; I don’t know (at a scientifically provable level) anything more than

Psalm 90:4 For a thousand years in thy sight are but as yesterday when it is past, and as a watch in the night.

You could argue that the Psalmist contradicts himself in the space of a single sentence, or you could view it as an intellectual get-out-of-jail-free card.
Painting conservatives as disrespectful of science is off base.

Dear Mr. Chusid sir,
Your parade of “many” strawmen looks impressive from a distance. You might find small numbers of actual examples of people adhering to these absurdities, for example a Fred Phelps. I submit though, that the bulk of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy conforming to this silliness you decry exists in the imaginations of some propaganda flaks. Did you attend CPAC, or any of the Tea Party protests? Let me buy you your beverage of choice on 15April at a protest meeting. I usually wear a USS Constitution ballcap, because that’s what’s on my mind.