Little Miss Attila on Latinos

“. . . a numerically significant, slavelike underclass in my particular part of the world.”

She means that in the nicest possible way, of course. As a matter of policy, my primary concern is whether they are in her particular part of the world legally, and I will leave it to Attila to describe their other attributes by way of explaining her intolerance of “stereotypes.”

No, seriously, that was her intention. Stereotyping Canadians, Frenchmen and Jews — she’s OK with that. But not the Latinos. (She’s probably also OK with stereotyping hillbillies, so excuse me whilst I guzzle some moonshine, tune up my banjo, and pick a little of that bluegrass classic, “Lonesome Incestuous Ridge-Runner Blues.”)

Don’t worry, Attila. When the MALDEF protesters show up at your office demanding your immediate termination, Kathy Shaidle and I will be there to defend you against charges of xenophobic hatemongering.

“No, you’ve got it all wrong, compadre. You’ve taken her out of context. In her culture, ‘slavelike underclass’ is intended as high praise. She really loves you little brown people! Look, she sent us down here to give you this case of Corona and $20 so you could buy some enchiladas for your buddies there. Have yourselves a regular fiesta, ya know? Now, y’all boys take your megaphone and your picket signs and get on out of here. Hasta la vista, Jose!”

That ought to fix the problem. “Crisis mediation” is a speciality of mine.


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