All great rock music was recorded by the time John Bonham died

That is all the “rock music criticism” anyone under 40 needs to know. Anything recorded after Sept. 25, 1980, is therefore not great rock music.

As to this silly dispute over ’80s “hair bands” vs. ’90s “grunge,” it’s like debating which was the better painter, de Kooning or Pollock. Neither one had any talent, so who cares?

UPDATE: James Joyner weighs in, prompting his commenter Bernard Finel to say of my argument: “I think this is probably the single dumbest thing ever posted anywhere in the history of the internet.”

Don’t be too sure of that, Bernie. I’ve written more 3,900 posts here. Surely you could find something dumber. If not, there’s always tomorrow . . .