Confirmed: They’re fakies

UPDATED 9 p.m.: SHANNA MOAKLER IS A LIAR!

PREVIOUSLY: Perez Hilton: “In a very catty move. . . [Miss California USA pageant directors Keith] Lewis and [Shanna] Moakler confirmed to Access Hollywood that the Miss California pageant paid for Carrie Prejean to get breast implants six weeks before the Miss USA competition.”

UPDATE 2 PM: Keith Lewis is DENYING that either he or Moakler told Access Hollywood any such thing. However, Lewis did not deny that Carrie’s got fake boobs. Don’t worry: We are fearlessly committed to exposing the truth here.

You heard it here first, folks!

And we’re now the the No. 1 Google for “carrie+prejean+implants“!

UPDATE 2:30 p.m.: Via Twitter, ShannaMoakler also denies the Perez Hilton item. Folks, I’m trying hard to get to the truth. As I just said in an e-mail to Bob Barr, it’s not the crime, it’s the cover-up. What did Shanna Moakler know, and when did she know it?

UPDATE 5:40 p.m.: Ouch:

Did she buy them at Walmart? . . . Not a good look when you are competing in a national beauty pageant, but a great look for amateur night at your local strip club. Supposedly, the state committee for Miss California – USA bought them for her; my question is, Did they use a coupon?

UPDATE 6 p.m.: From the official bio:

[Prejean] an advocate for encouraging healthy lifestyles for young women. Carrie wants people to remember her as being compassionate and real.

Jezebel comments:

If it turns out that Miss California organizers bought her new breasts, they should be called on the carpet; and Prejean may need to rethink that last statement.

Stay tuned for further BreastGate updates as the investigation continues . . .

UPDATE: An anonymous commenter (whom for some reason I suspect to be either Troglopundit or Professor Donald Douglas) provides this link to a photo of pre-fakie Carrie.

In a related development, why is Perez Hilton involved in an organization that discriminates against transsexuals?

BTW, if Miss Prejean wishes to deny that she’s got implants, she should e-mail Smitty, who has been appointed chairman of the Fake Boob Investigative Commission.

UPDATE II: Alert the media!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELASE
BREAST IMPLANT PANDEMIC MUST BE EXPOSED
Internet Investigation Launched in Wake of Pageant Scandal
WASHINGTON, D.C. April 29 — Revelations that Miss California USA pageant sponsors paid for Carrie Prejean’s breast augmentation procedure have prompted a group of Internet activists to organize an investigation of the prevalence of silicone implants in the pageant industry.
“This is an aesthetic disgrace and an unpatriotic insult to the fine tradition of American breasts,” said blogger Robert Stacy McCain, a leading online advocate of traditional values who helped launch the Fake Boob Investigative Commission. “These pageant officials are displaying a widespread and harmful prejudice against small breasts that damages the self-esteem of millions of women in this country. Their claim to value ‘diversity’ is clearly false, so long as they effectively banish healthy American A-cups from their competitions.”
Vowing to combat the misleading use of “fakies” in the pageant industry, the Internet activists announced a slogan for their campaign: “REAL PRIDE: EXPOSE THE FAKES!” The activists urge that pageant contestants with natural breasts publicly declare their unenhanced status, and “name names” of contestants whom they know to have had deceptive implant surgery.
“This isn’t just about small-breasted women,” McCain said. “Naturally large-breasted women are also being cheated by being forced into competition with these artificially enhanced frauds. It’s the equivalent of illegal steroid use in sports.”
McCain said that at least one former member of Congress has expressed interest in the issue, and that the Fake Boob Commission is seeking legal advice on whether the use of breast implants in pageants violates state or federal laws, including civil rights statutes.

Legal advisers say a class-action lawsuit is possible, if we could find enough beauty pageant contestants with real breasts who feel they have been victimized by discrimination.

UPDATE III: We have a theme song, “Miss California,” by Jack’s Mannequin:

UPDATE IV: Another shocking revelation: WATER IS WET!

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