Archive for April 30th, 2009

April 30, 2009

A linky-love recession?

How hard did I work to own the Carrie Prejean breast implant meme? Like a mofo.

So I’m checking SiteMeter and notice traffic off an Ace of Spades thread, check it out and it’s Ace blogging about Carrie’s fake tits. But it’s not Ace that’s linking me, it’s a commenter.

Instead, Ace links Jammie Wearing Fool, whom I beat to this meme by at least a week. And then I go to Jammie’s place and see that he got a freaking Instalanche.

So then, I notice I’m getting traffic from a Hot Air thread, but when I go there, it’s not Allah linking me, it’s also a commenter. Allah won’t link me even though I was blogging about this at the Green Room this morning!

WTF? Is my blog-fu fading? Is it my breath? If I wanted to be treated like crap, I would have stayed in the newspaper business.

UPDATE: Welcome to the Linky-Love Deficit Syndrome Encounter Group, where we sit around and talk about our feelings about our anemic traffic. And hug and cry a lot.

UPDATE II: When it rains, it pours, and your protege gets linked by The New York Daily News. It makes a guy feel . . . inadequate.

UPDATE III: Brother Jimmie offers comforting words. We covet the linkage.

UPDATE IV: Carol at No Sheeples Here gives me a hug. And you know something? I think maybe Allahpundit is jealous because my wife of 20 years is still so freaking hot. And I’m going to rub his face in it by posting another hot photo of her from back in the day:

Yeah. They’re real. And they’re spectacular.

April 30, 2009

‘SWINE FLU: PANDEMIC IMMINENT?’

The title of this post was the chyron on my TV screen a little while ago as MSNBC interviewed Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano about the Media Panic Of The Week. Meanwhile, Joe Biden is warning citizens to avoid subways and planes. (What about AmTrak, Joe?) And in watching last night’s White House press conference, I was struck by the number of questions Obama got about swine flu.

WTF? Not since the Great Alar Apple Scare of 1989 have so many media alarmists spread so much panic to so many about so little. Jim Harper of Cato has noted the absurdity of treating a (largely potential) flu pandemic as a “national security” issue. What’s going on here? Two things, basically:

  • Women and old folks — Health news is consumed mainly by women and the elderly. Healthy men in the prime of life tend to consider themselves invulnerable to disease. Every real guy learns at an early age that only wussie-boys fret over germs. Real guys instinctively loathe the neurasthenic wimp who explains his latest case of the sniffles by whining, “It’s my allergies.” Women, however, seem to have an inherent predisposition toward hypochondria. For example, women are the prime market for hand sanitizer; it’s like they have a self-esteem issue about their immune systems. And old folks, of course, spend 80% of their waking hours worrying about their health, carefully monitoring themselves for “regularity” and visiting the doctor weekly to demand diagnoses and treatment for their various aches and pains. This is why Medicare is threatening to bankrupt America: Going to the doctor is actually a hobby for the elderly. Old folks love to collect things, and now they’re collecting prescriptions at taxpayer expense. (Honestly: Go look at your Grandma’s medicine cabinet.)
  • The illusion of executive competence — One thing certain about swine flu: The panic will eventually end. A week or two from now, the outbreak will have run its course and people will stop worrying about it. But the ubiquitous image of Barack Obama on TV, speaking calmly in his resonant baritone about government measures to combat The Dreaded Swine Flu Menace, will have had their intended effect of conveying the idea that he is The Man In Charge, the calm at the eye of the storm, the antithesis of how George W. Bush was perceived during Hurricane Katrina.

Not coincidentally, if you scratch the surface of those polls showing how popular Obama is, you’ll see that women, old folks and neurasthenic wussie-boys are his strongest constituencies. Ask Grandma — if you can catch her between her taxpayer-funded visits to the doctor — what she thinks of how Obama has handled The Dreaded Swine Flu Menace.

Obama’s lackeys in the media know exactly what they’re doing. Turning an ordinary virus into a Code Orange national-security threat is political gold for Obama.

April 30, 2009

Go patriarchy, go!

Darlene Click’s beautiful daughter just got married! But don’t worry, lovelorn right-wing bachelors of the blogosphere, Darlene’s got at least two more beautiful daughters.

Take that, Amanda Marcotte!

April 30, 2009

SHANNA MOAKLER: NAKED LIAR?

Earlier today, I reported Shanna Moakler’s denial of Perez Hilton’s report that she had told Access Hollywood that pageant officials paid for Carrie Prejean’s implants. Now Access Hollywood reports:

Shanna Moakler, Co-Executive Director of the Miss California Organization, has confirmed the group behind the pageant paid for Miss California Carrie Prejean’s breast implants, weeks before she competed in Miss USA.
In a new interview with Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush, Shanna confirmed the news.
“Did you guys pay for it?: Billy asked Shanna directly.
“Yes,” Shanna said. “We did.”
The organization paid for Carrie’s breast enhancement prior to her competing in the Miss USA pageant, which was held in Las Vegas, almost two weeks ago.
“It was something that we all spoke about together,” Shanna said referring to herself, Carrie and Keith Lewis, Shanna’s co-executive director. “It was an option and she wanted it. And we supported that decision.”
Shanna, a former Miss USA herself, defended the Miss California Organization’s decision to pay for the elective surgery.
“Breast implants in pageants is not a rarity. It’s definitely not taboo. It’s very common. Breast implants today among young women today is very common. I don’t personally have them, but you know — they are,” she added.

You lying bitch! You deleted your earlier Tweet, in which you denied the Perez Hilton story, then turned around and Twittered:

Just did Access Hollywood, feel very good about it and hope I cleared up things! Billy Bush was a great!

Public Relations 101: NEVER LIE TO A REPORTER. We are not stupid. You are not required to respond to any press inquiry. You can refuse to comment, “neither confirm nor deny,” etc. But never lie, because once you’re caught lying, your credibility is shot.

Obviously, however, you’re telling the truth about not having implants. I did my research, lady. They’re real enough, all right. But they’re definitely not spectacular (or safe for work). No wonder Travis dumped you. Maybe he’ll take the kids, too.

UPDATE: Via Dan Collins, prepare for the weirdness of Perez Hilton in drag as . . . Bettie Page. Go ahead and laugh while you can. If Obama gets his way, it will be a hate crime to laugh. It’s already illegal discrimination to fire a transsexual.

UPDATE II: Frank J asks: “Why are people always trying to tear down our heroes?” Feet of clay, boobs of silicone?

Also, not to fuel anyone’s paranoia, but I’m getting anonymous tips that Carrie Prejean might actually be a Trojan Horse for the gay-rights movement. Prejean is friends with pageant director Keith Lewis, who was executive producer for a pro-gay documentary, “For The Bible Tells Me So.”

According to my tipster’s theory — and this is just speculation — the whole Perez Hilton question for Prejean was a setup, a stunt conceived to catapult Prejean to celebrity as a national spokewoman against same-sex marriage. Then, a few months later, she’ll have a “Road To Damascus” conversion, claiming to have “seen the light” about how hateful those conservative homophobes are, and why same-sex marriage should be the law of the land.

Also, my tipster speculates, various people (including Shanna Moakler) are using the Prejean controversy as publicity to help them negotiate new reality-TV gigs. (Apparently, landing a reality-show contract has in recent years become the obsession of every washed-up starlet and D-lister in Hollywood.)

This is all just speculation from anonymous tipsters, and is close enough to being outright conspiracy theory that I take it with numerous grains of salt. However, it’s worth keeping in mind as we watch the continuing saga of Carrie Prejean.

UPDATE III: I’ve also explained the tin-foil hat/silicone boobs theory at the Green Room. Meanwhile, Brian Simpson disputes my assessment of Moakler’s (non-)spectacularity. I’m sorry, Brian: I’ve got very high standards in this regard, after being married 20 years to such a hottie.

UPDATE IV: Naturally, Pandagon’s Pam Spaulding is outraged that anyone could (even pretend to) be against same-sex marriage.

UPDATE V: Ace says Prejean is getting the “Joe The Plumber treatment” from the press corps, and sees a double standard at work. Please note that, although I’m a thoroughgoing right-winger, I don’t feel like it’s my job to ignore Carrie’s fakies.

News is news, facts are facts, and — most importantly — traffic is traffic. I’m a capitalist blogger, and I don’t see any reason to let Gawker and Perez Hilton monopolize the “Carrie Prejean fake boob” traffic.