The kind of job I need

Los Angeles Times:

For seven years, the Los Angeles Unified School District has paid Matthew Kim a teaching salary of up to $68,000 per year, plus benefits.
His job is to do nothing. . . .
A special education teacher, he was removed from Grant High School in Van Nuys and assigned to a district office in 2002 after the school board voted to fire him for allegedly harassing teenage students and colleagues. In the meantime, the district has spent more than $2 million on him in salary and legal costs.

(H/T: NewsAlert.) Obviously, the L.A. schools need to fire Kim and hire me, because I’m excellent at doing nothing. Ask my wife. And if they want me to harass someone, I’m also very good at that, too. I’ve had years of experience, threatening to strangle various journalistic colleagues or beat the daylights out of my kids.

I’m going to apply for one of these no-work jobs in Los Angeles and if they don’t hire me, I’ll sue them for discrimination. Hillbillies have rights, too, y’know.

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