Archive for May 7th, 2009

May 7, 2009

‘Doctor, My Eyes’

Today, I twice had bad typos in posts. There is an explanation.

Last week, one of my teenagers came down with conjunctivitis — “pink eye” — and since then, each of our six children has had the same outbreak, in succession. Yesterday afternoon, my eyes started getting sore and now I’ve got it. (Family values!)

I’m miserable, of course, but the inflammation only lasts about 48 hours, and so by tomorrow afternoon, I should be back to normal. (Define “normal.”) In the meantime, my eyes are blurry, I feel like crap, and I need to be getting my rest, so blogging will be sporadic.

May 7, 2009

Levi Johnston: ‘Mindless bag of hormones’

So says Laura at Pursuing Holiness, discussing the latest interview from the Bristol Palin baby daddy:

“Abstinence is a great idea,” he said, “but I also think you need to enforce, you know, condoms and birth control and other things like that to have safe sex. I don’t just think telling young kids, you can’t have sex, it’s not going to work. It’s not realistic. ” … It’s a great idea and a great message she’s trying to send out to the world and all the young kids. It’s not easy raising a baby. But I do think there’s more things to it than just not having sex.”

Yeah, Levi, but if you had stuck to the “just not having sex” part, you wouldn’t be famous now, would you? You’d still be just some small-town jock chasing tail in Wasilla, and CBS News would never want to interview a nobody loser like that.

I remember back when the news broke of Bristol’s pregnancy. My first post about it was critical of Bristol, even more critical of Levi Johnston, and yet more critical of the way the story was handled by the “media strategy geniuses” who were busy doing what they do best, running the Republican Party off a cliff. There is a right way and a wrong way to handle a scandal in the New Media age, and Republicans haven’t figured it out yet, because they’re too busy paying gazillions of dollars to “media strategy geniuses” who never worked a day in the news business. But we digress . . .

Many of my conservative readers excoriated me for daring to criticize the Romeo and Juliet of Anchorage. But (a) that’s just the way I roll, people, and (b) I know enough about 17-year-old boys to recognize Levi Johnston for what he is.

Yeah, big-deal hockey star, doin’ the governor’s daughter, braggin’ to all his buddies about it. There was a reason, you see, that when the media flew up to Wasilla, every other person they talked to was telling them about Levi and Bristol. Because that’s the kind of guy Levi Johnston is.

Dimwit losers like that are a dime a dozen.

But a conservative isn’t supposed to say such things! Blame everything on the evil “media”! As I noted even before we knew Levi’s last name:

Little Miss Attila refers to the press as “jackals” and “bottom-feeders.” Hey, it’s their job, OK? By this time tomorrow, you’ll have Levi’s full name and biography, you’ll know how he met Bristol, etc., etc. You’ll read it. You may feel guilty about reading it, but you’ll read every word of it.
Will you be grateful to the reporters who dug up those facts? No. Some poor shmuck of a reporter is even now knocking on doors in Alaska, getting rude responses and threatening gestures, in order to satisfy your pathological curiosity, and you diss him as a “jackal.” Fine. Don’t read the story when Drudge puts a siren on it tomorrow.
But you will read it, won’t you? So, who’s really the bottom-feeding jackal here?

Facts are facts. Any journalist who is halfway intelligent and stays in the game a while will learn secrets he can never report, because you don’t burn a source. You are always skeptical of “the story too good to be true,” and so when I saw the Republican spinners portraying the fairy-tale romance of Levi and Bristol . . . well, I shut up.

Nobody wanted to hear my appraisal of the situation. I focused on other stories and just let the whole Levi and Bristol business go on to its sorry, and utterly predictable, denouement. None of the nice, respectable Republicans who were telling me not to criticize Levi back in September will ever say now, “Hey, you know something? He was right.” And what did I tell you Feb. 5, 2008?

[John] McCain is not a conservative, he will lose in November . . .

I was right about that, too. A guy gets tired of being right all the time, and watching fools prosper.

May 7, 2009

Let’s talk ‘homophobia’

One of my friends used to be a lesbian. I mean total, militant, out-and-proud lesbian. And then she met a guy and fell in love and now she’s just a suburban mom. Almost nobody knows that she was ever gay.

You’ve seen these “ex-gay” crusaders? My friend isn’t one of those. However, she knows what she knows, and she knows it from direct personal experience. And if there is anything she hates worse than the accusation of being “ignorant” about homosexuality, it’s being accused of “homophobia,” a word whose very meaning she disputes as an ontological error.

So I thought of my ex-lesbian friend today when I saw the headline, “CARRIE PREJEAN — ORIGINS OF HOMOPHOBIA,” citing court documents from her parents’ divorce.

This “diagnosis” from the psychiatric experts at TMZ.com demanded an appropriate response, and since “Fuck You, TMZ.com!” probably wouldn’t go over too well with the Boss at Hot Air, I tried to make it a little more subtle at the Green Room:

Let me say something very clearly: Stipulating as a hypothetical that there exists a mental disorder we might fairly call “homophobia” — an irrational fear or hatred of homosexuals — I am 100% certain that I do not suffer from it. And I’m willing to bet good money that Carrie Prejean doesn’t suffer from it, either. . . .

You should read the whole thing. And watch out for those double-entendres, especially if you’re bilingual. NTTAWWT.

UPDATE: Jules Crittenden is craving some naked Carrie Prejean linky-love. And since he caught a typo on my blog, he deserves at least as much linky-love as Marie Osmond’s lesbian daughter. Je suis un capitaliste! (Chicks dig it when I talk French.)

UPDATE II: Thanks to the commenters who corrected my French. Hey, what kind of un-Americans are you, anyway, with all that parlais-vouz stuff? I’ll bet you’re the kind of commies who would put dijon mustard on a cheeseburger. I’m thinking of an Anglo-Saxon compound word for you guys . . .

UPDATE III: William Teach at Pirate’s Cove tells us the “new” Carrie Prejean nude pic is a Photoshop.

Also: Welcome Conservative Grapevine readers! Let me warn you that if you don’t really hate Meghan McCain, don’t click this link. And my rule has always been, when in doubt, double down.

May 7, 2009

Joe the Plumber: Ordinary American

Last year, I started using the term “Ordinary American” to describe people who aren’t part of the influential elite class, the kind of people David Brooks sneers at when he uses “populism” as a pejorative. People like Joe Wurzelbacher:

Joe the Plumber is an Ordinary American, someone whose existence is lived outside the world where elite opinion is ubiquitous and omnipotent.
The Ordinary American is not a journalist, a movie producer, an academic or a politician. News media, entertainment, education and politics are endeavors that shape public attitudes, and for this reason the elite have striven for decades to exclude from those fields anyone who might dispute their consensus. . . .
Why doesn’t the Ordinary American endorse the consensus? Or, perhaps more accurately, why does the Ordinary American (whatever his personal opinion on such issues) not become furiously angry when he encounters dissent from the consensus?
Well, if you’re a plumber — or an accountant or a truck driver or a small business owner — your ability to fulfill your hopes and ambitions is not dependent on the approval of the elite. For most people in Toledo, Ohio, getting hired or getting promoted has nothing to do with their willingness to parrot the “correct” opinion on tax cuts or foreign policy. . . .
Why do I relate more easily to guys like Joe Wurzelbacher than to the elites who condemn him? Maybe it’s because I spent most of my life far from Washington, D.C., where nobody cared about my opinions. Maybe it’s because my family and friends — my truck-driving brothers, my childhood buddy the school cafeteria supervisor, my sister-in-law the dental hygienist — are so much like Joe.
The ironic point is that a guy like Joe the Plumber doesn’t care the least what you or I think of him. He doesn’t care whether we like him or not. He is proudly independent and unafraid to speak his mind. He is that extraordinary individual, the Ordinary American.

Please read the whole thing. And click here to buy a T-shirt:

May 7, 2009

VIDEO: Ann Coulter vs. Joy Behar

Behaw guest-hosting on “Larry King Live,” and Ann Coulter calling Dick Cheney a “wuss”:

Behar cites John McCain’s opposition to waterboarding and Coulter replies: “You know what a fan I am of John McCain.” Heh.

May 7, 2009

NEW: Conservative Political Report

Wednesday night, I got a call from Mike Casey who, along with his buddy Jason Corley, has started a new site, Conservative Political Report, that you really ought to check out.

I haven’t talked to Jason yet, but if he’s half as smart as Mike, then between them they’ve got more IQ points than the combined cast of “The View” (except Elizabeth Hasselbeck).

Smart guys and a smart site. Basically, Mike and Jason have created on their own hook what I’ve heard dozens of GOP “online activists” say we need, but nobody ever bothered to build: A state-by-state, election-by-election, issue-by-issue political news aggregator for conservatives.

One of the stories I found there (in the “Campaigns and Candidates” category) was about the crowded field for next year’s Alabama gubernatorial race. At the April 15 Tea Party down there, I had a chance to meet one of the GOP candidates, Tim James. So it was good to have a place where I could find a story analyzing all the candidates in both parties.

I will now be bombarded with complaints from people saying, “Hey, what about our site?” If there is something else out there like this, fine — link yourself in the comments, and link us at your site (where you’ll denounce us in fine Rule 4 fashion), and we’ll all have ourselves a grand old linkfest. But I like the way Mike and Jason have taken the initiative, instead of sitting around waiting for somebody to give ’em a zillion dollars in funding.

By the way: I know that Red State, Net Right Nation and some other sites are working in this direction, and that’s cool. There needs to be more collaboration and networking going on among conservatives.

Cut-throat rivalries are fine for business, but at some level, politics requires cooperation. These two guys have a good idea, and deserve support and encouragement for Conservative Political Report.

UPDATE: Thanks to Marie Osmond’s lesbian daughter for catching the typo. (“Give a man a Google bomb, and he’ll have traffic for a day. Teach a man to Google-bomb . .”)

May 7, 2009

Marie Osmond’s lesbian daughter?

While searching the news for the latest Carrie Prejean developments, I just happened to come across a story that one of Marie Osmond’s daughters is a lesbian. Can you guess which one?

Most of you guys probably guessed wrong, according to this story that reports Marie is supporting same-sex marriage in California.

Some background: Three years ago, Marie went on a crusade for Internet decency after reading her daugthers’ MySpace pages. Daughter Jessica, then 18, described herself on MySpace as a bisexual who craved sex “as many times as possible,” while daughter Rachael, then 16, described herself as a “slut” and a “whore.”

According to the latest news, Jessica has since kissed “bi” bye-bye and is now playing full-time for the other team. But cheer up, guys: You still have a shot at the self-described “slut”/”whore.”

Just quoting what others have reported. Nothing to do with National Offend A Feminist Week. Honest.

May 7, 2009

No, Obama is not Spock

by Smitty

Jeff Greenwald at Salon says Obama is Spock: It’s quite logical.
He’s been FDR…Abraham Lincoln…and now Spock. I suppose the point is to advertise the new Trek flick. However, one is left to question why the POTUS can’t just be Barak Obama. Writer of best-sellers, fundraiser extraordinaire, campaign wizard, [pejoratives go here]. Do we really have to endure Obama Clock more attempts do define the guy in terms of someone else?
Looking at the IMDB top 250, we may see:

  • Obama is Don Vito Corleone “I’d like to make you a bailout offer you can’t refuse.”
  • Obama is Jules Winnfield (his wallet is the one that says [NSFW]Bad Mike Foxtrot)
  • Obama is Rick Blaine “Here’s making vaguely obscene gestures at you, kid.”
  • Obama is Han Solo (replete with pastry-head Michelle)
  • Obama is Indiana Jones (crack that whip!)
  • Obama is President Merkin Muffley “General Turgidson, I find this very difficult to understand. I was under the impression that I was the only one in authority to order the use of nuclear weapons.”
  • Obama is Charles Foster Kane “Arugula…”
  • Obama is Arthur, King of the Britons (Joe Biden with the coconuts)

…and so forth. Basically any non-military (anti)hero. Discuss your suggestions.

May 7, 2009

Left-wing bloggers boost 2014 re-election campaign of Sen. Jeff Sessions

Michelle Malkin:

The left-wing blogosphere has been busy slinging mud at Alabama Sen. Jeff Sessions, who has taken over the lead GOP spot on the Senate Judiciary Committee. All on cue, the liberal bloggers are recycling old quotes out of context to smear Sen. Sessions as a racist and cripple the Republicans from voicing any opposition to President Obama’s first Supreme Court nominee.
The race-obsessed leftists are the ones wearing the bigot blinders. They see every white Southern Republican male in public office as a de facto racist.

In case you don’t know anything about Alabama Republicans, they are profoundly suspicious of any Republican official who has never been denounced as a “racist.” If liberals want to destroy Senator Sessions, they should start saying nice things about him.

Ultimately, this scattershot business of smearing every opponent of Obama as “racist” will have precisely the opposite effect of what liberals hope. Lots of folks are starting to notice this — look at Glenn Beck — and fight back.

Stand firm and tell the truth. The idiot liberals might just yet Alabamify this country.

May 7, 2009

Video: Glenn Beck to ACORN: ‘Get the hell out of my studio’

Via Hot Air, how to deal with cheap liberal accusations of “racism”:

Kathy Shaidle might have just fallen in love. She’s gotta at least be breathing heavily.