Archive for May 8th, 2009

May 8, 2009

‘I stand in naked solidarity . . .’

Tigerhawk strips down with Carrie Prejean, and makes a massively impressive argument:

The angle of the shot . . . makes it only mildly NSFW, certainly no worse than the “scandalous” picture of Carrie Prejean. The picture may lack the compositional integrity of the Speedo shot of The Other McCain, but it is no more or less offensive, and perhaps leaves more to the imagination, at least in the frontal sense.

“More to the imagination”? Oh, so much more than you could possibly imagine:

That water was cold. And did I forget to mention that my wife and I have six children? Because conservatives “don’t understand about sex.” It’s still National Offend A Feminist Week, and we know what does the trick.

May 8, 2009

As Tony Fontaine said to Scarlett . . .

“My God, Scarlett O’Hara!” said Tony peevishly. “When I start out to cut somebody up, you don’t think I’ll be satisfied with scratching him with the blunt side of my knife, do you? No, by God, I cut him to ribbons.”
Gone With The Wind

Dear Matthew Yglesias:
You have lately accosted my friends in a most unjust manner. That you linked me in the course of attacking Glenn Beck is of no import. I’ve never met Mr. Beck and owe him nothing, and you were at least tolerably civil toward me, which is more than I could reasonably expect, given the current norms of political discourse.

What troubled me, sir, was your description of my friend William Jacobson as “humorless” because he objected to your use of the term “breeders” to describe traditionalists.

Thank you, however, for the intimate revelation that you are a “hetero-American.” This is a startling admission to hear from a Harvard graduate. Apparently, the regime of compulsory homosexuality at Cambridge still hasn’t reached its Stalinist stage, and some few furtive Trotskyite heretics are still permitted in the Yard. (This is no place to discuss the Pol Pots of Penn or the Castros of Cornell.)

Neverthless, you should know that last night I prepared to eviscerate you today. Like an experienced butcher, however, I began by properly whetting my blade. And then I checked my SiteMeter, which was your salvation.

For I discovered that I had been linked by Conservative Grapevine, which also had a link to a column by Matt Lewis: “Top 10 Most Annoying Republicans.” Given the nature of my morning’s work, this beckoned my attention, where I was stunned to discover Mr. Lewis citing a most unexpected authority:

“To the best of my knowledge we’re talking about a young woman who’s never accomplished anything or held a job.”
Matthew Yglesias, April 20, 2008

Let all the congregation say, “Amen!” Therefore, I hope my good friend Professor Jacobson will forgive me if I not only sheath my knife, but extend to you a congratulatory handshake. No man who detests Meghan McCain can be all bad, and if you’ll go at her another time or two — which sources say is more than even the most devoted hetero-American fellows can generally manage — perhaps I’ll even buy you a beer sometime soon.

By grace are men saved, and not by their own merit. Pray you never lack a guardian angel like Matt Lewis.

Go in peace to love and serve the Lord.

UPDATE: Welcome, Instapundit readers. Is the professor . . . overcompensating? Kind of like Cynthia Yockey with the big wiener? Also: The mighty Paco-lanche!

May 8, 2009

Army officer admits: ‘The mere idea ofsex with Meghan McCain repulses me’

In a strange development, Lt. Dan Choi was so horrified by the possibility of having sex with the pathetic loser that he decided to become gay, so that Obama was forced to kick him out of the Army:

BTW, you know how I knew the Republican Party was totally screwed in 2008? It apparently never occurred to any of the geniuses at GOP-HQ, “Hey, why don’t we pay that guy not to blog about the McCain campaign?”

Now you know why they call it The Stupid Party.

That’s something the Mitt Romney brain trust should bear in mind. It was your man who quit after Super Tuesday, thereby letting Captain Queeg get the nomination with a mere 47% of the Republican primary vote.

Having nominated John the Loser in 2008, now the GOP will nominate Mitt the Quitter in 2012. That makes sense. I can blog about that every day, y’know. Because I’ve got ethics!

* * * * *

Permit me to address a comment the anonymous “Phil” left on an earlier post:

Woo, tough guy! Takes a real man to knock around a 25-year-old girl! Who’d you warm up on, Dakota Fanning?. . . . Use your formidable powers on someone your own size. For real. Gray hair professional journo bashing a chick who couldn’t get into a bar too long ago — very unbecoming.

“Unbecoming”? Chastising a spoiled brat, it would seem to me, is exactly what I ought to be doing.

What Phil evidently means to say is that Meghan McCain, at age 25, should be permitted to (pretend to) speak for the Republican Party, and that Robert Stacy McCain, at age 49, should be silent. That is to say, according to Phil, that experience should defer to youth. By the same principle, knowledge should defer to ignorance.

This inversion of values, this notion that the young and ignorant should tutor the experienced and knowledegable, is a most striking aspect of our contemporary culture. It is the antithesis of conservatism. But, hey, what else are we to expect from someone who defends Meghan McCain?

Double Standards, Squared
Ah, but our friend Phil is quite the traditionalist in one aspect: “He’s picking on a girl!” Well, after all, it is National Offend A Feminist WeekAnn Coulter is among those commemorating the occasion — and this is an excellent example of why I detest feminism.

On the one hand, feminists tell us, a woman is absolutely equal to a man. On the other hand, feminists declare, if a man dares criticize a woman, he is not only a patriarchal sexist oppressor (as all men are, according to feminist “logic”) but he is furthermore accused of being unmanly.

Wait a minute! How on earth do feminists, who derogate traditional sex roles and stridently insist that men and women must be treated as if they were identical, get away with invoking the ancient code that requires men to treat women with deference and courtesy?

A woman must be treated exactly like a man, until that moment when the egalitarian harridan suddenly decides she wants to be treated like a woman, at which point I’m denounced for failing to embody the chivalrous virtues of a character from a Sir Walter Scott novel!

Feminists expect to get away with this ludicrous incoherence — and I point out merely one of the inherent contradictions of feminism, which are legion — because feminism is a virus bred in academia, a pathologically decadent subculture notoriously populated by neurasthenic wimps. At Harvard, even a liberal in good standing like Larry Summers could not be permitted the mildest skepticism toward the feminist dogma which interprets every inequality between men and women as the product of misogynistic discrimination.

If this is the case with the president of Harvard University, just imagine the terroristic fury that would be unleashed upon some untenured faculty member who questioned whether the existence of a Women’s Studies department was justified by anything other than the fact that, after all, varsity women athletes must major in something.

Narcissus Transfixed
Cozened during her collegiate experience, where the faculty is too frightened — and the undergraduates too ignorant — to debunk the myriad fallacies of feminist cant, the young feminist emerges into society to discover that the real world doesn’t operate by the rules she has been taught. Rather than causing her to rethink her premises, however, this experience merely reinforces the belief into which she has been rigorously indoctrinated: Woman is born free, yet is everywhere in chains!

And “the personal is political,” as the feminists say, so that every anecdote about her encounters with the unfairness of the world is pluralized as data.

Hence, Megan McCain’s complaint that because she was expected to refrain from any word or deed that might embarrass her Republican father, “The Republican Party Doesn’t Understand Sex.”

Like other manifestations of The Vision of the Anointed, Megan McCain’s complaint about the conservative defense of moral tradition is essentially narcissistic: It’s all about me!

Yeah? Well, it’s about me, too, you ignorant slut.

Man, they hate that word, don’t they? The precious darlings of liberalism — and let’s make no mistake, Tina Brown only publishes the precious darlings of liberalism — are permitted to make transvestite jokes about Ann Coulter and make “ping pong” jokes about Michelle Malkin, but no conservative can ever turn the enemy’s weapons against the enemy. Khalid Sheikh Mohammed (speaking of precious darlings) can hide out in Pakistan plotting the deaths of thousands, yet liberals will sue if the CIA doesn’t treat precious Khalid with kid gloves.

This is a very old tradition among liberals, who defended the arch-traitor Alger Hiss and defamed the patriot Joe McCarthy, who hated Ronald Reagan yet consider Che Guevara a hero deserving of celebration in adulatory biopics. (Remember, kids: You can’t spell “liberal” without L-I-E.)

The Monopoly of Discourse
Wonkette complains that Meghan McCain deceitfully promoted her latest column as her “most revealing so far.” Rule 5C: Sex sells. So the Republican heiress titilates her Tweeps with hints of sexual revelation, but no one who disagrees with her can engage her on the terrain of her own choosing.

What part of “fuck you” do liberals not understand?

I will not be repeatedly insulted in the most personal terms — I “do not understand sex”? — and acquiesce in cowardly silence. You will not deceitfully malign me, impugn my beliefs and dishonor my heroes, and then demand that I treat you as if you deserved my respect.

“Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining.”
The Outlaw Josey Wales

Perceptive readers (as opposed to the idiots among you) now begin to perceive what Jeff Goldstein has been trying to tell us about “the fool’s game” of allowing one’s antagonists to dictate the terms of rhetorical conflict.

Liberals are like the British redcoats complaining that the colonial riflemen at Concord Bridge dared hide behind trees and stone walls, rather than coming out into the open to be slaughtered by volleys of massed musketry.

From the mighty platform of The Daily Beast, wealthy celebrity Meghan McCain tells us that we “do not understand sex,” yet heaven forbid some obscure blogger should reply that at least he understands Meghan McCain well enough to bet she’s an easy mark after four margaritas. (And a fool like her never stops at three.)

Friedrich Hayek would understand what is going on here. Just as established businesses seek to protect their interests by getting government to erect barriers to entry that disadvantage potential competitors, so too does the liberal attempt to erect barriers to entry into the competition of ideas.

A neurosthenic wimp like David Brooks is acceptable as a columnist for the New York Times, but not Michelle Malkin, David Limbaugh, Mark Steyn or anyone else who might effectively challenge the worldview at 620 Eighth Avenue. And only certain McCains get published by Tina Brown.

This is how the game is played, and any conservative who dares to point it out is accused of whining. Like ad hominem insults, whining is another field of endeavor that liberals wish to monopolize, and if you consent to play by their rules, you will soon discover that you are playing a loser’s game.

Just ask Meghan’s dad about the loser’s game. He spent a full decade sucking up to liberals, and what did it get him? Forty-seven percent of the Republican primary vote and 46% on November 5. And after the GOP nominated every liberal’s favorite stereotype of a Republican — short, grumpy, old and bald — what did the David Brookses and the Kathleen Parkers shout from the rooftops: BLAME CONSERVATIVES!

And what did I tell you on Election Day? You Did Not Lose. Conservatives are presented with a choice: Continue listening to those who advised them to take the path that led down to destruction, or heed the call of the prophets who warned them against their folly.

Behold: The Philistine giant stands boasting in the plain, and your mighty men hide in terror. Will you join the cowards, or will you be An Army Of Davids?

Fortune favors the bold, and two years ago I’d never even heard of Kathy Shaidle. But look how she stands defiantly against the Canadian Goliath! To borrow a phrase from T. Coddington Van Voorhees VII, I like the cut of her jib.

“One of the basic principles of military strategy is to reinforce success. If you see a man who fights and wins, give him reinforcements, and bid others to emulate his success.”

WOLVERINES!

(And in case you’re wondering, this is just my morning workout. I’m warming up for a few things I have to say to a certain liberal later today. Did you know that the annual tuition at the prestigious Dalton School is $33,100?)

UPDATE: Daley Gator:

Of course, Meghan brings this type of smackdown on herself by constantly bashing Conservatives. So, Meghan, before you whine about being called a “dirty Moderate” remember that if you dish it out, you best be ready to take it.

Bingo. When you talk about me behind my back, when you insult me, when you pretend to be my friend just so you can get close enough to sucker-punch me and then kick me when I’m down, don’t complain when I come back on you like Sonny Corleone on Carlo.

And if you are going to offer yourself as the exemplar of young Republican womanhood, presuming to tell us that conservatives “don’t understand sex,” you have (a) invited me to point out that my Republican sources describe you as an alcoholic slut, and (b) forfeited any claim to the defense of chivalry by claiming to speak on behalf of women who, unlike yourself, are decent and honorable.

UPDATE II: I’ve deleted a few very sharp remarks directed at commenter Phil, who e-mailed to inform me of his identity, and with whom I had previously had friendly communication. My e-mail reply to Phil:

Just approved your latest comment, but for obvious reasons did not approve the one in which you gave your phone number. I do not shout idiocies — “Muslim!” “Terrorist!” — at campaign rallies, and am not responsible for those who do.
Even if you are among those who blame Sarah Palin for such outbursts (and I do not), the fact is that Steve Schmidt counseled McCain to choose Palin for the simple reason that, without the kind of surge of pro-life conservative enthusiasm she generated, he never stood at chance. Had I been consulted as to how to handle Palin’s media, and if McCain hadn’t heeded the idiotic Holtz-Eakin’s advice to support the bailout, perhaps it might even have been close on Nov. 5.
These are mere hypotheticals, however. If any Republican had ever listened to me, Mitt never would have dropped out in February, no conservative would ever have supported Mike Huckabee, and the Bush White House wouldn’t have gone within a country mile of the McCain-Kennedy “shamnesty” bill. My advice has never been sought by any influential Republican, and when I volunteer advice, I am ignored.
All of which is to say, Phil, that if you are seeking some forum in which to discuss the tone and content of the GOP message, there’s no point trying to argue it out in my comment fields, because no one of any significance will ever see it there. If I had realized it was you commenting as anonymous “Phil,” I’d have told you this directly, rather than taking it to you on the blog. I already have more Republican enemies than even Obama might ever hope for, and I certainly don’t want to make an enemy of you.
Am I “mean-spirited”? You might be mean-spirited, too, if you ever tried to walk a mile in my shoes. But please pay attention to my choice of targets, and remember what I’ve told others: Just because you don’t know what I’m doing, don’t assume that I don’t know what I’m doing.
Your friend,
Robert Stacy McCain

My apologies for the previous error. I can be quick to anger, but am never slow to forgive, as Matthew Yglesias may have been surprised to learn.

May 8, 2009

Dear Meghan

As if your father hadn’t already done enough to associate the family name with the word LOSER, it seems you’re determined to finish the job:

There’s an especially unhealthy attitude among conservatives. Daughters of Republican politicians aren’t expected to have sex, let alone enjoy it — as if there were some strange chastity belt automatically attached to us female offspring.

No, that expectation is only for you, Meghan, because no one could stand the mental image of you naked. That’s why — and you might have noticed this — your “romantic” encounters tend to begin with a guy saying, “Wow, last call already?”

Hat-tip: Laura. And dibs on the “Meghan McCain naked” Google-bomb. (Hey, Allah hates me. A guy’s got to do something to gin up traffic. Dibs on “Meghan McCain gin,” too.)

May 8, 2009

Allah hates me

He really, really hates me. I don’t even want to begin to explain. If I wasn’t sitting here suffering slow death by conjunctivitis, I might explain. But the dude hates me, and I’ve never even met him.

I’m going back to bed.

(Maybe he’s speedophobic?)

UPDATE: Laura loves me! Pundette loves me! Matthew Yglesias . . . no, wait, he went to Harvard.

UPDATE II: Troglopundit loves . . . cute little bunnies?