Archive for May 10th, 2009

May 10, 2009

‘Sleazy tabloid accusations . . .’

. . . have a predictable way of proving true:

When a person’s image is a commodity — as was the case with John Edwards, the millionaire of humble origins whose family life supposedly kept him grounded — the ideas of privacy and good taste become part of the marketing effort. The tabloids, rude and prying, are able to break through such images to the truth behind them in ways the conventional media cannot. . . .
“False, absolute nonsense,” an Edwards spokesperson told the Enquirer at the beginning of the Edwards-affair affair in October 2007, while the candidate was still working the heartland on his way to a second-place finish, ahead of Hillary Clinton, in the Iowa caucuses. Against that blanket denial, the paper cited “a source close to the woman” and “one bombshell e-mail message” to support what it called a “shocking allegation — if proven true.”

As previously noted, newspapers were generally more successful when they were more tabloid-ish, and before they gave op-ed space to dishonest twits like Frank Rich.

May 10, 2009

New video from Mary Katharine Spam

No relation to any other girls named Mary Katharine. Or at least not that we know of, anyways.

That was sent to me by a Canadian Who Shall Remain Nameless, for fear of provoking reprisals.

May 10, 2009

Brit Army Lasses Preggers in Iraq!

Sort of a Fleet Street headline for this story from the Daily Star:

At least 133 Brit servicewomen have been sent home from Afghanistan and Iraq after getting pregnant.
The Daily Star Sunday has learned 102 of Our Girls returned early from Iraq between January 1, 2003 and February 28 of this year because they were expecting. And at least 31 female squaddies were fl own home from Afghanistan for the same reason.
Of those, 50 returned early from Iraq or Afghanistan between April 1, 2007 and February 28, 2009.
A total of 5,600 women have been sent to war so far and the Ministry of Defence admitted there may be even more cases which have not been recorded.

Shocker! Send women to war and they’ll be women, not warriors. And lads will be lads, after all . . .

May 10, 2009

Fear, Loathing and Smitty in Las Vegas

“We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold . . .”
Hunter S. Thompson,
Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas

The photo above was one of several that arrived yesterday in a brown manilla envelope with no return address, accompanied by a cryptic note assembled by some maniac who had cut letters out of magazines and pasted them together to create a message so disgustingly obscene that even I would not reprint it here.

No matter what this anonymous extortionist claims, I refuse to believe that my dear friend Smitty could have engaged in the repulsive acts portrayed by these photographs. As far as I’m aware, for example, there are no teenage Ukrainian albino prostitutes employed in Nevada. Even if there are, I sincerely doubt there could be two of them — identical twins at that and, to judge from the astonishing variety of poses, double-jointed bisexual acrobats who’ve spent years studying the Kama Sutra.

However, if these lurid scenes are genuine, Smitty is either racing toward the Mexican border or headed for a long spell in a federal penitentiary. He has no alibi, because everyone knows he spent the past week in Las Vegas, a place notorious for its decadent hedonism. Certainly I cannot be held accountable because, so far as I knew, he was merely going on holiday with his German in-laws. Granted, one occasionally hears bizarre rumors about elderly German tourists, but . . .

Forgeries or felonies, the photos were certainly interesting, although fearing an inquiry by the Postmaster General’s office — some kind of sting operation? — I immediately destroyed all of them except the one relatively safe picture I scanned in and displayed at the top of this post. That is obviously Smitty at the right side of the photo. I’d recognize the bowtie anywhere, but . . . who is that woman on the left?

Little Miss Attila? Well, certainly some of the tales Matthew Vadum told of their CPAC escapades two years ago might lead me to believe she could do such things. And she does live in L.A., a reasonable driving distance from Vegas, assuming you have a radar detector and you’re driving one of those big Chevy convertibles with a powerful V-8 engine.

For a few minutes, I stared at the photo while smoking a bowl of Kashmir’s finest and decided no, it couldn’t be Attila. Too tall. Which also rules out Cynthia Yockey who was, after all, still in Baltimore so far as anyone knew.

Who could she be? And then it hit me.

One of the photos I’d burned immediately after receiving the package had depicted Smitty participating in altogether despicable behavior with a certain breed of domesticated livestock.

Sheep? No Sheeples? Oh, Carol, you temptress . . .

May 10, 2009

Just call me Lucas, ma’am

A post about “cowboy values” at The American Thinker inspires Pundette to muse at the Hot Air Green Room:

So mamas, go git yurself some Westerns fur yur young ‘uns to watch this weekend. Ah’m right parshull to the television series The Rifleman. In addition to the qualities above, Lucas McCain and the folks in North Fork believe in personal responsibility, risk-taking, hard work, and no cussin’ in front of the womenfolk.

Ah, The Rifleman! Arguably (and yes, I know this will inspire fierce arguments from fans of “Gunsmoke”) the best television Western ever. It debuted the year before I was born, ran for five seasons, played in re-runs forever, and the delightful coincidence of the protagonist’s surname meant that I spent years answering to, “Hey, Lucas!”

For those too young to remember, here is the famous opening sequence, followed by the closing credits:

Like other frontier icons of that era — Fess Parker as Davy Crockett, for example — Lucas McCain was an ideal role model, a paragon of virtue. His actions were always just. His words were always wise. And the Rifleman was utterly fearless.

Manly courage was the essence of Lucas McCain. It didn’t matter how numerous the bad guys were, Lucas was never going to be intimidated. Why? Because he knew he was fighting on the side of right.

Lucas McCain was always the friend of the helpless, always a defender of the weak, always the righteous avenger of those done wrong by the selfish and vicious. And the series took pains to show that Lucas was, by nature, peaceful and amiable. He had a cheerful sense of humor, and could always smile at the mischief of his boy, Mark. There was a poignant nostalgia in his heart for his late wife.

That Lucas was a widower — a key scriptwriter’s convenience he shared with many another fatherly protagonist of the 1950s and ’60s — allowed for the development of romantic subplots. There frequently seemed to be some lovestruck schoolmarm in need of rescue, and you could be sure that in his conduct toward her, Lucas McCain would be impeccably honorable, the embodiment of medieval courtliness transposed to the rustic terms of the 19th-century American frontier.

He was loved by women because Lucas was a man’s man. This aspect of the Rifleman’s character expresses a great truth that I would advise any young man to contemplate: If you wish to be admired by women, conduct yourself in such a way as to win the respect of men.

You will always notice that the man who is genuinely popular with women is not a selfish, dishonest, cowardly loner, but is the sort of frank, generous and cheerful comrade who is always a welcome companion to his fellow man. He is a team player, always ready in the hour of crisis, and modest enough not to care whether he receives public credit for his good deeds. He does what is right because it is right, confident that his true merit will be known among those courageous souls who shared the burden of his labors.

Lucas McCain was not a show-off, not a braggart, not a bully. He never lied, he never quit. His quiet confidence inspired others to hope that humble virtue must ultimately triumph over arrogant evil. He never started a fight, and always sought to avert violence, so long as it could be averted without dishonor or injustice. But when it was time to fight, he was never afraid, and when the fight was over, the bad guys were always vanquished. The good, the true and the right were vindicated. And Lucas was standing tall.

Which is to say, he was not remotely like David Brooks.

Having just completed the celebration of National Offend A Feminist Week, I should point out that I often fall woefully short of the high mark set by Lucas McCain. Yet I alway know where the mark is set, you see.

Therefore, I agree wholeheartedly with Pundette. If you want your sons or grandsons to have a role model of old-fashioned manly virtue, The Rifleman is the man for the job.

May 10, 2009

Rule 5 Sunday

by Smitty
Welcome back to another episode of Rule 5 Sunday, the most cheerful roundup of (cheese/beef)cake on the webbytubes, or somebody else gets a bailout. Submit links to Smitty for inclusion. And now to the post:

  • We’ll get things rolling with Three Beers Later. This comparatively recent blog features everything a knuckle-dragger could want. Beer: check. Feminist-offensive clip: check. Great blog intro, Sarah Palin, Carrie Prejean: check, check, check. Dude, you rock. Additionally, the character in question may irritate Stacy into trotting out old Brooks Rossington Frumdreher III, whose absinthe is enough to drive one to distraction.
  • Bob’s Bar and Grill picks up about the only thing Three Beers Later omitted: Milla Jovovich with cannons.
  • And if Milla isn’t enough, the Kuru Lounge has Sienna Miller as the Baroness. Kuru ups the ante with an Ewa Sonnet clip. Life is beachy-keen.
  • Monique Stewart trades iron for fashion with Rachel McAdams, which is not such a bad deal. Monique was also getting her Columbo on WRT Carrie Prejean:

    What bothers me about this story is, why would an aspiring Victoria’s Secret model without a chest take nude photos in her pursuit to become a Vicky’s Secret model? I mean, has she ever seen a VS model?

  • Pat in Shreveport calls in Condi Rice for the diplomatic take on Rule 5. Officially, she serves up the beefcake, as in this Steve McQueen example.
  • HuffPo had something about the next Cindy Crawford. Because we’re openminded about lefty blogs, and stuff.
  • You can see Jennifer Ellison on Rollerblades over at Freeberg’s blog. At least I think she’s on rollerblades. For some reason, his interest did not extend as far South as her footwear.
  • Jeffords ponders a Megan Fox/Scarlett Johansson imbroglio over handling “sex symbol” status. Me, I gave that up to be a Porch Manqué. The whole sex symbol thing involved too much math.
  • Paco contributes his signature silver screen enticements.
  • The Daily Gator babe is both far out and far East.
  • The cheeky Troglopundit contributes a smiley.
  • Carol at No Sheeples Here has some photoshop fun at my expense. For the record, I did spend $5 on gaming, but it was all pinball. Gambling involves too much math.
  • Pax Parabellum brings us to a somber conclusion about beauty contests in other societies.
  • And, finally, it’s Mother’s Day.

Quick, send more links to bring the buzz back to Smitty.

Update:

  • The Clever S.Logan proves the name by coaxing some unintended self-advertising from Mitt Romney. Nicely done.
  • Serr8d combines Rule 5 with a Star Trek review. I guess this means he liked it?

Update II:

  • We have a thoughtful, highbrow submission from the Skepticrats. Taste is such a moving target, no?
  • Serr8d points us to someone code-named Wyatt Earp, who has some Mother’s Day fare for consideration.
  • American Power points to Heidi Klum. Viva Mother’s Day!
  • HotMES contributes Goldie Hawn/Kate Hudson. It sounds as though they may be related.
May 10, 2009

DijonGate: What have we learned?

“I’m going to have a basic cheddar cheese burger, medium well, with mustard. . . . You got a spicy mustard or something like that, or a Dijon mustard, something like that?”
Barack Obama, May 5, 2009

“The reaction proved one thing I already knew: The cult of personality surrounding Obama is real. And many of the cultists are demented, dangerous or both.”
William Jacobson, May 8, 2009

Congratulations to Professor Jacobson. Traffic at his Legal Insurrection blog, which was about 37,000 visits in February, surged to more than 107,000 in just two days Thursday and Friday, because he dared to point out how dishonest news coverage has become.

The point was not that Obama likes Dijon mustard — I do, too, as does the man who named it “DijonGate” — but rather that MSNBC and other major media are no longer in the news business. They’re doing public relations for the Obama administration and the Democratic Party.

What was the purpose of Obama and Joe Biden going to Ray’s Hell-Burger in Arlington, Va.? It was a photo-op, to show O and Joe bein’ Regular Guys, standin’ in line, eatin’ some burgers.

Obviously, reporters didn’t think “Dijon mustard” fit the narrative the White House wanted, and so they fudged the quote — and NBC even edited its own video — to omit the offensive French phrase. Jacobson pointed this out, and it was like showing a Rorshach inkblot to Charles Manson.

Obama Mustard Attack Becomes Full-Blown Right-Wing Talking Point
Huffington Post

Ivy League Professor Wingnut Pens Masterpiece About Dijon Mustard
Wonkette

Dijon Derangement Syndrome: Conservative media attack Obama for burger order
Media Matters

Why was the reaction so hideously overblown? Gateway Pundit, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham and others were just doing the same thing they did with John Kerry’s ill-fated wind-surfing vacation or any number of other incidents in which prominent Democrats act in ways that conflict with their populist rhetoric.

A burger at Ray’s Hell-Burger costs $6.95, so lunch at the Arlington restaurant isn’t exactly the value menu at Mickey D’s. If the White House believed they could show Obama as a Regular Guy by having him eat at a place where the burgers are seven bucks, maybe they need to work on their definition of populism.

Jacobson’s posts, however, pointed out how news organizations were actively involved in the image-shaping function of the Obama P.R. machine. It would be like learning that Fox News provided the “Mission Accomplished” banner at Bush’s famous 2003 aircraft-carrier event.

Exposure of the media role in the Obama phenomenon is what the Left fears most because, at some level, they understand that if the press were ever to report honestly on what the Democrats are doing, the game would change. So the Obama cultists, accustomed to only fawning coverage of their Leader, react with fury when the fawning coverage is demonstrated to be dishonest.

Obama’s high level of public support is largely a product of his positive image the media have crafted. “DijonGate” exposed how this image-making role is played. And therefore William Jacobson is denounced as a “wing-nut” pushing “right-wing talking points.”

Of course, there are no “left-wing talking points,” and if you dare suggest that Media Matters and Huffington Post are participating in an orchestrated propaganda effort — perhaps organized by Astroturf king David Axelrod — this only proves you are a “wing nut.”

UPDATE: Welcome, Instapundit readers! My second ‘Lanche this weekend. I suspect Professor Reynolds was watching what I was watching — Ross Douthat doing “Q&A” on C-SPAN — and thought to himself, “If I don’t hit him now, there’ll be another raving manic e-mail at 4 a.m.”

Damned callow pretentious Harvard boy prattling on about Chesterton and Christopher Lasch and skinny-dipping with Buckley . . . well, never mind all that now. The raven’s calling your name, Douthat!

UPDATE II: Paco quotes . . . Lionel Trilling? What the hell? Has everybody gone all Douthat on me? “As Jeanne Kirkpatrick once said to Daniel Patrick Moynihan . . . .”

Barack Obama dildo. And what would Jeanne Kirkpatrick have to say about that, huh?

UPDATE III: Hey, remember when John Edwards was the liberal media’s idol?

UPDATE IV: The Left won’t let it go, will they?

May 10, 2009

The Sambo Progressives

Why does TBogg get away with using a Sambo image? It’s a question Donald Douglas is asking:

I’ve long documented the most vile bigotry and racism on the left end of the dial. During the 2008 primaries, we witnessed some of the most disgusting racism and sexism in decades. And across the blogosphere, the most reprehensible racial slurs and bigoted attacks on conservatives are considered fair game, penetrating social “commentary,” and biting “satire.”

You should go read the whole thing. The Left gets away with it, of course, because (a) they control the means of cultural production, (b) they claim to speak on the behalf of the designated victims, and (c) by defining their politics as synonymous with virtue, therefore they cannot be guilty of any vice.

May 10, 2009

Happy Mother’s Day, Hot Mama!

OK, I’ve become notorious for that old Speedo photo, but brother let me tell you, Mrs. Other McCain could rock a swimuit back in the day:

That’s at our apartment swimming pool, from the summer of 1990, when she was 26 and already a mother of one. Here’s another photo from a year later:

In the background, you see the ruins of the New Manchester mill at Sweetwater Creek State Park in my hometown of Lithia Springs, Ga. And in the foreground, well . . . ain’t she sexy? One more:

That’s last summer at a Hagerstown Suns baseball game, with youngest daughter Reagan. Being adorable is a genetic hereditary condition. And you should hit the tip jar.

* * * * *

BTW, having crossed the million-hits threshold on Feb. 13, we topped 1.5 million yesterday, so we’re on track to clear 2 million by Labor Day. But I gotta up my game, or William Jacobson will beat me to it. Who could ever have imagined that “DijonGate” would be more controversial than “Carrie Prejean nude” or “Marie Osmond’s lesbian daughter“?

It’s a dog-eat-dog world on the Internet . . . and it’s Rule 5 Sunday!

May 10, 2009

Aloha Akbar!

Brilliant Photoshop by Carol at No Sheeples Here, who explains the story. (H/T: Troglopundit.)