John Hawkins, take that back!

John Hawkins lists the 10 Hottest Liberal Women in Politics, with Kirsten Powers at No. 1, an insult to my girl, Chelsea Clinton, who ranked a mere fourth.

This derogation of Chelsea was compounded by his ranking Jessica Valenti (!) as No. 2.

Look, John, I’ve met Chelsea Clinton. Chelsea Clinton told me my sons were “cute.” She even signed an autograph for them! And . . . well, does the phrase “much back” mean anything to you? (Me and Sir Mix-a-Lot like it like that.)

I’m not going to argue much about Kirsten Powers, even though I’ve met Kirsten. She’s pretty, but not . . . well, she’s nowhere near as alluring as Chelsea. (Such eyes! Such a smile! And a lovely complexion, too.) But I suppose if you go for that fake-blonde thing, and you are near-sighted, you might prefer Kirsten to Chelsea.

De gustibus non disputam. But . . . Jessica Freaking Valenti? Oh, John, don’t say that. Don’t ever say that.

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