Archive for June 17th, 2009

June 17, 2009

IG-Gate: ‘Senior administration officials’

The AmeriCorps IG scandal is the sort of Nixonian evil that sends people to prison prison. The more you learn, the uglier it looks. As Quin Hillyer says, it’s as sleazy and cruel as TravelGate in the Clinton administration.

Political bloggers are understandably enraged. And the fact that the MSM hasn’t gone wall-to-wall on the scandal is a scandal in its own right. Beyond the matter of bias, the problem is getting MSM reporters and editors to take the scandal seriously. Their excuse of not giving it more coverage is likely to be: “Who cares about the inspector general in a relatively minor government agency?”

OK, so who cared about Valerie Plame?

The basic scandal of Gerald Walpin’s firing is simple to understand and explain: Political payback against a whistleblower whose investigations of corruption threatened allies of the Obama administration. As Michelle Malkin explains, what Walpin exposed were some of those classic “your tax dollars at work” outrages that all good citizens despise:

The first taxpayer-subsidized program is the Teaching Fellows Program, run by the Research Foundation of the City University of New York. Walpin’s audit . . . uncovered a multitude of grant violations, including criminal background check lapses and “pervasive problems of eligibility, timekeeping and documentation.” . . .
The second program Walpin challenged is the nonprofit St. HOPE Academy, run by Obama supporter Kevin Johnson, the Democratic mayor of Sacramento. . . . Johnson and his deputy, Dana Gonzalez . . . exploited nearly $900,000 in AmeriCorps funding for personal and political gain. . . .
Shortly after [Walpin’s report on the Sacramento scandal] the White House announced that it had “lost confidence” in Walpin. . . .

Read the whole thing. The Obama administration appears to be engaged in a cover-up and, as all veteran Washington scandal-watchers know, “it’s not the crime, it’s the cover-up” that leads to disaster.

This has all the makings of a huge scandal. Reporters who ignore it now will soon be wishing they’d jumped on the story from the get-go.

Once people on Capitol Hill start asking questions, once a federal grand jury is convened and the FBI begins investigating, every lie becomes a federal crime. White House officials are slandering Walpin with demonstrable lies, but once the FBI shows up, once you’re called before a federal grand jury, you’ll tell the truth or go to prison.

So just in case any “senior administration officials” are reading this: Watch your back, buddy.

Who will take the fall for IG-Gate, my “senior administration offiical” friend? There’s going to be at least one scapegoat sacrificed to protect Obama and Rahm Emanuel and the Chicago gang. Better watch out, or soon some of your fellow “senior administration officials” will start leaking your name to their buddies in the press corps.

Next think you know, some member of Congress will be asking “what did you know and when did you know it.” Then the grand jury, then the trial, then the handcuffs and the orange jumpsuit. Ah, the rewards of loyalty in Washington!

A word of advice, “senior administration official”: You’re dealing with Chicago Democrats, so you may not live long enough to make it to prison. If anybody asks you to meet them at Fort Marcy Park, your best bet is to go straight to the FBI, tell ’em everything, and try to cop a plea.

June 17, 2009

Conservatism and Conor-ism

Conor Friedersdorf, after bragging about his “Ideas” blog at The Atlantic Monthly, decides I need more lecturing about True Conservatism:

Efforts to ground a conversation about a political philosophy by referencing philosophers is mocked… and then other philosophers are invoked as better litmus tests. Worldly, nonreligious conservo-libertarians like me are told that we only think religious, Benedict-option-loving folks like Rod Dreher are conservatives because we define the movement according to the strands we like personally. Huh?
This is the kind of incoherence that results when your impetus for branding someone a heretic is that they criticized Mark Levin, or that they think the GOP’s current electoral strategy is incoherent, or that they wrote an item at The Huffington Post, or because they raise chickens in their backyard and assert that maybe there’s something troubling about corporate farms pumping antibiotics into featherless foul stuffed into tiny cages.

OK, let’s start with the chickens. Guess what’s in my backyard, Conor? A chicken coop, belonging to my 16-year-old son, James. Why is James raising chickens? The same reason he breeds pythons: For money. Oh, and guess what I ate for supper last night? A soy burger (Morningstar Farm Zesty Tomato Basil) on whole wheat bread. It was delicious.

If you don’t want to order Chicken McNuggets for lunch, that’s fine with me. But don’t confuse your critique of factory farming with a political philosophy, and don’t tell me that contempt for commerce is “conservative.”

Just before I saw Conor’s blog post this morning, I had a long phone conversation with Dan Riehl, another guy who has better things to do with his life than to climb into an ivory tower and sneer at the lowbrow plebians toiling down there in the grimy streets.

Dan sees this elitism as the essence of Conorism. I would assert that it is also the essence of Dreherism and Brooksianism and all these other boutique “conservatisms” that have cropped up like ideological weeds in recent years.

The ambitious conservative intellectual’s quest for status among those whom he regards as his peers requires that he distinguish himself from (a) mere partisan operatives, whose objective is to elect Republicans; (b) mere journalists, who observe and report; and above all (c) the stupid voters out in the sticks who make up the rank-and-file grassroots of the conservative movement.

It is ambition, not ideology or ability, that distinguishes the elitists from the rest of us. The elitists crave above all else to be acknowledged as worthy of inclusion in the ranks of society’s Platonic archons, to be influential, to be introduced at seminars with a listing of all the prestigious publications they’ve written for, et cetera. “The Distinguished Senior Fellow at . . .”

It’s a scam, a racket, a hustle. And the dirty little secret of this particular game of three-card monte is the pretense that it is actually about ideas, as if his complex abstractions and elaborate verbal constructs — “Worldly, nonreligious conservo-libertarians” — were meaningful things worth fighting over. (Note how Conor modestly appropriates “worldly” to describe himself. Yeah, it’s all that secular street cred, like he’s rollin’ with the Rothbardian Crips.)

To hustle the suckers with his intellectual scam, Conor Friedersdorf must maintain the illusion that he is a distinterested philosopher in pursuit of Truth with a capital T, as opposed to some grubby prole who writes for money.

“Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining.”

UPDATE: At the Hot Air Green Room:

By making “conservative” arguments for liberal policies, these treacherous elitists convey the message that conservatives are not really committed to opposing liberalism. So Democrats can ram through their agenda, and then the “conservative” intellectuals will join the Consensus Chorus telling us that this is a necessary “reform” which would be political suicide to attempt to repeal.

Read the rest.

June 17, 2009

Ann Coulter’s favorite lesbian

Today I was checking SiteMeter and noticed traffic from Ann Coulter’s Web site, and when I checked:

June 17, 2009, 1:50 AM
Cynthia Yockey’s Campaign to get David Letterman Fired
Dave has pissed off the wrong lesbian
Crowds Line Up to Protest “Pervert” David Letterman in New York
Your handy ‘Fire David Letterman’ Kit, Part Two

So now Cynthia can claim the title of Ann Coulter’s favorite lesbian. Hey, I’m already Ann’s favorite McCain.

And speaking of pissed-off people . . .

June 17, 2009

Dear Angry Gay Democrats

I used to be like you — which is to say, I was once an angry Democrat, too.

“Born that way,” you might say. Well, I wasn’t born angry, but I was born a Democrat. Hard-core yellow-dog Democrat, too. I voted for Mondale, for crying out loud.

The Democrats paid me back the same way they always pay back their most loyal constituents: Those two-faced weasels stabbed me in the back. (I mean, really, what part of “From My Cold Dead Hands” is so hard to understand?)

OK, so now you’ve been ripped off, sold out, and stabbed in the back by the Democrats. Join the club.

Did you know Ronald Reagan started out as a Democrat? By his own admission, the Gipper was once such a “bleeding heart” liberal that he unwittingly joined two Communist Party front groups in the 1940s.

So if this latest knife in the back from your Democratic “friends” is one betrayal too many, maybe you should consider becoming an ex-Democrat, too. I mean, if you want to raise millions of dollars for untrustworthy politicians who oppose gay marriage, the Republican Party would certainly welcome your support.

I’m just sayin’ . . .

UPDATE: Some of you angry gay Democrats are probably asking, “But what’s in it for me?” Just because Republicans are never going to support your identity-politics agenda doesn’t mean they don’t have anything to offer you.

For example, think of the delicious fun of payback politics, evening the score with those Democrat bastards who sold you out. How do you think Cynthia Yockey became Ann Coulter’s favorite lesbian?

UPDATE II: Welcome once more, Instapundit readers! Just to clarify: I’m a married father of six with 20 years of monogamy to my credit, so the only person feeling my pain for the past two decades is Mrs. Other McCain. And despite the Speedo-filling studliness, don’t believe those porn-star rumors . . . LIES! ALL LIES!

On the other hand, some traits are hereditary and who knows what Other McCain Jr. has been up to . . .

UPDATE III: Little Miss Attila’s right: The GOP’s “incompetent half the time, but not truly evil.” Hmmm. Exactly what Mrs. Other McCain says about me . . .

June 17, 2009

Thoughts on humor, in reply to Steven Crowder

by Smitty

Steven Crowder has done some excellent videos on PJTV and elsewhere. He has a blog post on Big Hollywood where he muses that Republicans Need to Grow a Sense of Humor.
Crowder specifically cites three incidents,

  • BHO’s Special Olympics comment on Leno
  • Wanda Sykes’ Correspondence Dinner Shtick about Rush and kidney failure
  • Letterman

He concludes:

I’m sorry “fellow Republicans”… But when will we get a clue? Before Reagan, we were seen as the party that couldn’t take a joke. The Gipper fixed that one for us. Now, however, because of silly Conservatives using political correctness as a fulcrum for political gain, we find ourselves right back at square one.
One of my goals in life is to watch political correctness shrivel up and die (as it should be for any true Conservative). I can’t do that however, if Republicans insist on resuscitating it back to life every time they want to act “offended.” Do we really want to be the person at the party around which everyone has to tiptoe around for fear of offending our sensibilities? Come on… We’re not supposed to be “that guy.” Leave that kind of crap to the Sean Penn pansies of the world.

I can track Crowder’s point a short distance. There is a point about avoiding being a broken record, belaboring points, and majoring on minors.
Once upon a time I at a retreat, the attendees were assigned to create sketch comedy poking fun at the organizers. The wise old fellow in charge of my cabin laid down some ground rules about comedy that stuck:

  • Bodily functions are not funny. We all have them, we know what they are.
  • Real humor is not sarcasm (‘to tear flesh’). Humor is positive. Sykes and Lettermain fail it.
  • Humor is universal. If the humor isn’t safe for work (grandma, school, house of worship), it’s probably not funny.
  • Humor educates, unifies, and triggers real communication between people. If you’re raising hackles, it’s not funny.
  • Then there is the Monty Python with the slapstick:

So, Mr. Crowder, should we laugh at the examples you cite? I’ll meet you halfway and allow the so-called comedians in question should be ignored. The shrill reactionary shtick may not be buying much. Finally, it is true that taking oneself too seriously isn’t funny.

UPDATE (RSM): David Letterman disemboweled and beheaded on Broadwaythat would be funny!

June 17, 2009

Who will rid me of thisgap-toothed comedian?

The skies are raining Instalanches on bloggers who say David Letterman’s apology is not enough. The swinish pervert is starting to sweat, as he beholds the vengeful rage emerging among conservative bloggers.

The sarcastic Hoosier must suffer real punishment for dissing Sarah Palin and her daughters. Therefore . . .

Avenge her! We will not be satisfied merely to have David Letterman fired. No, that is not enough.

A mob of enraged Republicans will descend on the Ed Sullivan Theatre, lay hold of the brute, and drag him into the middle of Broadway. There, for all the world to see, we shall disembowel Letterman and, after he has died a painful and well-deserved death, we’ll lop off his head and parade it down to CBS headquarters.

Dogs shall lick his blood!

Who’s with me?

UPDATE: Chris Wysocki is part of the Not One Red Cent rebellion against the GOP Beltway elite, and he’s also down with the “Don’t F*** With Us” Coalition. I’ve suggested that Chris collaborate with Ann Coulter’s Favorite Lesbian to coordinate the bloodthirsty Republican mob attack on Letterman.

While it is always a mistake to signal a willingness to compromise in advance of a showdown, I think some of the squishy “moderates” in our midst might be satisfied with having Letterman shipped to Guantanamo for a few weeks of recreational waterboarding, administered by Todd Palin.