Dear Angry Gay Democrats

I used to be like you — which is to say, I was once an angry Democrat, too.

“Born that way,” you might say. Well, I wasn’t born angry, but I was born a Democrat. Hard-core yellow-dog Democrat, too. I voted for Mondale, for crying out loud.

The Democrats paid me back the same way they always pay back their most loyal constituents: Those two-faced weasels stabbed me in the back. (I mean, really, what part of “From My Cold Dead Hands” is so hard to understand?)

OK, so now you’ve been ripped off, sold out, and stabbed in the back by the Democrats. Join the club.

Did you know Ronald Reagan started out as a Democrat? By his own admission, the Gipper was once such a “bleeding heart” liberal that he unwittingly joined two Communist Party front groups in the 1940s.

So if this latest knife in the back from your Democratic “friends” is one betrayal too many, maybe you should consider becoming an ex-Democrat, too. I mean, if you want to raise millions of dollars for untrustworthy politicians who oppose gay marriage, the Republican Party would certainly welcome your support.

I’m just sayin’ . . .

UPDATE: Some of you angry gay Democrats are probably asking, “But what’s in it for me?” Just because Republicans are never going to support your identity-politics agenda doesn’t mean they don’t have anything to offer you.

For example, think of the delicious fun of payback politics, evening the score with those Democrat bastards who sold you out. How do you think Cynthia Yockey became Ann Coulter’s favorite lesbian?

UPDATE II: Welcome once more, Instapundit readers! Just to clarify: I’m a married father of six with 20 years of monogamy to my credit, so the only person feeling my pain for the past two decades is Mrs. Other McCain. And despite the Speedo-filling studliness, don’t believe those porn-star rumors . . . LIES! ALL LIES!

On the other hand, some traits are hereditary and who knows what Other McCain Jr. has been up to . . .

UPDATE III: Little Miss Attila’s right: The GOP’s “incompetent half the time, but not truly evil.” Hmmm. Exactly what Mrs. Other McCain says about me . . .

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