Archive for June 28th, 2009

June 28, 2009

Brazil 3, USA 2

Jimmie Bise was just Twittering a soccer game. As I explained to Jimmie, it’s hard for a kid raised on Crimson Tide football ever to get too excited about soccer. I’ll take soccer seriously just as soon as Brazil beats Penn State in the Sugar Bowl.

June 28, 2009

Catfight! Meghan McCain’s rackvs. the LOTUS With the Mostest

Given her Rule 5 qualities, the blonde-joke punchline has been defended by some of my commenters. Right-wing guys who covet a top position in her coalition, so to speak, complained about my snarkdown of Cousin Meghan’s twittering about her “5-foot-1 ass in a push up bra.”

Disturbing mental image, eh? Undisturbed, but perhaps in some sense mental, one buxom right-winger jumps on Meghan and twists her Tweets:

Clearly, Meghan McCain is at the forefront of the tit-tering movement. This is because her rack probably is her greatest contribution to the GOP.
Unfortunately for them, everyone knows that I’ve already declared myself to be the titular head of the conservative movement. Now if I could just master The Other McCain’s Rule 5, more people would know it.

Trust me, fellows. If more than a mouthful’s wasted, LOTUS is more wasteful than a banker with a billion bailout bucks. So if you want to stay abreast of the Vast Right Wing Conspiracy, she’s the LOTUS with the mostest. Read all her posts, because her conservative principles are real and they’re spectacular.

June 28, 2009

WHO IS SONIA AQUINO?

This is just one of the questions that every investigative journalist must ask himself today. What would cause one of America’s leading online communications strategists to publish a shocking expose of the Aquino scandal?

What is this Italian woman hiding? Does it involve a clandestine rendezvous with Barack Obama? A taxpayer-funded trip to Argentina by Mark Sanford? Was she aware of Michael Jackson’s drug habit? And the most important question of all . . .

What did Dan Collins know and when did he know it?

Uh, did I mention it’s Sunday?

June 28, 2009

Rule 5 Sunday

by Smitty

Look, I’m bummed out. No, it’s not that Hopium and Changeeba mean passing legislation that doesn’t exist. It’s not the celebrity demises. It’s that, after last Sunday’s success in finding someone for Conor Friedersdorf, there can never be a better Rule 5 post. It’s that sad and simple. But soldier on we must, using the pure cheer-up factor of simple, old-fashioned lovliness as a light to navigate these dark days.

  • Starting of with She Whom We Have Not Linked Enough, we have Shivaree, “Goodnight Moon”. Because you cannot go wrong with a sultry brunette. Thanks, Little Miss Attila.
  • I’m thinking that LMA may feel jealous about Paco’s Rule 5 submission, however. Totally Awesome! I’m beginning to suspect this fellow is the physical embodiment of IMDB, as he presents yet another trio of lovely memories.
  • For the ladies, a bunch of dudes in a whimsical guide to facial hair.
  • Freeberg at HoE has a nostalgic hotpants in stark black and white. He also has the fortitude to post Flo, the Progressive Insurance pitch lady. This is less extreme a call than a lizard fling with that other outfit. Or not. Discuss.
  • Pat doesn’t quite say it, but between the lines there seems to be a possibility of forsaking Shreveport for New Orleans. And, she was the first with a reasonably normal Michael Jackson post. Heaven rest an apparently tortured soul.
  • The Classical Liberal celebrates the tough and lovely Christina Applegate. I vaguely remember forgetting about the breast cancer. We’ll also remember Farrah Fawcett here, though no one submitted her classic 70’s pinup. Heaven rest her as well.
  • Three Beers Later posits a rule 5.5 (unsure if that’s followed by a % sign) which seems to cover cartoons, such as a swipe at David Letterman. Given that the Rule 5 Sunday regulation manual is as notional as those governing the antics of the 111th Congress (PBUI*), we’ll let ‘er slide. Later, TBL found a cheerleader video that is spot on.
  • Martina McBride, suggests Fisherville Mike. Tough material. Recalls Sting, Never Coming Home, sort of.
  • Jeffords suggests Jeri Ryan, but it’s really a lure into a thoughtful meditation on the week’s news from the South Carolinian standpoint.

Needing a Satriani moment to gather vigor to finish the post.

Joe exemplifies the Smith family saying: “It ain’t braggin’, if you can do it.”

That’s a wrap for now. Cheers, jeers, and updates to Smitty. I’d like to thank the academy, and RSM for a tiny bit of his celebrity blogger glow. And the tip jar.

*Pox Be Upon It

June 28, 2009

‘It takes a special kind of stupid . . .’

“. . . to be a Republican in an Obama administration,” says Three Beers Later, in reference to Rep. John McHugh (R-INO) who got himself nominated as Obama’s Army secretary in exchange for his “yes” vote on the energy tax.

Not One Red Cent for the Waxman-Markey Eight!

June 28, 2009

Jon Stewart and analogies

by Smitty (h/t No Quarter)

Jon Stewart (suddenly I feel even stupider for botching the spelling of Monique Stuart’s name) is a useful idiot par excellence.
One is nearly capable of admiring such a Soldier of Stupidity. He has demonized Bush and Cheney with the best of them. He has worshipped at the altar of Hopium and Changeeba like a champ. But he has the special, difficult task of making Pavarotti sound like P-Diddy to the young, thoughtless nitwit demographic.
If the task wasn’t so antithetical to the Constitution as understood by any sober reader, stuff like this would possibly be funny:

The only reason Nixon picked Spiro Agnew is that his name is an anagram for “grow a penis”.
Without that guy being a very funny distraction, Nixon has no time to do Watergate.

So, the SAT question/answer might read: Nixon and Agnew are to Watergate as Obama and Biden are to IG-gate?

June 28, 2009

Small RINO herd spotted

by Smitty

In shameless and well-researched obedience to Rule 1, the Left Coast Rebel has profiled the RINO herd that assumed the position for HR2454.
The real question is whether the RINO herd or Manbearpig is the greater threat to our economy and country. What if the RINOs are actually allied with Manbearpig?

Update:
Is the inverted pachyderm a secret Manbearpig symbol?

June 28, 2009

Couple o’ clips

by Smitty

Insty points to