Smitty’s worried sick over this

Just got off the phone with my co-blogger, who is heartbroken to discover that no one has any plan to do anything about the rampant police brutality in that notorious cauldron of racial hatred known as Cambridge, Massachusetts.

Smitty says we need to do something. Like maybe get together some people from places like Arkansas, South Carolina, Alabama and Mississippi, and put them on buses to go up there to Cambridge and teach those evil white racists a lesson.

“Liberty Passengers”? “Equality Commuters”? Don’t worry, we’ll think of something, but . . .

But we’re afraid if we did something like that, the wicked people up there in Cambridge might call us a bunch of self-righteous liberals, “outside agitators,” and meddling Communist sympathizers. And what about those brutal police in Cambridge?

Experts have warned us that even a Harvard professor has no rights in Massachusetts that a racist Cambridge cop is bound to respect . . .

UPDATE: Don’t worry, Jules Crittenden — we’re comin’ to save ya. We’ve even got us some classic folk songs, updated just for the occasion:

IF GATES HAD A LIMO
By Joan Baez
(In the key of self-righteousness)

If Gates had a limo,
He’d ride it in the mor-or-ning!
He’d ride it in the evening,
All over this land!
It’s a limo of freedom,
With a driver of justice,
It’s s limo ride beside
My brothers and my sisters,

All over this land . . .

Everybody sing along!

Henry dropped out of law school,
But Yale hired him anyway,
Then he went on to Cornell and
Duke U-ni-vers-it-y!
Now he’s teaching at Harvard!
And he’s teaching with tenure!
And he’s riding in a
Limousine, with words obscene
For you motherf***ing honkies
All over this land . . .

OK, next time, let’s get more cowbell . . .

Well, he broke out a window,
Then his neighbors called the police.
And when they showed up, Skip said,
“Don’t you know who I am?
“I’ve got tenure at Harvard!
“And I’m riding in limo!
“You’re just hassling the black man
“Because you can, you g–d—
“Honky motherf—ers,
“All over this land!”

Well, they put him in handcuffs
And they booked him for
Dis-or-der-ly.
Then Obama took a
Question from
Axelrod’s friend, Lynn Sweet.
And he said, “Skip’s a victim!
“And the cops did something stupid!”
Just to agitate the hate
For honky motherf—ers
All over this land!

Next, we’ll sing, “Gates Shall Overcome” . . .

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: