Archive for ‘britney spears’

March 25, 2009

Britney Spears, topless

That’s the Rule 5 illustration at Monique Stuart’s blog post about the Obama propaganda machine. Because Monique was “out most of the night” with her girlfriend at a Britney Spears concert. NTTAWWT. And since this is Sexy Picture Night, here’s a couple of sexy people:

Mr. & Mrs. Frequent Commenter Smitty, at Rock It Grill in Old Town Alexandria, where Smitty rocked the house with some Jimmy Buffett. A short excerpt of the conversation:

ME: So, she’s from Germany, huh?
SMITTY: Yeah, she came over in 2004.
ME: Cool. (To Mrs. Smitty) Better watch it. If you don’t do right, he’ll have you deported.
SMITTY: Too late for that. She’s got a U.S. passport.
ME: Chump.

OK, I wasn’t taking notes, so I can’t swear that this is an exact transcript. Also, I can neither confirm nor deny the rumor that Smitty’s wife was fondling my knee under the table. It might have been Smitty himself, for all I know . . .

Earlier Tuesday, I covered a conference and subsequently hoovered up the hors d’ouervres at a reception, where I got still more sexy photos:

Now, the lovely lady in this photo is one of the most enthusiastic conservative philanthropists in D.C., and I think you see why: By giving generously to conservative causes, she gets the chance to meet and mingle with some of the hottest young Republican guys in town, like this fellow with the scotch-on-the-rocks. And ladies, he’s available!

Yes, lady blog-readers, that’s right: Mr. V, as we shall call him, is single, successful and Republican. He is Catholic, holds a law degree, and is looking for a girl who is — and I quote Mr. V himself — “future First Lady material.”

Want to hear more? Of course you do. Mr. V is 27, Italian on his father’s side, Jewish on his mother’s side, has a muscular physique and is 5-foot-8.

ME: So, you’re looking for a girl maybe 5-3, 5-4?
MR. V: A little taller than that, maybe 5-6.
ME: Ah . . . .[snip]
MR. V: Not taller than me, but not too short. . . . Well, 5-4 would be OK, I guess.

So, there you have it, ladies. If you’re an unmarried Republican gal of exceptional moral character (and smokin’ hotness), if you are between 5-foot-4 and 5-foot-6 tall, if you dream of being First Lady to the first Italian-Jewish President of the United States, then just leave a comment, and we’ll try to hook you up. Because Mr. V is obviously so popular with the ladies . . .

Hey, what about Michelle Lee Muccio? Oh, that’s right. I forgot. I introduced them at CPAC:

Michelle’s got to be at least 5-7, so Mr. V’s probably not interested. Which means he’s still fair game, ladies.

UPDATE: Apparently, Eric Cantor thought the Britney Spears concert was more important than the Obama press conference. Good call, I say!

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November 29, 2008

Britney uber Deutschland

There’s a lot of dancing in that act, but Britney’s not doing much of it.

November 9, 2008

Hurricane Britney hits Louisiana

Been neglecting the celebrity news lately, but here’s something interesting:

Britney Spears arrived Friday in Louisiana with her sons for a family visit to her hometown in Kentwood.
It was the first time the 26-year-old singer was allowed to take Preston, 3, and Jayden, 2, out of California since losing all custody rights earlier this year to ex-husband Kevin Federline.
“This is a terrific indication of the progress she’s made, and the growing trust between the two parents,” says a source close to Spears. “It was arranged cooperatively between Kevin and the lawyers.”
Reports that Britney spent Saturday night passed out drunk in a trailer park could not be confirmed.

Maybe I made up that last part.

November 2, 2008

Britney’s ‘Circus’

Her new album:

October 11, 2008

Video: Britney Spears ‘Womanizer’

October 10, 2008

Britney, you’re half-right

“I sit there and I’ll look back and I’m like: I’m a smart person. What the hell was I thinking?”
Britney Spears, in an MTV interview

Sweetheart, stupid is as stupid does. Marrying a no-talent loser like Kevin Federline? Stupid. Running around with no panties and flashing the paparazzi? Stupid. Shaving your head? Stupid. Losing custody of your kids? Stupid.

Your stupid actions clearly contradict your assertion that you’re a smart person. In fact, your actions are so stupid that even stupid people can only shake their heads in agreement with the other half of your quote: What the hell was she thinking?

October 5, 2008

Britney: No sex for 6 months!

Interrupting her ongoing project to sleep with every sleazy lowlife on the planet:

Britney Spears’ parents have reportedly slapped a six-month sex ban on their daughter to prevent any bumps in the road on her way back to the top.
Fiercely protective Jamie and Lynne Spears feel that Britney’s downfall was linked to the men in her life and want their daughter to refrain from any male contact for a while.
With two failed marriages, a relationship with paparazzo Adnan Ghalib and reports of a supposed sex tape, the troubled star’s questionable taste in men has often come back to haunt her.

Scummy guys should take a number and stand in line, because when April rolls around, Britney will be ready to make up for lost time.

Remember: When in doubt, blog about Britney!

UPDATE: Or Lindsey Lohan who, despite being a lesbian, nevertheless wants to be a mom.

September 8, 2008

Britney trashed by mom

Of course, she was trash to begin with:

TROUBLED BRITNEY SPEARS began boozing aged 13, lost her virginity at 14, then started taking drugs at 15, according to a shocking tell-all book by her mum.
Wild child Britney allegedly first hit the bottle after joining Disney’s squeaky-clean Mickey Mouse Club.
Mum LYNNE claims 14-year-old Britney then had sex with an 18-year-old high school footballer soon after she quit the TV show.
And she had her first taste of drugs at 15 when she went to Los Angeles to record her debut album Baby One More Time. …
Lynne’s book reportedly tells of her horror when Britney, still just 16, was caught with cocaine and cannabis on a private jet.

(Via Conservative Grapevine.) Wow, Britney’s teenage years were almost as wild as my teenage years. And the nastiest revelation of all? (Via I Don’t Like You In That Way.) Britney lipsyncs her live performances:

July 29, 2008

Who’s that chick?

In the white bikini at Cabo? Hint: Not looking too shabby for a divorced mother of two who just lost custody of her kids to her former backup dancer.

Getting frisky with some dude sporting what looks like a jailhouse tattoo on his back. The Brits call him a “mystery man.” Who is he? A nobody — I mean, only a nobody would want to be seen with that skanky trash nowadays. Maybe you recognize him from “COPS.”

Well, whoever that tattoo-sporting nobody is, I’ve got one word of advice for him: Disinfectant.