Archive for ‘celebrities’

July 7, 2009

Michael Jackson died like he lived

Like a punk.

Let’s face it, people: He did not die like Tupac or Biggie. He didn’t die like Sam Cooke. Michael Jackson’s death is not a “tragedy,” as the idiots on TV insist on calling it.

He died like a plastic-surgery addled pedophile freak. He orchestrated a sham wedding with a foul-mouthed slattern whom he paid to bear test-tube children biologically unrelated to either of them. He built a bizarro fantasyland home and used it to attract the little boys he molested. He wasted gazillions of dollars on shopping sprees that would make Liberace blush, and died bankrupt.

He is unworthy of remembrance, and anyone sucked into this televised vortex of fake mourning is a fool.

Also, my traffic has been down ever since this mawkish memorial service began, and I can’t forgive that.

UPDATE 2:40 p.m.: Brooke Shield is now getting goopy on live TV. What a waste.

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June 9, 2009

Megan Fox, you ignorant slut

It breaks my heart:

The “Transformers” bombshell-cum-uninhibited philosophizer also contemplates — reluctantly — what she would say to Megatron to keep him from destroying the world. “I’d barter with him,” she muses to the July issue Total Film UK, “and say instead of the entire planet, can you just take out all of the white trash, hillbilly, anti-gay, super bible-beating people in Middle America?”

Via Hot Air, where Allahpundit has thoughts. Me? It totally kills the buzz. Liberalism is the anti-hot.

May 7, 2009

Marie Osmond’s lesbian daughter?

While searching the news for the latest Carrie Prejean developments, I just happened to come across a story that one of Marie Osmond’s daughters is a lesbian. Can you guess which one?

Most of you guys probably guessed wrong, according to this story that reports Marie is supporting same-sex marriage in California.

Some background: Three years ago, Marie went on a crusade for Internet decency after reading her daugthers’ MySpace pages. Daughter Jessica, then 18, described herself on MySpace as a bisexual who craved sex “as many times as possible,” while daughter Rachael, then 16, described herself as a “slut” and a “whore.”

According to the latest news, Jessica has since kissed “bi” bye-bye and is now playing full-time for the other team. But cheer up, guys: You still have a shot at the self-described “slut”/”whore.”

Just quoting what others have reported. Nothing to do with National Offend A Feminist Week. Honest.

May 5, 2009

CARRIE PREJEAN NUDE PIC SCANDAL

UPDATE TUESDAY 5/12, 10:50 a.m.: TMZ has new topless photos of Carrie Prejean and this time, her back is not turned.

URGENT UPDATE:

GAY MARRIAGE OPPONENT IN TOPLESS SWIMSUIT PHOTO!

William Teach at Pirate’s Cove arrives late to the scandal, but endeavors to Google-bomb his way to the top of the blogospheric heap. Never trust a pirate when there is booty to be plundered.

PREVIOUSLY: When I got up this morning, I discovered I had gotten 500 hits in the 8 a.m. hour, and thought I’d been Instalanched or Malkinlanched or something. Instead, I discovered there was a sudden spurt of Googling for nude photos of Carrie Prejean.

The persistent surge finally caused me to check the celebrity blog aggregator We Smirch. Duh. The headlines:

EXCLUSIVE IMAGE: MISS CALIFORNIA CARRIE PREJEAN EXPOSED

and

MISS CALIFORNIA NUDE PICTURE — CARRIE PREJEAN NAKED PHOTO SCANDAL

Will update as details become available. Right now the servers are melting down at some of those sites.

UPDATE: Carrie Prejean tells MSNBC:

“I am a Christian, and I am a model,” Prejean said in a statement released overnight to the media. “Models pose for pictures, including lingerie and swimwear photos. Recently, photos taken of me as a teenager have been released surreptitiously to a tabloid Web site that openly mocks me for my Christian faith. I am not perfect, and I will never claim to be.”

Me neither, Carrie. “Swimwear photos.” Heh.

UPDATE II: If Carrie Prejean had been seeking a more appropriate way to help celebrate National Offend A Feminist Week, she could hardly have picked a better method than to remind God-haters that Christian belief begins with the confession of sin, recognizing the powerlessness of man to save himself by his own merit.

As it is written, There is none righteous, no, not one. . . . Now we know that what things soever the law saith, it saith to them who are under the law: that every mouth may be stopped, and all the world may become guilty before God. Therefore by the deeds of the law there shall no flesh be justified in his sight: for by the law is the knowledge of sin. . . . For all have sinned, and come short of the glory of God.
Romans 3:10-23 (KJV)

Like they say, read the whole thing. And take my word for it: There are no accidents. “Inconsistencies,” yes. Accidents, no.

UPDATE III: Thanks to the commenter who informs us that this is the photo, which:

  • A. Looks like she’s older than a teenager;
  • B. Seems to have been taken after she got the implants; and
  • C. Is not a professional modeling photo.

OK, so if this is it: Who took the photo, when, where and why? I remind you that I am a professional journalist, and this kind of basic “5 Ws and an H” stuff is what it’s all about. I’m Joe Friday: “Just the facts, ma’am.” If Miss Prejean would care to answer the questions directly, my e-mail address is not a secret.

UPDATE IV: Lots of comments about double standards and the Left’s politically motivated intolerance. As if we needed any further example, note how Time magazine plays Elizabeth Edwards big show of “surviving” her husband’s philandering.

When a liberal hero screws around, anyone who dares to be “judgmental” is condemned as heartless, but let it be revealed that a conservative is less than perfect and you see how the game works. Somebody ought to write a book.

And, in case you were wondering, Mary Jo Kopechne could not be reached for comment.

UPDATE V: Maggie Gallagher of the National Organization for Marriage:

Because Carrie honestly said what she believed in answer to a question — marriage is the union of a man and a woman — she is now the subject of ongoing character assassination. The level of hatred directed at her is astonishing. Even more astonishing is her personal courage and strength of character in the midst of these attacks. Of course Carrie is not perfect. On a personal note, as a former unwed mother, I want to say to Americans: you don’t have to be a perfect person to have the right to stand up for marriage. Nothing gay marriage advocates can do can change the fact-we all saw it on national TV-that Carrie is a young woman who surrendered all the glitter Hollywood has to offer, because she would not become the kind of person afraid to say the truth.

Shadrach, Mishach and Abednego could relate.

UPDATE VI: Just as soon as Donald Douglas noted the suspicious lack of reaction at Memeorandum, it’s there. Lesbian left-wing blogger Pam Spaulding has video of “Today” show coverage of the story. And you know that Pam’s a feminist, so she can tell us what is, or is not, offensive in how the media treats women.

UPDATE VII: Complete text of Carrie Prejean statement.

UPDATE VIII: If only Carrie had listened to John Hawkins.

UPDATE IX: Pro-life activist Becky Brindle helpfully clarifies the issues:

Christians recognize that all people are born with a sin nature and therefore need to repent and be saved by the blood of Christ. Salvation is open to all mankind. Everyone sins. Everyone needs saved. . . .
If making a mistake in your life exempts you from taking a stance against other actions you disagree with for the rest of your life, then every person on earth would have to remain completely silent on every ethical or moral issue forever. Is that what they want?

Obviously, that is exactly what they want. Meanwhile, Wendy Wright of Concerned Women for America says:

It is because Carrie is a Christian that she is held to a higher standard than her detractors hold for themselves. As parents tell their children, one reason for living a moral life is because eventually — usually at the most delicate time — our indiscretions may be revealed.

I’ve learned to joke about my “indiscretions,” but trust me, when this kind of stuff smacks you in the face the way it’s smacking Carrie Prejean right now, there’s nothing funny about it. But I like to say that if you can’t laugh in the face of disaster, you’re not really a Christian.

If you have faith, you must also have hope, and if you have both of those, you’ll also have courage. It’s the courage that inspires the laughter, because whatever happens to us, we know how this story ends. Pray hard.

UPDATE X: Moe Lane at Red State wonder exactly who this “revelation” is aimed at. I think I can answer that. It is intended to reinforce one of the Left’s favorite memes: “All social conservatives are hypocrites.”

There is no “target” audience for this message. They just enjoy repeating it endlessly, since it reassures the Left that having zero moral standards is, in fact, the morally superior position. Haven’t you read The Vision of the Anointed?

UPDATE XI: Linked at Tigerhawk, by Daley Gator, and by Paleo Pat at Political Byline. Also now blogging: Flopping Aces and Hot Air.

Remember: “Mamas Don’t Let Your Daughters Grow Up to Be Downloads.” And please hit the tip jar, because blogging this good is worth it.

April 30, 2009

SHANNA MOAKLER: NAKED LIAR?

Earlier today, I reported Shanna Moakler’s denial of Perez Hilton’s report that she had told Access Hollywood that pageant officials paid for Carrie Prejean’s implants. Now Access Hollywood reports:

Shanna Moakler, Co-Executive Director of the Miss California Organization, has confirmed the group behind the pageant paid for Miss California Carrie Prejean’s breast implants, weeks before she competed in Miss USA.
In a new interview with Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush, Shanna confirmed the news.
“Did you guys pay for it?: Billy asked Shanna directly.
“Yes,” Shanna said. “We did.”
The organization paid for Carrie’s breast enhancement prior to her competing in the Miss USA pageant, which was held in Las Vegas, almost two weeks ago.
“It was something that we all spoke about together,” Shanna said referring to herself, Carrie and Keith Lewis, Shanna’s co-executive director. “It was an option and she wanted it. And we supported that decision.”
Shanna, a former Miss USA herself, defended the Miss California Organization’s decision to pay for the elective surgery.
“Breast implants in pageants is not a rarity. It’s definitely not taboo. It’s very common. Breast implants today among young women today is very common. I don’t personally have them, but you know — they are,” she added.

You lying bitch! You deleted your earlier Tweet, in which you denied the Perez Hilton story, then turned around and Twittered:

Just did Access Hollywood, feel very good about it and hope I cleared up things! Billy Bush was a great!

Public Relations 101: NEVER LIE TO A REPORTER. We are not stupid. You are not required to respond to any press inquiry. You can refuse to comment, “neither confirm nor deny,” etc. But never lie, because once you’re caught lying, your credibility is shot.

Obviously, however, you’re telling the truth about not having implants. I did my research, lady. They’re real enough, all right. But they’re definitely not spectacular (or safe for work). No wonder Travis dumped you. Maybe he’ll take the kids, too.

UPDATE: Via Dan Collins, prepare for the weirdness of Perez Hilton in drag as . . . Bettie Page. Go ahead and laugh while you can. If Obama gets his way, it will be a hate crime to laugh. It’s already illegal discrimination to fire a transsexual.

UPDATE II: Frank J asks: “Why are people always trying to tear down our heroes?” Feet of clay, boobs of silicone?

Also, not to fuel anyone’s paranoia, but I’m getting anonymous tips that Carrie Prejean might actually be a Trojan Horse for the gay-rights movement. Prejean is friends with pageant director Keith Lewis, who was executive producer for a pro-gay documentary, “For The Bible Tells Me So.”

According to my tipster’s theory — and this is just speculation — the whole Perez Hilton question for Prejean was a setup, a stunt conceived to catapult Prejean to celebrity as a national spokewoman against same-sex marriage. Then, a few months later, she’ll have a “Road To Damascus” conversion, claiming to have “seen the light” about how hateful those conservative homophobes are, and why same-sex marriage should be the law of the land.

Also, my tipster speculates, various people (including Shanna Moakler) are using the Prejean controversy as publicity to help them negotiate new reality-TV gigs. (Apparently, landing a reality-show contract has in recent years become the obsession of every washed-up starlet and D-lister in Hollywood.)

This is all just speculation from anonymous tipsters, and is close enough to being outright conspiracy theory that I take it with numerous grains of salt. However, it’s worth keeping in mind as we watch the continuing saga of Carrie Prejean.

UPDATE III: I’ve also explained the tin-foil hat/silicone boobs theory at the Green Room. Meanwhile, Brian Simpson disputes my assessment of Moakler’s (non-)spectacularity. I’m sorry, Brian: I’ve got very high standards in this regard, after being married 20 years to such a hottie.

UPDATE IV: Naturally, Pandagon’s Pam Spaulding is outraged that anyone could (even pretend to) be against same-sex marriage.

UPDATE V: Ace says Prejean is getting the “Joe The Plumber treatment” from the press corps, and sees a double standard at work. Please note that, although I’m a thoroughgoing right-winger, I don’t feel like it’s my job to ignore Carrie’s fakies.

News is news, facts are facts, and — most importantly — traffic is traffic. I’m a capitalist blogger, and I don’t see any reason to let Gawker and Perez Hilton monopolize the “Carrie Prejean fake boob” traffic.

April 29, 2009

Confirmed: They’re fakies

UPDATED 9 p.m.: SHANNA MOAKLER IS A LIAR!

PREVIOUSLY: Perez Hilton: “In a very catty move. . . [Miss California USA pageant directors Keith] Lewis and [Shanna] Moakler confirmed to Access Hollywood that the Miss California pageant paid for Carrie Prejean to get breast implants six weeks before the Miss USA competition.”

UPDATE 2 PM: Keith Lewis is DENYING that either he or Moakler told Access Hollywood any such thing. However, Lewis did not deny that Carrie’s got fake boobs. Don’t worry: We are fearlessly committed to exposing the truth here.

You heard it here first, folks!

And we’re now the the No. 1 Google for “carrie+prejean+implants“!

UPDATE 2:30 p.m.: Via Twitter, ShannaMoakler also denies the Perez Hilton item. Folks, I’m trying hard to get to the truth. As I just said in an e-mail to Bob Barr, it’s not the crime, it’s the cover-up. What did Shanna Moakler know, and when did she know it?

UPDATE 5:40 p.m.: Ouch:

Did she buy them at Walmart? . . . Not a good look when you are competing in a national beauty pageant, but a great look for amateur night at your local strip club. Supposedly, the state committee for Miss California – USA bought them for her; my question is, Did they use a coupon?

UPDATE 6 p.m.: From the official bio:

[Prejean] an advocate for encouraging healthy lifestyles for young women. Carrie wants people to remember her as being compassionate and real.

Jezebel comments:

If it turns out that Miss California organizers bought her new breasts, they should be called on the carpet; and Prejean may need to rethink that last statement.

Stay tuned for further BreastGate updates as the investigation continues . . .

UPDATE: An anonymous commenter (whom for some reason I suspect to be either Troglopundit or Professor Donald Douglas) provides this link to a photo of pre-fakie Carrie.

In a related development, why is Perez Hilton involved in an organization that discriminates against transsexuals?

BTW, if Miss Prejean wishes to deny that she’s got implants, she should e-mail Smitty, who has been appointed chairman of the Fake Boob Investigative Commission.

UPDATE II: Alert the media!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELASE
BREAST IMPLANT PANDEMIC MUST BE EXPOSED
Internet Investigation Launched in Wake of Pageant Scandal
WASHINGTON, D.C. April 29 — Revelations that Miss California USA pageant sponsors paid for Carrie Prejean’s breast augmentation procedure have prompted a group of Internet activists to organize an investigation of the prevalence of silicone implants in the pageant industry.
“This is an aesthetic disgrace and an unpatriotic insult to the fine tradition of American breasts,” said blogger Robert Stacy McCain, a leading online advocate of traditional values who helped launch the Fake Boob Investigative Commission. “These pageant officials are displaying a widespread and harmful prejudice against small breasts that damages the self-esteem of millions of women in this country. Their claim to value ‘diversity’ is clearly false, so long as they effectively banish healthy American A-cups from their competitions.”
Vowing to combat the misleading use of “fakies” in the pageant industry, the Internet activists announced a slogan for their campaign: “REAL PRIDE: EXPOSE THE FAKES!” The activists urge that pageant contestants with natural breasts publicly declare their unenhanced status, and “name names” of contestants whom they know to have had deceptive implant surgery.
“This isn’t just about small-breasted women,” McCain said. “Naturally large-breasted women are also being cheated by being forced into competition with these artificially enhanced frauds. It’s the equivalent of illegal steroid use in sports.”
McCain said that at least one former member of Congress has expressed interest in the issue, and that the Fake Boob Commission is seeking legal advice on whether the use of breast implants in pageants violates state or federal laws, including civil rights statutes.

Legal advisers say a class-action lawsuit is possible, if we could find enough beauty pageant contestants with real breasts who feel they have been victimized by discrimination.

UPDATE III: We have a theme song, “Miss California,” by Jack’s Mannequin:

UPDATE IV: Another shocking revelation: WATER IS WET!

April 22, 2009

Carrie Prejean: Hateful Oppressor?

“The problem with the ‘homophobia’ smear is that this allegedly dangerous tendency does not correlate with any actual evil. Nearly all ‘homophobes’ are peaceful, law-abiding citizens who treat the objects of their supposed ‘phobia’ with civility and courtesy. It is the object of the Left to convince homosexuals that they suffer oppression as the result of the intolerance and prejudice of their fellow citizens, yet it is extraordinarily difficult to argue that homosexuals are oppressed — the annual income of gay households, calculated as a per-capita average, far exceeds the income of most married-with-children households — much less that their putative oppression is the result of discrimination at the hands of heterosexual bigots.”

UPDATE: Michelle Malkin:

Instead of apologizing for pageant judge Perez Hilton’s vile behavior, the pageant director of the Miss California contest, Keith Lewis, sent a note to Hilton throwing Prejean under the bus: “I am personally saddened and hurt that Miss CA USA 2009 believes marriage rights belong only to a man and a woman. . . . Religious beliefs have no place in politics in the Miss CA family.”

Ergo, Perez Hilton, OK; Carrie Prejean, not OK. Secular liberalism, OK; religious conservatism, not OK. The values of the media-culture mainstream are clear, and the price of publicly rejecting those values is equally clear.

Please allow me to call to your attention the continued shifting of the tectonic plates of American politics, as Michelle Malkin moves steadily into alignment with Robert Spencer and Pam Geller, while Charles Johnson drifts toward Meghan McCain. Meanwhile, Carrie Prejean comes out of the closet as a Tea Party conservative. I am once again reminded of Phyllis Chesler and The Camp of the Saints.

WOLVERINES!

UPDATE II: No Sheeples Here notes that, although Miss California didn’t win the crown, Perez Hilton is a total queen. Meanwhile, Donald Douglas is exploiting the controversy with admirable shamelessness.

Rule 5A — “Everybody Loves a Pretty Girl” — explains both the value of Miss Prejean’s courage in speaking up, and the rage of the Left against her. The Left knows very well what I learned more than two decades ago while working as a nightclub DJ: Wherever the pretty girls are, that’s where everyone wants to be.

This is why Michelle Malkin and Ann Coulter drive ’em nuts. Beauty is associated with prestige, and when a beautiful woman declares herself a conservative, she effectively undermines the prestige of liberalism. If you’ve contemplated Thomas Sowell’s The Vision of the Anointed, you understand that liberals think of themselves as more sophisticated and enlightened than the benighted “masses.”

This self-congratulatory liberal self-conception is contradicted when their ideology is not embraced by prestige-conferring beauties. Liberals have no problem getting their agenda endorsed by airhead Hollywood starlets, but whenever one encounters the confluence of beauty and brains, conservative beliefs are far more prevalent.

My beautiful and intelligent conservative wife is sufficient evidence of that phenomenon, but noting the “progressive” outrage over Tom Tancredo’s appearance at the University of North Carolina, perhaps Mrs. Other McCain won’t mind my adducing other evidence of the widespread appeal of Youth For Western Civilization:

Rep. Tom Tancredo and young extremist Clever S. Logan. (Better watch your step, Big Sexy, or these right-wingers will have you deported.)

UPDATE III: Linked at Memeorandum, with this observation from Dan Riehl: “It’s getting so one can hardly express a critical thought if it isn’t acceptable to the Left.”

UPDATE IV: Allahpundit has video of an interview with Miss North Carolina, who won the Miss USA pageant because of Miss California’s political disqualification.

UPDATE V:Sometimes you read something that makes you want to stand up and applaud. This is one of those!

UPDATE VI: Donald Douglas, all-around extremist.

April 14, 2009

Porn star Marilyn Chamber dead

The L.A. Times reports:

Marilyn Chambers, a former Ivory Snow detergent model who became a porn star, died Sunday at her Canyon Country home. She was 56.
Chambers, whose real name is Marilyn Ann Taylor, was found unresponsive at 8:51 p.m. at her residence it the 16000 block of Vasquez Canyon, said Los Angeles County coroner’s spokesman Ed Winter. The cause of death is under investigation but foul play was not suspected and an autopsy is pending.
Chambers became a pop culture phenomenon when she gave up work as a model advertising Ivory Snow laundry detergent to star in the X-rated “Behind the Green Door” in 1972.

This was actually tipped to me by a commenter at The Green Room. Green Room, Green Door, what’s the difference, right?

April 11, 2009

URGENT BREAKING NEWS!

EASTER MIRACLE

EX-DISNEY STARLET LINDSAY LOHAN REPORTEDLY DUMPED BY LESBIAN GF SAMANTHA RONSON . . .

DETAILS TO FOLLOW . . .

UPDATE 7:15 P.M. ET: OK, apparently this isn’t so much news as it is “news to me,” since I’ve been wrapped up in other stuff and haven’t kept up with my celebrity news (via WeSmirch).

Welcome to the Blog Age: You start paying attention to “work” and next thing you know, you’re so far out of the loop that Saturday you report as “urgent” news that actually broke on Monday:

She was shunned from the party and locked out of her love nest. Now, Lindsay Lohan exclusively tells E! News that reports of her breakup with Samantha Ronson are true: “We are taking a brief break so I can focus on myself.”
The decision was made Monday morning following a rather rough weekend. First, the 22-year-old was barred entry from a Ronson family party on Friday. Then a locksmith was seen paying a house call to Ronson’s abode, where Lohan had resided in recent months.

OK, maybe you’re like me. You’ve been so busy with trivial stuff — piracy in Somalia, gay marriage in Iowa, your job, your family — that you also missed this earth-shattering development in America’s cultural landscape. Don’t worry: I’ll catch you up on the whole sordid story in subsequent updates. First, however, let us all agree that Samantha Ronson was unworthy:

As they say on “Sesame Street,” one of these things just doesn’t belong here. OK, sensitive tolerant guys understand that Lindsay’s not obligated to enact some Bob Guccione-scripted lipstick-lesbian fantasy in her personal life. However, even a vicious sexist homophobe could have been somewhat understanding if Lindsay had hooked up with a really butch type, like one of those bulked-up pro wrestling chicks from WWE, but . . . Sam Ronson?

Nah, that’s just wrong. It’s the gay equivalent of Britney’s quickie Vegas wedding to that stupid hometown loser. And so naturally, I’m thinking, Cry for help. This Sam Ronson fling was just Lindsay playing the LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation) game that dweeby college girls use to avoid the whole ugly date-rape-herpes-and-abortion scene of 21st-century campus heterosexuality.

While we await the oddsmaker’s line on the gay/straight scenario, my money says Lindsay will next make headlines as arm-candy for an NBA player. NTTAWWT.

UPDATE 7:58 P.M. ET: Still doing background research on the LiLo/SamRo breakup, but meanwhile Professor Douglas provides linkage and hometown eye-candy, which should keep you sick freaks busy for about 10 minutes.

UPDATE 8:09 ET: Speaking of wasting your life online, I cite this testimonial from loyal reader Bob:

Funny…it all began when I started commenting on a discussion between McCain and Jimmie over the merits of Battlestar Galactica. I only found his site in the first place because I was researching Grace Park for my doctoral thesis on Asian schoolgirl uniforms.

Understand that on his way to coffee-spewing LOL, Bob’s online journey through the smear machine took him to the site of a disgruntled former colleague of mine who, when last I heard anything about him, was being evicted by his own sister. It’s a crazy world, and it helps to have a sense of humor.

EXPECT FURTHER UPDATES . . .

April 10, 2009

I’ve seen England, I’ve seen France . . .

. . . I’ve seen Miranda Kerr in her underpants:

“I don’t look at myself as a sex symbol. I see it as a job, and I’m working for a company that I really love and enjoy working for,” the brunette beauty told In Touch at the launch of the new Dream Angels Push-up Bra for Victoria’s Secret in New York on April 7.

“Sex symbol?” Where did people get that silly idea?

(Via Conservative Grapevine.)