Archive for ‘Cynthia Yockey’

June 23, 2009

Cynthia Yockey: Bravo!

by Smitty

It’s time for a Cynthia Yockey roundup. Here efforts have vast tactical and strategic importance.
Tactically, there is the obvious matter of the tasteless jokes. That horse has been thoroughly beaten. However, do not underestimate the value to women in general, and Governor Palin in particular, of Cynthia’s efforts. The Governor was flogged remorselessly in the press during the ’08 campaign. Letterman’s remarks are evidence that any previous defensive efforts were moot. This is not to sell any other efforts short, but there you have it.
Strategically, irrespective of Governor Palin and her family, Cynthia Yockey is holding a seminar in How Stuff Gets Done. Conservatives: in other than a handful of very narrow religious cases, I can recall scant evidence of “us” ever doing much to influence the culture. Lousier and lousier movies and shows come out, and there is some muttering, but little in the way of tangible feedback. Certainly, the world needs no more Al Sharpton or Jesse Jackson “action figures” running around like solutions in search of problems. However, there is plenty of need for sincere, honest, positive leadership to alter the course of society back in the direction of simple courtesy.
In reverse chronological order, Cynthia has given us the following:

Support this effort, and salt away skills that will be crucial for everyone’s long term good.

June 17, 2009

Ann Coulter’s favorite lesbian

Today I was checking SiteMeter and noticed traffic from Ann Coulter’s Web site, and when I checked:

June 17, 2009, 1:50 AM
Cynthia Yockey’s Campaign to get David Letterman Fired
Dave has pissed off the wrong lesbian
Crowds Line Up to Protest “Pervert” David Letterman in New York
Your handy ‘Fire David Letterman’ Kit, Part Two

So now Cynthia can claim the title of Ann Coulter’s favorite lesbian. Hey, I’m already Ann’s favorite McCain.

And speaking of pissed-off people . . .

June 16, 2009

On relentlessness

You can’t beat a man who refuses to admit defeat. You can kill a man like that, but you cannot defeat him otherwise, because he has gotten it in his mind to keep fighting, whatever happens.

Sunday I had a phone conversation with Cynthia Yockey in which she calmly and cheerfully explained that she was going to get David Letterman fired. Republicans are too willing to take that kind of abuse, Cynthia said, but she comes out of the gay-rights movement, and they don’t roll that way.

We talked a while, but the main thing I took away from the conversation was Cynthia’s determination to fight a one-woman campaign against Letterman. Even if no one else joined her anti-Letterman crusade, she would fight on alone. As long as it takes, whatever it takes, she has envisioned her goal, and intends to achieve it.

Dave has pissed off the wrong lesbian.

The novelist Tito Perdue once said to me, “How many Spartans would it take to bring down America? Ten thousand? One thousand? One?”

What Tito was trying to express was the vast difference between the softness of modern decadence and the adamantine hardness of the ancients. Those Spartans who died at Thermopylae were so much tougher than the average American of 2009, it’s almost like talking about two entirely separate species.

Nevertheless, there are those rare few who emulate the ancient virtues, who accomplish great things not because they are more talented or more intelligent or more fortunate, but simply because they are truly determined and pursue their aims relentlessly.

“One of the basic principles of military strategy is to reinforce success. If you see a man who fights and wins, give him reinforcements, and bid others to emulate his success.”

It was hardly surprising when Cynthia said of Letterman’s latest apology, “Too little, too late.” She intends to make an example of him, so that others may learn from the example.

That is the basic relentlessness necessary to success. She will keep fighting however long it takes, and what Cynthia needs is reinforcements.

UPDATE: CBS has already lost an advertiser and plans a protest rally today at 4 p.m. in New York. (H/T: Frugal Cafe.) And here’s the part where I agree with Dan Collins that Letterman was engaged in “intentionalism” a la Goldstein.

Outrageous over-the-top humor — been there, done that. But I’ve never done it on national TV with a multimillion-dollar contract, eh? And I actually like Dave Letterman.

This isn’t about that. It’s about “don’t f*** with us.”

UPDATE II: Heh. Seems like Instapundit’s down with the Don’t F*** With Us Coalition.

UPDATE III: Let’s get medieval on him!

May 9, 2009

Could Cynthia Yockey double her chances for a date on Saturday night?

Why am I so neglectful toward the ladies? Ask my beautiful wife, who has put up with my horrible thoughtlessness for 20 years.

Or ask lesbian blogger Cynthia Yockey, who catapulted me to irresistibility. (Cynthia is pictured here with Jason “Big Sexy” Mattera, who is obviously trying to make someone jealous.)

Cynthia and I met at CPAC and began what I thought to be a strictly platonic friendship. After all, I am happily married and she’s playing for the other team. We were just a couple of conservative bloggers, trying to advocate on issues, increase our traffic and make a gazillion dollars. What could possibly be wrong? How could anyone even suggest . . .?

But you know what? She sure likes big wieners. NTTAWWT. (She’s even got a photo of somebody with a big wiener in their mouth.)

Could it be that, in fact, Cynthia is a hetero hottie trapped in a lesbian’s body? Stranger things have happened, you know. Meghan McCain recently turned a guy gay.

As a matter of fact, Cynthia once expressed interest in a guy from Ohio, but he broke her heart. So I’m thinking that Cynthia is bisexual.

Back when I was kid, I thought that word meant you’d ride your bicycle over to a girl’s house and . . . well, anyway. When I tried that, the girl told me that yes, as a matter of fact, I was bisexual, because the only way I’d ever get it was if I paid for it. (Buy-sexual, get it?)

Later on, as I got older, I thought that “bisexual” meant when it was so good, you wanted to do it twice, but before I ever got to that, I spent a few years being trisexual. I kept trying, but wasn’t getting sexual. (Try-sexual.)

Finally, however, somebody explained to me the real meaning bisexual. They said the great thing about being bisexual was, it doubled your chances for a date on Saturday night. Unfortunately, that wasn’t much help to me, since two times zero is still zero.

So I got married. Now we’ve got six kids. My wife tells me that this means at least one of us has had sex a few times.

I support abstinence education. The way I look at it, if young people don’t learn to do without sex before they’re married . . .

Cynthia is in favor of same-sex marriage. I think that must be where you have a lot of sex, but it’s always the same. I believe in traditional marriage, which isn’t like that at all.

In a traditional marriage, you have Republican sex, which is the kind that begins with “I do” and ends with “till death do you part.” My wife says if I keep telling these dumb jokes, the “death do you part” might be sooner than I expect.

But the main thing is, go over to Cynthia’s site, where she can show you that big wiener.

UPDATE: Obi’s Sister has car-lust for a Camaro. Driven by a guy with a mullet, no doubt.

April 21, 2009

Possibly Better Than The Jello Wrestling

by Smitty
In the South corner (geographically), we have The Clever S. Logan, who thinks that the recession may portend a much needed Come To Beavis meeting for the corporate ‘we’:

The kind of economic difficulty that America needs to purge the “spoiled brat” mentality and return to the days of moral and cultural integrity that Tito remembers and I (sadly) do not is one more severe than we are currently having. It cannot be the kind in which people whine about having less money to spend on dinners and movies out. It must be the kind that forces neighbors to band together to meet their bare necessities.

And, in the North corner, we have HotMes, taking just a little bit of umbrage at the spoiled brat call:

I was drawn into conservatism because I got sick of it all. I got sick of the fact that I was working my butt off while the government was taking my money (through taxation) to support those who weren’t willing to sacrifice. They weren’t even willing to work. Don’t forget, I was poor. I have seen abuses of welfare. I was the friend of kids whose mothers were on welfare and used their checks to buy drugs.

We can all have a laugh, but I’m going to come down on Monique’s side in the argument. While it may be possible to show substantially that modern Americans are indeed a bunch of crybabies, sweeping generalizations about anything other than brooms remain fraught with peril.

Thus, the question of whether person “A” is a dirtbag and person “B” is not is really bearish. We need to get to know them on an individual basis, and offer the solid encouragement required to get them to judge themselves and decide to avoid dirtbag-hood. My name is Chris, and I approve of this message. However, the real judge here is Cynthia Yockey, so we’ll have to await her final take on the matter.

March 20, 2009

Ever wonder why the letters ‘O,’ ‘M’ and ‘G’ were invented?

She is strictly neutral and objective and therefore offers herself as an impartial referee in the Jello wrestling catfight grudge match, The Fight for Big Sexy. Yeah, I know, life is like a box of chocolates but — Holy Cthulhu! — I never thought it would come to this . . .

March 20, 2009

How long until Easter?

Cynthia Yockey was the Good Sapphic Samaritan last week, helping me maintain my Lenten vow (I’m a proud Protestant, but made a promise to a friend who is a notorious Catholic hypocrite), and now as further testimony that the Lord sends “angels unawares,” Katha Pollit adds her widow’s mite:

But [William Kristol’s] presence on the [New York Times op-ed] page reminded readers that David Brooks is not really what Republicanism is all about. Frankly, though, I don’t see why there must be two conservatives on the page.

I suppose I should also acknowledge that, via Rule 3, a hat-tip is owed to Matthew Yglesias, even though he couldn’t be bothered to read Atlas Shrugged before denouncing it.
Now, I have acknowledged to Cynthia that she is owed an apology, because when I responded at length to her dispute of my views on gay marriage, I ignorantly wounded her — an unintentional offense, yet an offense nonetheless.
Thinking that Cynthia was currently in a long-term lesbian relationship, I engaged in a hypothetical speculation on the possibility that, should she by misfortune become a “lesbian widow,” there would be no guarantee that her next relationship would also be lesbian. Whatever one’s orientation or your congenital predisposition, whatever your habit and custom, life is like a box of chocolates, and sometimes a chance encounter becomes a “pivotal life movement.” Not until many years later, wondering how you arrived at your present circumstance, do you look back and ask, “When did that road fork? Where did I turn?”

My intention was kindness, but the result was cruelty, for I did not know that Cythnia’s 20-year relationship had ended with her partner’s death — after a long, painful, debilitating illness — on Dec. 7, 2004.

Ms. Yockey has chronicled her devotion to Margaret Ardussi in a page that I promised her I would link. My oppressive patriarchal heteronormativity bids me speak, but as Smitty points out, “He that shutteth his lips is esteemed a man of understanding.” Therefore, Ms. Yockey, I pray only that my apology is sufficent and acceptable, as it is my continued hope ever to remain

Your most humble and obedient servant,

March 16, 2009

Fisk me harder, you savage beast!

My throat was dry from too much vodka, and her breasts, spilling out of pink pajamas, threatened my ability to. I was supposed to be excited, but I was bored and somewhat disgusted with myself, with her, with the whole business… and then whatever residual enthusiasm I felt for the venture dissipated, with shocking speed, as she nibbled at my ear and whispered — ‘You know, I’m on the pill…’ “

(Cynthia Yockey informs me that Lenten vows don’t forbid mere quotations. Andy recoils in reflexive gynophobia. And make sure you have plenty of brain bleach handy before you confront Dan Collins and the Mental Imagery From Hell.)

March 15, 2009

Lesbian war cry: "WOLVERINES!"

Conservative lesbian Cynthia Yockey declares herself part of the guerrilla resistance. One of the amazing things about Obamaism is how it has clarified allegiances so starkly. You are either a butt boy for The One, or else you will inevitably find yourself in the wilderness bunker with all the other outlaws whose names appear on Patriot Rock.

Jed Eckert: Well, who is on our side?
Col. Andy Tanner: Six hundred million screaming Chinamen.
Darryl Bates: Last I heard, there were a billion screaming Chinamen.
Col. Andy Tanner: There were.

The oft-repeated saying “9/11 changed everything,” is not literally true. Yet if 9/11 didn’t really change everything, it definitely changed some things, and the rise of the Pelosi/Reid/Obama hegemon has changed a few more. As I recently told my friend Tito Perdue, the past few years have been like watching a geological upheaval, as political alliances shift like tectonic plates.

You’re either with the Evil Coalition of Liars and Fools, or you’re against them , and if you’re against them, let me hear you scream: WOLVERINES!

(The Revolution Will Not Be Televised. However, the Apocalypse Will Be Blogged.)

A few years ago, Phyllis Chesler sent me her book The Death of Feminism, and when I got home with it and started reading, I was shocked to see her citing Jean Raspail’s notorious novel, The Camp of the Saints. (That passage is substantially excerpted in an online essay at her Web site.)

For years, Raspail’s 1973 French novel enjoyed a sort of samizdat cult following among critics of multiculturalism and opponents of open-borders immigration policy (which would be more properly termed a non-policy, but let us not digress.) Raspail himself has said that Le Camp Des Saints could not be published in France today because of the “human rights” nonsense that is slowly strangling free speech in Europe (and Canada). And the book’s reputation as a hateful expression of xenophobic nativism makes it one of those Books You’re Not Supposed to Read.

Thus, I was startled to see Chesler, a liberal feminist all her life, citing Raspail’s book as prophetic. Yet Chesler had been able to see past the superficial text of the novel to comprehend its deeper significance as a metaphor for the demoralization of the West. In this sense, Raspail was describing the same larger phenomenon that Shelby Steele describes in White Guilt, that Pat Buchanan describes in The Death of the West, that Michelle Malkin describes in Invasion, that Thomas Sowell describes in The Vision of the Anointed, and that Peter Brimelow describes in Alien Nation.

These are all very different writers, with different interests, different aims, and different philosophies. However, they all share the fundamental understanding that liberalism is a soul-destroying disease, a sort of intellectual anti-virus that exposes its host to destruction by weakening the individual cells of the national immune system. To the extent that your mind is cluttered with the glittering generalities of modern liberalism — “social justice,” etc. — you will be unable to resist and will inevitably succumb to the agonizing spiritual death that beckons at the end of that road.

In war, few things are more important to an army than morale. And it breaks my heart to see the discouragement and demoralization when the enemy is seemingly triumphant and when all the glory and honor of this world accrues to so-called “conservatives” who do everything in their power to undermine actual conservatism, while genuine conservatives are fighting their hearts out in obscurity. Dan Riehl:

I’m mostly sick of it and hard-pressed to find good reason for good conservatives not to simply go off the grid. If the day ever comes for conservatives to have a serious voice again, I’m unconvinced it will be through the GOP and I know for a fact, it’ll never be through the New York Times.

(H/T: Cold Fury.) To quote Jed Eckert again: “Let it turn.” Let them choke on their ill-gotten gains. Let them have their 30 pieces of silver. Let your rage and resentment toward them turn to something useful: The savage fury of the warrior.

Resolve to fight that much harder. Train your mind so that when you are not fighting, your constant object of contemplation is how to fight smarter. Excuse the martial metaphors, but a War of Ideas is a war nonetheless.

When you’re in a fight, the only things that really matter are the fight itself, your own willingness to fight like hell, and knowing who’s on your side. (IFF: Identity Friend or Foe.) Those who join up with The Republicans Who Really Matter like Coddy Voorhees and Brooksie Frumdreher are de facto allies of the Evil Coalition of Liars and Fools. You who live on scanty cold rations, huddled in the wilderness, short on supplies and wondering how much longer you can hold out — you, the soldiers in this Army of Davids, will one day proudly recall that you served with heroes in the Camp of the Saints.

Courageous new recruits like Cynthia Yockey are coming into camp every day. Whatever their histories, whatever their reasons for hating the Evil Coalition of Liars and Fools, their willingness to join a seemingly hopeless cause in combat against an evidently invulnerable opponent tells us that they are real fighters. These recruits need training and leadership. As this army grows stronger, we know that victory awaits us, but we don’t need to wait for Election Day to cheer.

Every time another soldier joins the ranks, this is a victory in its own right and should inspire the troops to scream out the battle cry: WOLVERINES!

UPDATE: Linked as “Quote of the Day” by Ed Driscoll.