Archive for ‘Levi Johnston’

July 15, 2009

NBC Reliable Source: Ricky Hollywood!

Yes, when respectable mainstream journalists like NBC’s Ann Curry want the authoritative word on Republican Party politics, they know who to call: High-school dropout, unemployed has-been hockey jock, the world’s most famous deadbeat dad . . .

MEET RICKY HOLLYWOOD!

OK, so who’s the bigger laughingstock: Curry or her source? Talk about someone whose 15 minutes of fame should have ended 16 minutes ago . . .

(Hat-tip: Memeorandum.)

UPDATE: Troglopundit has the perfect match for NBC’s new political correspondent. And if Meghan McCain and Mr. Hollywood don’t work out, his next conquest . . .

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July 14, 2009

Pat Buchanan’s Very Excellent Idea

Via Hot Air:

The problem with Pat’s approach is that it’s far more humane than this punk deserves. As I’ve said before, the big mystery to me is why Levi Johnston’s horribly mutilated corpse hasn’t been fed to a pack of wolves.

May 7, 2009

Levi Johnston: ‘Mindless bag of hormones’

So says Laura at Pursuing Holiness, discussing the latest interview from the Bristol Palin baby daddy:

“Abstinence is a great idea,” he said, “but I also think you need to enforce, you know, condoms and birth control and other things like that to have safe sex. I don’t just think telling young kids, you can’t have sex, it’s not going to work. It’s not realistic. ” … It’s a great idea and a great message she’s trying to send out to the world and all the young kids. It’s not easy raising a baby. But I do think there’s more things to it than just not having sex.”

Yeah, Levi, but if you had stuck to the “just not having sex” part, you wouldn’t be famous now, would you? You’d still be just some small-town jock chasing tail in Wasilla, and CBS News would never want to interview a nobody loser like that.

I remember back when the news broke of Bristol’s pregnancy. My first post about it was critical of Bristol, even more critical of Levi Johnston, and yet more critical of the way the story was handled by the “media strategy geniuses” who were busy doing what they do best, running the Republican Party off a cliff. There is a right way and a wrong way to handle a scandal in the New Media age, and Republicans haven’t figured it out yet, because they’re too busy paying gazillions of dollars to “media strategy geniuses” who never worked a day in the news business. But we digress . . .

Many of my conservative readers excoriated me for daring to criticize the Romeo and Juliet of Anchorage. But (a) that’s just the way I roll, people, and (b) I know enough about 17-year-old boys to recognize Levi Johnston for what he is.

Yeah, big-deal hockey star, doin’ the governor’s daughter, braggin’ to all his buddies about it. There was a reason, you see, that when the media flew up to Wasilla, every other person they talked to was telling them about Levi and Bristol. Because that’s the kind of guy Levi Johnston is.

Dimwit losers like that are a dime a dozen.

But a conservative isn’t supposed to say such things! Blame everything on the evil “media”! As I noted even before we knew Levi’s last name:

Little Miss Attila refers to the press as “jackals” and “bottom-feeders.” Hey, it’s their job, OK? By this time tomorrow, you’ll have Levi’s full name and biography, you’ll know how he met Bristol, etc., etc. You’ll read it. You may feel guilty about reading it, but you’ll read every word of it.
Will you be grateful to the reporters who dug up those facts? No. Some poor shmuck of a reporter is even now knocking on doors in Alaska, getting rude responses and threatening gestures, in order to satisfy your pathological curiosity, and you diss him as a “jackal.” Fine. Don’t read the story when Drudge puts a siren on it tomorrow.
But you will read it, won’t you? So, who’s really the bottom-feeding jackal here?

Facts are facts. Any journalist who is halfway intelligent and stays in the game a while will learn secrets he can never report, because you don’t burn a source. You are always skeptical of “the story too good to be true,” and so when I saw the Republican spinners portraying the fairy-tale romance of Levi and Bristol . . . well, I shut up.

Nobody wanted to hear my appraisal of the situation. I focused on other stories and just let the whole Levi and Bristol business go on to its sorry, and utterly predictable, denouement. None of the nice, respectable Republicans who were telling me not to criticize Levi back in September will ever say now, “Hey, you know something? He was right.” And what did I tell you Feb. 5, 2008?

[John] McCain is not a conservative, he will lose in November . . .

I was right about that, too. A guy gets tired of being right all the time, and watching fools prosper.

March 11, 2009

Bristol Palin calls Baby Daddy Levi ‘white trash’

Well, this little bit of tabloid gossip is helpful, isn’t it? A source says Bristol broke up with the teenage sperm donor Levi “Sex on Skates” Johnston two months ago, won’t even let him see the fruit of his loins, and has denounced the entire Johnston family as “white trash.”

I love Sarah Palin, but Bristol’s judgment is questionable. Really, Bristol: What do you expect people to call a girl who gets herself knocked up by white trash? This does not reflect favorably on you.

UPDATE: Noting the negativity of some of the comments, but didn’t realized I’d been linked on this by Videmus Omnia at Conservatives4Palin:

As a final note, I am very disappointed in our friend R. S. McCain. Do all McCains like to stick the knife into Palins when their backs are turned?

Sorry, I’m not wired that way. I support Sarah Palin. But if Bristol Palin is conducting herself in such a hideous manner, I’m not going to turn a blind eye and pretend it’s not happening. I’ve got three teenagers of my own, remember, and if they act disgracefully, my judgment would be quite harsh indeed.

Read what I wrote about the role of lax discipline in the apparent decline of evangelical churches. I am not a violent or brutal person, but neither do I believe that indulgent condescension is an appropriate way to instill character in the young. In sharing some unsavory details of my own tragic adolescence, I should hope I made it clear that I understand the potentially disastrous consequences of wrong choices and bad companionship.

It is not kindness to a wayward child to shelter and protect them when they are doing the wrong thing. While the full circumstances of the situation are of course not known to us, doesn’t it seem that Bristol is going out of her way to bring shame and disgrace to her parents? And what about Levi Johnston, the hockey stud? Am I the only one who thinks that his role in all this has been of a selfish, shallow cad?

I would call to your attention the difference between Michael Reagan, older son that Ronald Reagan adopted with his first wife, Jane Wyman, and Ron Jr., the natural son of Reagan’s second marriage to Nancy. If you talk to people who knew the family, the cause of the difference between the two sons is obvious.

As a boy, Michael felt somewhat “second best,” and had a deep hunger to win his father’s admiration and acceptance. Michael went through some wild years, but in his maturity, he was a respectful, dutiful son. By contrast — and Reagan admitted this privately to friends — Ron Jr. was treated with too much favoritism as a child, and thus grew up arrogant and disrespectful.

A child’s misconduct always reflects poorly on the family. I’m sure that Bristol is breaking her parents’ hearts by her shoddy behavior. But I’m thinking back to some TV interview Bristol did, and if she demonstrated an attitude of humility and remorse, it didn’t stick in my mind.

Why would anyone think it was helpful — to her, to her parents, to the GOP or to the conservative cause — for conservatives to pretend that everything with Bristol is just hunky-dory? If my kid was acting like that, would a true friend ignore it?

And since Videmus Omnia brings up the subject of Crazy Cousin John, how do you think his daughter Meghan got such an impudent attitude? Way back years ago, when I was a single fellow, there was a type of girl I labeled “Daddy’s Little Darling.”

Maybe some of y’all know the type — snooty, stuck-up, cliqueish, insufferable demanding, with a high-handed and disdainful way of dealing with people beneath her status, having a self-important attitude.

Once, after I’d been covering sports in Calhoun, Ga., a few years, I was at the season-opening high school football game. Before the game, I was talking to a group of non-football athletes — baseball, basketball, wrestling — who were hanging out by the end zone. This girl comes walking up, apparently attracted magnetically to a cluster of high-status students.

So she managed to find an opportunity to introduce herself, “I’m Heather So-and-So.” Yes, OK, fine nice to meet you, but there wasn’t any recognition on my part, because the only kids I knew were the ones who played sports. Seeing that I wasn’t impressed, the girl then repeated her name, “Heather So-and-So. My dad is Jim So-and-So, he owns So-and-So Carpet Outlet.”

If that wasn’t the tackiest thing I’d ever heard! But that’s the “Daddy’s Little Darling” attitude, and it’s always a source of misery. Whether that has anything to do with the original subject from which I have sadly digressed, you be the judge.

September 3, 2008

Video: McCain greets Palin family

Raw video from Associated Press, notice him talking to baby daddy Levi:

“We’re going to fight back,” Maverick says. And the (oddly optimistic) Allah says, “Before this story’s done circulating, Maverick’s standing with the base is apt to be at an all-time high.”

Any time Allah gets optimistic, something strange must be going on.

September 2, 2008

Levi Johnston: ‘Sex on skates’

New York Magazine:

We’ll have a roundup of pundit reactions later, and we’re sure that you have your own points of view. . . .
We have a different question: HOW HOT IS THE BABY DADDY? . . . . Look at that face. John McCain is definitely winning the cougar vote now, on top of the Jamie-Lynn Spears vote.
Johnston is basically the quintessential example of that guy who you are constantly worried is going to impregnate your daughter (and occasionally does). He’s a handsome stud, an athletic star, and he has a criminal record.

OK, I’ve been getting a lot of grief for slogging Levi “f—in’ redneck” Johnston on an earlier post, mainly because I figured by knocking up Bristol Palin, he was helping Obama. But traffic is through the roof with people Googling for “boyfriend Levi Johnston” and so I’m sensing that this might go the other way.

Between “Sarah Palin bikini pics” and this young studpuppy shagging 17-year-old Bristol, the choice of the VPILF has added a sexy factor to the GOP ticket. America loves a good soap opera, especially the R-rated kind on HBO where the studly teenage hockey player is getting jiggy with the governor’s jailbait daughter.

Brangelina, Britney and K-Fed, Levi and Bristol — look, if the American people want “The OC” at the Naval Observatory, who am I to argue? So I’m beating Ace to the punch and jumping to the front of the line for Google hits for “Levi Johnston hung like a moose.” Also, if anyone has photos of Levi Johnston in his underwear, send ’em on.

I’m a capitalist blogger, and traffic is traffic.

UPDATE: Getting lots of e-mails from people weighing in on the issue, mostly seeing the human-interest side of the story. Conservatives definitely seem to be rallying in support of Bristol Palin, and so Team Maverick may come out ahead on this after all.

Despite my ribald reaction to all this, I am a father of six (including three teenagers) and I do believe that babies are a blessing, not a “punishment.” And long before I’d ever heard of Bristol Palin, I said “thank God for Jamie Lynn Spears” and blogged about my favorite famous teenage mothers. So those of you supporting Bristol, I’m on your side.

However, I’m also a journalist writing about politics and as such, I have to wonder how this is playing with the undecided swing voters out there. (Obama just hit 50% for the first time in Gallup’s daily tracking poll.) Does the sudden eruption of distracting chatter about Palin’s family make Team Maverick look incompetent? Was she properly vetted? What does this decision say about Crazy Cousin John’s executive judgment?

Politics ain’t beanbag. The Democrats and the MSM smell blood in the water, and I have no idea what the result will be Nov. 4. Maybe, just maybe, the story of how “Bristol Gone Wild” got knocked up by Levi “f—in’ redneck” Johnston will strike a sympathetic chord in the American psyche, finally bringing out a pro-life majority.

Stranger things have happened, I suppose, and God moves in mysterious ways. But at this point, objectively, I’d say a Republican victory in November would be a miracle. Conservatives need to spend more time praying, and less time hassling capitalist bloggers who are guilty of nothing more sinister than shameless traffic-baiting.

UPDATE II: Just checked with Dr. Melissa Clouthier, who confirms that Levi had totally got the I-want-to-have-his-babies factor working in his favor: “He’s hot,” says Dr. Melissa.

UPDATE III: As much as studly young Levi brings out Dr. Melissa’s inner cougar, Little Miss Attila says she’s more eager to see shirtless photos of Todd Palin. Yeah — chicks dig the rugged, macho, 40-something dudes. I get that all the time.
September 2, 2008

Bristol Palin’s boyfriend, Levi Johnston

Musclehead 18-year-old hockey player:

Doe-eyed Bristol Palin, 17, and ruggedly handsome Levi Johnston, an 18-year-old self-described “f—in’ redneck,” have been dating a year, locals in Wasilla, Alaska, told the Daily News.
And the pregnancy? An open secret in the close-knit town of 9,780. . . .
On his MySpace page, Johnston proudly declares: “I’m a f—in’ redneck.”
“I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing,” he says on the site.
He also warns that if anyone messes with him, “I’ll kick ass.”

Way to go, f—in’ redneck. Your f—in’ stupidity might have just elected f—in’ Obama.

By the way, in my column today, I predicted it would take less than 24 hours for the press to ID Mr. Teen Inseminator, and they did the job in barely 12.

UPDATE: Somebody just e-mailed me this touchy-feely blog post about the Palin family, and it merely infuriates me:

I wish her and her husband-to-be and their baby safety and joy. And as much privacy as they can find. I intensely admire both her decision to choose life, and her decision to further sacrifice her privacy in order to support her mom for the betterment of our country. And as far as I’m concerned, that’s the end of that.

Don’t you people realize that politics ain’t beanbag? You’re up against the Democratic Party and the MSM, and they’re not going to cut you any slack. This is the biggest possible game for the highest possible stakes — the presidency of the United States — and all your tender-hearted concern for two teenagers in love isn’t worth squat in such a situation.

Send me no more such sentimental gush. It’s worse than useless at this point.

UPDATE II: The Washington Post put no fewer than five reporters on the story, including one who knocked on the door of Johnston’s family home in Wasilla. Did Team Maverick warn the Palin family about this?

UPDATE III: An anonymous commenter says I should “be ashamed” for “laying a trip like that on” Mr. Baby Daddy. Why? Because he’s a teenage jock? C’mon, who doesn’t know how teenage jocks behave? Do you really expect me to believe that Levi “f—in’ redneck” Johnston wasn’t bragging to all his buddies about nailing the governor’s daughter?

Why do you suppose Bristol’s pregnancy was “no secret” in Wasilla, hmmm? Because that musclehead braggart told everybody in town, that’s why. And I should be “ashamed” of denouncing this cretinous hoodlum? Make. Me. Laugh.

UPDATE IV: Jeralyn Merritt has started a pool on when Sarah Palin will resign from the ticket. I don’t think that will happen. Team Maverick is aware of the Eagleton precedent, and they know there’s no second chances on the veep pick. For better or worse, they’ve got to ride this one out.

UPDATE V: Levi is “sex on skates.” This kid might be the new pro-life poster boy because, apparently, lots of teenage girls (and some older ladies, too) would love to have his babies.