Archive for ‘Rule 3’

May 30, 2009

Flagrantly Myopic Judicial Ruminations Amaze

by Smitty

This week’s Full Metal Jacket Reach Around honors the female Latina woman of the opposite sex who will soon be feeling something about a Constitution near and dear to you.
We’re working with a selection of links culled from Technorati. If you feel neglected, please direct the SMTP flamethrower at Smitty, where you will receive better treatment than a GM/Chrysler bondholder.

  • The Blog Prof leads off with The Passion of the Crist, linking that GOP pink elephant. He also linked the pastor who was threatened out in California. Finally, he wonders aloud about Sonia S., after noting her educational credentials:

    “Can anyone be named to the SCOTUS that isn’t from one of these ivy-league liberal bastioons?”

    The answer is: No, and quit thinking about ‘spitoons’ while spelling ‘bastions’. It’s almost like you’re disrespecting the cradles of your elite blue-state overlords, or something.

  • Jimmy, proprieter of The Sundries Shack, liked my turn of phrase. His one-line take on Sonia is also painfully apt: If you need a one-line summation of Judge Sotomayor’s judicial philosophy, it seems to be this: to her thinking, the law is what she says it is.
  • Stephen Green picked this blog for #2 in the cloudy-tubes Question of the Week: Tucker Freaking Carlson?. More to follow on that one.
  • Robert, at the Camp of the Saints, joined the Not One Red Cent movement. He appreciates the optimism in the “Battle of the Bulge” line. He laughs at Freddie’s stream of bile over on OG. He adds RSM to his excellent WWU-AM page. Juxtaposing the Illuminatus Trilogy with Richard Pryor is brilliant! Furthermore, he picked up the Nashville Muslim Protest Shutdown story. Best of all, he emailed me directly, as he flys below the Technorati radar.
  • Apparently there is a place called “stapundit”. Also, there is a blogger, “instapundit”, who liked us on the bond post and he threw out a “Heh” at Stacy’s suggestion of a Tennessee SCOTUS nominee. I think I may have heard of this “instapundit” once before, but I’m not sure where.
  • The Daily Gator predicts a short fight. To recap:

Listen to the Muppets, people:

  • The Gator also thought the ‘courts make policy’ clip was a ‘scream’, of sorts, but you’ll have to follow the link to see what I mean.
  • Rumblepak couldn’t wait for an RSM rebuttal to Dreher, so he provided one:

    What conservatism needs is leadership and aggressive spokespersons who unabashedly advocate conservative ideas.

    He follows up here, with some bonus Jonah

  • Donald Douglas links us On the Relevance of Intramural Ideological Disputes. He cued off of “What DealerGate Says About the Conservative ‘Message’ Problem” in On the Chrysler Dealergate Controversy. As an academic, I’m surprised that he didn’t come at it from this angle: public sector is to private sector as educators are to students. Mixing the two is an occasion to call in The Police. I’m sure he’s linked more, but the Technorati gawdz have fumbled the URLs. Sorry, sir.
  • Dan Collins slid us some linkage on The Death of Literary Studies. The death of studies, in general, can be linked to the idea that you can deconstruct almost anything.
  • The Troglopundit only came through with one URL, a holiday roundup. But I do love the Pig graphic, Lance. Mmmmm, bacon.
  • Another Black Conservative picked up the because you’re wrong post. Definitely a “follow” blog over there on Blogspot. A.B.C. also has The Black Sphere in the sidebar, which features some primo material.
  • The New Republic has a blogger named Christopher Orr who observed the Levin fracas last week and quotes Freddie deBoer saying RSM:

    …is most assuredly not one of the Ordinary Americans he is here glamorizing.

    Freddie: I’ve hung out with RSM in a dive bar. While he’s better-read than 95% of the population, this has not mutated him into an Ive-league slack-jaw in the slightest.

  • The Creaky Pavillion thinks that “offend a feminist” should reall be “offend a woman”. The blog title looks Cyrillic, and the other posts hint that something may be getting lost in translation.
  • The Fishwrangler liked the RSM phrasing:

    “The idea that you pull back from a fight because someone is from a different ethnic group is part of the mistake Republicans made and how we got President Obama in the first place.”

  • Michael Doerr at the Race 4 2008 was massively unimpressed with RSM’s pointing to rumors of homosexuality as a possible negative for Charlie Crist.
  • The Rat Nest has “long maintained that [ Bill Clinton’s] greatest ability in the economic sector was to keep out of the kitchen.” This was in the context of ‘What did I tell you about bonds?’
  • Pat in Shreveport rounded up Sotomayor links, including this humble blog, adding an interesting Mark Rubio quote.
  • Jason at The Western Experience “clear[ed] up the part about “double natural reflexes.”” in the Sean Penn post. It involved pressing “the button”.
  • Adam’s Web published the blogger love note to Sen. Cornyn. This closing was thoughtful:

    As Morrissey points out, a similar tactic is causing friction among New York Democrats even coming from the far more popular Obama White House. Already Cornyn is having to dodge questions on Facebook and in blogger conference calls and has a brushfire of anomosity building up. Now would be a good time for a graceful retreat to neutrality.

  • Clark at The American Conservative liked McCain’s description of Dreher as “the bearded Church Lady”.
  • Meanwhile, the full snore at The League of Ordinary Milquetoasts entitled “the ballad of RSM” tries to come to Dreher’s defense. This ballad is so lyric as to leave one pining for The Other Other McCain doing Barbara Streisand. Freddie, you’re teh best.
  • QuoteGator says something that Freddie & ilk would do well to hear, in the context of Colin Powell’s whinining about Bush and Cheney:

    Being Democrat Lite has gotten Republicans nowhere. It’s about damned time that they man up and stand up for the values that made the Republican Party what it was.

  • Dan Riehl linked us while commenting upon the sad isolation of David Frum. *mope*
  • Roth & Company thank this blog for the link that brought the traffic. You’re welcome.

Then there are those that we’d like to link in greater detail, but whose URLs did not make it through the grinder:
Please fight the injustice by sending your links directly to Smitty. And hit the tip jar.


  • Dustbury merges HillBuzz with RSM on the Dr. Utopia question.
  • Politics and Critical Thinking responded to the URL bleg with two Sotomayor posts of the worth-your-time variety:
    • Reasons Conservatives Might Use to Oppose Sotomayor Nomination
    • Sonia Sotomayor and Legal Opinions on her Nomination
    • If Smitty was on the Senate Judiciary Committee, here’s what I would do. I would gather all of the absurd leftist blovinations from hearings for Roberts, Alito, Thomas, Bork, etc. I would edit them down to fit my microphone time. I would change the wording to fit the Sotomayor context. I would change the spirit of them such that they were clearly connected to the preceding hearing, but swerved at the last second to say gracious things about Sotomayor. Get all of the Republican Senators together, and have a group stand-up comedy routine that says: “Have your desired candidate. Know that we have laughed, in your face, at length, and in detail for what a circus clown act you’ve made of Senate Confirmation hearings.” In other words, I think a protracted, leftist fight over Sotomayor runs the risk of pyrrhic victory. However, a well-crafted Thermopylae (if you will) could contribute to galvanizing “We the people” into further gallant acts in the face of our modern liberal/Persian invaders. Then again, I could be vastly overestimating the skill of the Senate GOP. But, as they say in Cockney Rhyming Slang, just a “tear in a bucket”.

  • The Skepticrats had a couple of links: RSM on Fire, and The Sensitive Mr. Dreher, both of which relate to RSM’s scorched earth approach to RINO habitat maintenance, Mr. Deher’s sad little patch in particular.
  • From Chance, at Right of Course we have four choice links:
  • Little Miss Attila links What DealerGate Says About the Conservative ‘Message’ Problem, along with revelations about what she does to deal with said difficulty. You should subscribe to LMA in your RSS and savor every post.

Update II:Carol at No Sheeples Here has a complementary FMJRA post of her own, well worth your time.

Update III:Chad: there is no excuse, but please accept a plea to push links so I can do The Right Thing. Purely a sin of omission, not commission, and your aid is sought.

May 23, 2009

Finally, My Joy Returns. Ahhhh!

by Smitty

This week’s Full Metal Jacket Reach-Around is once again brought to you by Technorati, which seems to have recovered some of its mojo. No, I did not unleash some sort of virus to cover my flaking off the last couple of weeks. The cover was convenient, however. Back on task, the Porch Manqué brings the linky-love.

  • We’ll start off at the Sundries Shack. He linked us on the Maureen Dowd cut-and-paste triumph. Hey, I just realized: Maureen Dowd and Arianna Huffington are distinct people. You may all envy the quality of my liberal nitwit filter. He didn’t hesitate to join the Not One Red Cent movement.
  • No Runny Eggs printed the full memo to Senator Cornyn: No Endorsy Jackass.
  • Right of Course linked a Green Room post on the Obama conquest of Notre Dame. In a follow-up, RoC breaks out the “C” word

    I just wanted to add one more point about the whole forced diversity idea. One more consequence of this type of policy is a sort of defacto communism.

    . Finally, RoC linked the Cheney Tortures Pelosi post.

  • Perennial favorite Donald Douglas brings the linkage. The Larry Summers reference in Diversity Through Homogenization caught his eye.
  • Dad29 endorsed Rubio of Florida, allowing that “Not One Red Cent” is more polite than he’d have been. He hat tipped the Weaver post, likening bad political strategists to Taking Medical Advice From Musicians. Now, Brian May is a Dr., and Queen certainly rocks that progressive utopianism. So what’s not to like?
  • Obi’s Sister got on the Not One Red Cent Bandwagon. We also made another roundup of hers, which has the nearly sacrilegious line Marco Rubio is the Anti-Crist. But we like it edgy like that.
  • Another blog-buddy, Carol got into the 8 random facts meme. She had a rather sports-centric entry, I thought. And she has a formidable FMJRA post of her own.
  • This blog made a Paco roundup. He also appears to have approved of my entry in his Michael Moor caption contest, though I think I missed a verb in there.
  • Dustbury linked us explicitly to shame us for not having added him to the blog roll. As his post was on the topic of attractive ladies, the Clever S.Logan seemed good company.
  • Jules Crittenden linked in the Cheney Tortures Pelosi post amidst a sizable roundup on the topic.
  • William Teach had a fine Instapundi-ism: “They said if George Bush Barack Obama was elected president, sex ed would be taught at the kindergarten level. And they were right!”, and he linked the Girl Scouts post. Hope, change, and rainbow-defecating unicorns for all my friends!
  • Pamela Geller was right there for the Not One Red Cent moment. I, for one, would pay to see that lady on The View. I’d even TiVo the twisted piles of human wreckage Gellar would leave in her wake.
  • This blog got linked by DavidL in celebration of Stacy’s gas guzzler. Eric Florack at the same blog asked to get on the
    Not One Red Cent list. One of the nice aspects of this is that, contrary to Connecticut, Rubio is not about substituting a rich goon for a Senator.
  • Moe Lane heaped abuse on Stacy’s taste in beer:

    Corona is the beer-flavored beverage of choice for your giggly coworker who hasn’t gotten over the fact yet that the bartender always makes a big deal out of putting a lime wedge in her bottle.

Thanks to the power of YouTube, we can link in the (NSFW, language) Monty Python take on American Beer, which probably applies North or South of the Rio Grande:

  • Oraculations is on the Not One Red Cent bandwagon.
  • Pat in Shreveport also celebrated the viral nature of Not One Red Cent.
  • Sparty at Political Bear seems to have a problem with the new fuel-efficiency standards. Something about ‘we are losing our freedoms’. I don’t remember what they were.
  • We made back to back installments on Canada’s Steynian blog.
  • The Blogstitution links the Green Room/Diversity Through Homogenization pieces. These cultural observations are dead on, but they are built upon a foundation of historical ignorance and disregard for the Constitution. The net effect is that we are headed for feudalism. The brilliance of the collectivist movement is that they have tricked the voters into asking for it, vampire style.
  • Kathy Shaidle appreciated the amazing professional value of a bad reputation. Which begs for a Joan Jett break:

  • The Political Castaway floats the idea of an Obama-Hannan debate:

    I would pay good money to watch Hannen take Obama in a debate. Eloquence vs. Uh….; Extempranous vs. Telepromter.

    I’m sure the sycophants would think it ‘unfair’.

  • The Political Bear noted Stacy’s disinterest in fuel efficiency, and even trotted out the F word. *gasp*.
  • Allahpundit did link Stacy on the Newsweek downgrade, even if Stacy hasn’t made top billing on HotAir yet. So at least that’s something.
  • Mr. Kat over at Jumping in Pools noted that Stacy had linked Robert Smith Jr. (no relation) while Stacy was wondering aloud if the general Democratic case of cranial-rectalitis might be starting to abate, at least in Michigan. It’s just too early to tell.
  • Gabriel Malor is less negative on the Newsweek strategy shift. But at least he quoted this blog.
  • The Patriot Room also picked up the When Democrats Start to Doubt in a roundup.
  • Monique appears to have been close to the epicenter of the blog pox.
  • We get some lefty love from Up Yer Noz:

    i just can’t get over how quickly and completely the GOP has fallen. and i can’t get over how what’s left of the party base simply doesn’t tolerate any effort to make them electable again.

    What’s fascinating about the Left is their non-grasp of the fundamental Constitutional issues at stake.

  • The Poliblogger also takes Stacy to task

    And there’s more along these lines, all in post entitled “RINO-ism and the Demographics of Defeat.”
    There are two rather major problems with his “analysis.”

    • First, the party isn’t losing its base, it is losing everything else.
    • Second, the Rove strategy, especially in 2004, was a base mobilization strategy, not a treat the base like doormats strategy. Indeed, the Bush/Rove years were not exactly exemplified by the GOP going out and forming a party based on what McCain would call RINOs–indeed, it was just the opposite.

  • Stop the ACLU picked up on “Future Femi-Nazis of America!”
  • Veloicworld linked a Rubio post, and included a Dennis Hopper clip from Blue Velvet, I think, that is more than a little disturbing.
  • Generation Patriot links the Ah, The Joys Of Guilt By Association post. And is this not true for all conservative bloggers?
  • Lance honors the neo-Confederate white supremacist xenophobic bigoted nativist hatemonger, but his WordPress site is either not properly registered on Technorati, or there is some wardrobe malfunction occurring between the two sites. Technorati may be the more likely culprit. So we’re not always getting the links through the Army of Clonebots. Of course, they could be at fault, too, but admitting this would involve something like objectivity. And the Porch Manqué got his from Andrew Sullivan, so you’re all beat there. Cutting to the chase, if I’ve omitted you, it’s not a sin of commission. Please deliver an SMTP flogging to smitty to amend any oversights.

For example, I’d like to hear more from:

And do hit the tip jar, so that I can get some better table scraps. And have a blessed Memorial Day weekend.

Pundit and Pundette are helping with the technical difficulties. Technorati thinks they are chopped liver, apparently. But chopped liver doesn’t care much for the decay of schools and organizations like Girls Scouts.
They also proudly linked the Mark Rubio clip, never forgetting the Greatness of America. We still have another 42 months to go?

May 9, 2009

Full Metal Jacket Saturday

by Smitty

Sending this week’s Full Metal Jacket Reach Around installment from Las Vegas. Not so much fear and loathing here, though there is some shock and awe from seeing the Blue Man Group.

  • Why the Troglopundit called Stacy a big doodyhead isn’t exactly clear. The Trgolopundit makes an understandable mistake, so let me clarify: it was always ‘My Sharona’, not my sharia.
  • Apparently this post is composed not too far from Right of Course, who linked the Carrie Prejean topless photo, and set off to make enemies IAW Rules 3 and 4, without mentioning any enemies resulting.
  • The Classic Liberal linked the CP topless photo.
  • Carolyn Tackett lays down the new rules of racism: white, southern, Christian, conservative. Depending on how exactly you define ‘southern’, I’m between 300% and 400% racist. Thanks for organizing the community, Identity Politics!
  • Protein Wisdom Linked us on the Dijongate condiment kerfluffle.
  • The Blog Prof picked up the demographics of dhimmitude clip.
  • Adrienne’s Catholic Corner connected the dots between an article on lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning* (LGBTQ) issues in San Francisco and the Joe no memo post.
    *questioning why this horrible eyesore of an acronym must afflict our lives.
  • The wonderfully named Gold-Plated Witch on Wheels sums up my opinion on the CP pic:

    I’m not sure how nude photos invalidate support for traditional marriage, but I’ve never claimed to understand the liberal mind.

    Goldie, it’s important to avoid arguing with a drunkard or a fool.

  • The Rude News linked the demographics of dhimmitude amongst a thoughtful review of the European demographic meltdowon.
  • Below the Beltway hat tipped us for pointing out the inadequacy of public education.
  • Carlos Echevarria hat tipped the Glen Beck ACORN ejection video.
  • Jamie Jeffords celebrates National Offend a Feminist Week and Rule 5 at the same time. Which brings up the point that you need to get your input to Smitty for inclusion in the Rule 5 Sunday post, which I’ll be composing from Denver on the way back to Virginia.
  • Stacy picked up a Quote of the Day from No Runny Eggs for “Lie down with Bushes, wake up with Democrats.”
  • This blog was linked on Gay Patriot in a Carrie Prejean overview that contains the following quotable passage:

    While I’ve read more than I care to about this controversy, I have yet to find one statement she has made showing a fear (”phobia”) of homosexuals or showing any animosity whatsoever against gay people. All I’ve heard her is express the viewpoint of a majority of Americans, including the Democratic President of the United States about the meaning of marriage.
    Sorry, fellas, that’s just not homophobia.

Stacy points out the need for a National Offend a Feminist Week Roundup, and how can we fail to deliver?:

Update II
A couple of readers have pointed out some ludicrous oversights on my part. While I am not responsible for the Scare Force One debacle, I will take the hit for my boo-boobery.

  • Carol asked: “WTF Is This? RSM Declared Me The Winner Of NOAFW!” to which I can only reply with Olypic-grade groveling. The point was to offend Feminists, not good conservative women.
  • The WyBlog was similarly curious about this post and another one on teacher tenure follies
  • We also overlooked a good roundup over at Generation Patriot
  • Rumblepak had a brace of posts: The Swiss Cheese Logic of Meghan McCain (not to imply anything pejorative about a fine fromage, mind you) and an excellent meditation on the torture situation.
  • And Dustbury offers: “When it comes to females,” observed Sir Mix-A-Lot, “Cosmo ain’t got nothin’ to do with my selection.” As an ’87 graduate of Franklin High School in Seattle, I approve a all Mix-a-Lot quotations.

Here is a recap on the posts for the week:

  1. Kickoff
  2. Cosmo Syndrome
  3. How to Reply
  4. Army Input
  5. Traditional Agenda

The clonebots appear to have been distracted by something shiny here in Vegas. If blog amongst the following URLs, and feel slighted by an omission due to Technorati or the clonebots, please forward the URLs directly to me for inclusion.
For example, Stephen Green at The Examiner noted Stacy’s contributions to fighting the good fight on several occasions. People we’d like to hear more from include the following:

April 25, 2009

Foolishness Makes Janeane Really Annoying

by Smitty
Today’s backronym for the Full Metal Jacket Reach Around brought to you discourteously by Janeane Garofalo, whose chief meaningful contribution was something beginning with “J”. To work. There seem to be for major categories of bloggers: journalists (whom you’d expect), lawyers (Insty, PowerLine), academics (American Power), and, finally, the armchair types (me). While there is the occasional Bob’s Bar and Grill that can serve up “just folks” in an engaging manner, the better bloggers are those who make a living off of thinking and writing.

In the third category is a Poli-Sci prof out in SoCal named Douglas, who has glommed onto the fact that hyperactively hyperlinking this site is the best traffic driver this side of the mighty Instapundit.

  • Don linked Don’t believe the blog hype in his reaction to Mark Penn’s posting on blogging as America’s newest profession. I rather think most of us are treating it as the oldest profession, no? Except Charles Johnson, who seems to be treating blogging as an occasion for the second oldest profession. Guesses as to the third oldest profession abound. For the sake of argument, let’s consider excavation as a candidate for third oldest:

    And if a man shall open a pit, or if a man shall dig a pit, and not cover it, and an ox or an ass fall therein; The owner of the pit shall make it good, and give money unto the owner of them; and the dead beast shall be his.–Exodus 21:33-34

    Who gets Perez Hilton?

    The whole point is as neatly summarized here as anywhere:

    Prager: “I want gays to have every right. However, redefining marriage is not called for.”
    That’s the key point, by the way. Not simply “civil rights” (which gays enjoy), but the interchangeability of language. Prager hammers Hilton on precisely this issue, and he held himself up quite well; while Hilton responded with same stale talking points from radical gay marriage ayatollahs.

    I know what ‘radical’, ‘gay’, ‘marriage’, and ‘ayatollah’ mean in isolation. However, the combinatorial paradoxes of the four symbols together are astounding. This level of cognitive dissonance could only be brought about by a modern-day Helen of Troy. Donald’s celebration of beauty in his blog honors creation and Rule 5.

  • Suzanna Logan remains coy on whether or not she’s one of those women in comfortable shoes. Irrespective of personal choices, she came out swinging on the whineyness of the current generation, though she came nowhere near arguing in favor of feeding them all SoyJoy. Recommendation: do not join the Navy, as the food may not quite be for you. 😉 However, that raging blogger paycheck will certainly keep you in SoyJoy more or less indefinitely.
  • Monique Stewart recalls an old family saying on the waterboarding question: “if you’re looking for sympathy, it’s in the dictionary between scatological and syphilis.” (Not far from SoyJoy, it suddenly occurs to me.) She responded to fellow knock-out conservative blogger Clever S.Logan with a firm caution about generalizations. Some people work hard to earn that SoyJoy.
  • The Judge, of course, weighed in on the S.Logan/Monique brat-worst. I won’t tell you the final outcome, but I will say that we’re going to need a re-match.
  • The Troglopundit picked up the Miss California torch from Douglas. His attentions were drawn elsewhere, to the S.Logan/HotMES imbroglio:

    Suzanna Logan thinks our society is spoiled. Monique Stuart says “I am not!” A debate ensues. Smitty casts his eyes downward and hopes nobody notices him.

    Oh Trog-a-delic one: why, pray tell, are your eyes drawn to me, instead of the two ladies? Wait: I un-ask that question. Please do not respond in any way.He then goes on to notice this blog linking him on the Kerry ‘what shall we bail out this week?’ story, and says: “R.S. McCain…seems to think I’m trying to shake him down for money when, in fact, I’m trying to shoulder him out of the way.” Wow. We give great advice and substantial linky-love, and get treated like a capitalistic idea at an Obama staff meeting.

  • Pundit and Pundette linked us with the ironic video of Carville saying that the Tea Parties had too many old people. I’m just glad they identified the fellow, as I mistook him for T. Herman Zweibel. They picked up the Suzanna/Monique story and added some interesting thoughts. When it came to the blogo-bucks story, their reply was: “Don’t hold your breath, kids.”
  • Carol’s Closet is not a welcome place for Philip of Who-Whom. In reply to his comments on the waterboarding post, she said

    What’s got me so fired up? Phillip’s comments from this post at The Other McCain. Read his comments and wrap you head around the fact that given the choice between another Breslin School massacre or a 9-11 or waterboarding a terrorist Phillips thinks it is more civil and Christian to let the planes fly and the kids die.

    I’m not sure I agree. Leaders typically do not have a clear choice like: do X or Y happens. It’s all probabilistic, and ambiguous. Hence all the debate. Philip would likely make the least-worst decision, if circumstances dictate. It’s retaining patience with the likes of Philip while he gets there that remains the challenge. She also linked us in a potent little roundup of that pack of cretinsour government

  • Paco belatedly tried to get in on the Rule 5 game by posting a mere URL to a woman in a wedding dress with a shotgun and evidence of Cheney-esque prowess. But you’ve got to go that extra mile and actually embed the photo, Paco. However, he blows the lid off of the Stacy McCain palatial estate scandal. He knows more than I, the mere Porch Manqué at the lesser guest-house. Good work.
  • This blog made the Kuru Lounge around the moronosphere in 60 minutes roundup three times in the last week. Good news, bad news, who can say? They also support us on the waterboarding issue. Take that, Young 4 Eyes.
  • Moe Lane thought that the revelation of RSM’s vast income from blogging was sad/funny. Moe also linked a mandatory viewing video on the Evil HR875. We need to amp this up. And Moe needs to do a better job of flagging Rule 5 video of Shelly Roach. Dude.
  • In what I thought would be something linking the Monique/S.Logan post, Carol linked the Carrie Prejean post. Isn’t calling Perez Hilton a woman just a little misogynistic?
  • Ed Driscoll liked the Neo-Confederate Lesbian post (if Perez can be a woman, why not RSM? Me–too ugly for chick-tacularity) Ed’s other angle on the story was Separation Of Church And Blitz.
  • The Shack-tacular Jimmie had a Rule 5 entry that we’ll merrily recycle. I read the title of A Few More Dunks Wouldn’t Have Bothered Me and my mind put an ‘r’ in the fourth word. I look at my tea cup and wonder: was that Earl Grey or Pink Floyd?
  • Pamela Geller, whom I got to thank personally at CPAC for the work involved in bringing Geert Wilders to speak, quotes RSM at length in response for his support. In pointing out the true nature of Mr. Johnson, there was some collateral damage. Sorry, Green Bay Packer fans.
  • The Cranky Conservative agrees with us that Jeff Goldstein nailed the left rather effectively. I’d roll back a step and agree with JG as follows: their arguments stem from a fundamentally flawed view of existence.
  • Fisherville Mike discovered the power of Carrie Prejean bikini pics. He also offers the following observation:

    When I saw this line in Brooks’ column – Obama is positioning the Democrats as the party of order, responsibility and small-town values. If he pulls this mantle away from the Republicans, it would be the greatest train robbery in American politics. – I thought “Just because a guy wears a dress doesn’t make him a woman.”

    Aye, lad:

  • The BlogProf connects the South Park fish-stick joke with David Axelrod. Rather well, too. He also liked the John Galt speech. I thought it tedious, and skipped it in the book.
  • Hyscience was less generous in reviewing Axelrod:

    I view Axelrod’s statement as more than offensive, I see it as another frightening indication of the Obama Administration’s views and policies regarding free speech and dissent.

    That was patriotic, once. Charles Johnson gets an equally negative billing.

  • Stephen Gordon offers a warning to government officials about the wrath of the people.
  • The Pirate’s Cove pointed to the play-by-play on the LGF war. What’s interesting is how mired in the past people become on these matters.
  • Dad29 rogered up for the repeal of the Patriot Act. The good news about this administration is that it, along with the tubie-webs, has got a lot more people thinking about what they want the government actually to do. The bad news is that there is about 100 years of increasing centralization against which to fight.
  • Clueless McCain The Younger, i.e. Meghan, took the coveted Useful Idiot Day award over at Obi’s Sister. Prize: a dog in the purse, apparently.
  • Lead and Gold lamented having missed Brooks Fisking Day.
  • The Future Republican Senator has some Rule Five-age.
  • Commander Salamander linked the Alabama speech. Go, Sal’!

  • The Creaky Pavillion caught up with one of RSM’s musings from weeks past.
  • Cyber Economics links the WSJ blogging loot article. Desert Survivor concludes: “Since its start, this blog has had 4124 page impressions and has earned me a grand total of 65 cents.” Let’s see what the FMJRA can do for you. Did you get linky-love from anyone else you mentioned? Who loves ya?
  • Maggies Farm added us to their blogroll, amidst a fine roundup.
  • Mickey’s Heavy Haul seems to have discovered some ugly truths about politics. There is a certain disadvantage to being a practical sort of fellow, when encountering a politician…
  • Eric Etheridge at starts off a survey of torture memo release responses with RSM’s Dunk ’em Again.
  • Rust Belt Philosophy also quoted RSM at length on the torture memos, albeit more favorably.
  • Meanwhile, Mark J. Goluskin calls Carrie Prejean “heroine”. Just pay attention to the “e” on the end of that, or the DEA will be after you. Kind of like the second “r” in “let angels prostrate fall”. Why does humor involving spelling and punctuation fascinate me so?
  • Tha Anchoress isn’t buying off on the blogging loot rumor:

    Most of the time I don’t make $900.00 in a month!
    I blog for the love of it – because I love to write – but now I’m wondering if I’m just doing it wrong! If there is big money to be made in blogging, it has managed to sneak past me.

    And we love you for your love, ma’am.

  • In the same boat is Political Byline.
  • Tigerhawk also poo-poohs the blogging loot rumor, but adds interesting Instapundit speculation. If Insty is doing well, God bless the man. Envy is just not my strong suit. Which might explain why I’m not politically on the left.
  • Dustbury isn’t raking the blog loot, either: “I’m delighted to be running at less than a triple-digit loss each year.”
  • The Classic Liberal applauded the Alabama speech.
  • True News From Change NYC posts a link roundup of truly bagel-like density. May have more URLs than this monster, in fact. If you follow them all, you get a free mouse.
  • Balloon Juice took RSM’s sarcasm for humor.
  • Our favorite Canadian noted the Pam Geller post.
  • Steve Taylor at the Poli Blog links us and PowerLine with dismay that many “conservatives” do see themselves as the defenders of so-called “enhanced interrogation techniques.” I think it has more to do with winning the conflict than sadism, Steve. Somewhere between Neville Chamberlain and the Marquis de Sade is the “reasonable” position. The tradeoffs involved are empirical and ugly.
  • Redstate noted the former VP doubling down on the torture memos.
  • Tito Perdue does an NYT death dance: “I do so hope The New York Times collapses economically, a denouement that balances and more than balances any sort of recession you care to postulate.”
  • There is a good roundup of the LGF/Atlas Shrugged/Jihad Watch kerfluffle at Wake Up America.
  • The Blowback Department:

  • The Most Annoying Distortion of the Week Award (MADWA) goes to Evil Bender, who begins:

    As many of my readers will have already observed, there’s some high quality misogynist wingnuttery being emitted from R. S. McCain. Like someone embarrassed to have passed gas, McCain first puts up a post that clearly works under the assumption that women are merely objects to be used by men. When this is pointed out, he fires off some updates to his post, all designed to shield him from the accusations he brought upon himself by his overtly despicable original post.

    I’ve hung out with Stacy, can affirm that this EB is AFU. However, we include it here in the name of full disclosure. Not everyone seems to grasp the essential grooviness of this blog.

  • On the heels of Evil Bender comes Heretical Ideas, which blog thinks that Republicans Should Just Admit They’re Klingons. I’ve always felt myself more a Romulan, Alex, when I’m floating in fictional realms. It’s a subjective call, I admit.
  • IntoxiNation labels RSM a “wingnut extraordinaire”, and asks:

    Now I wonder how many of these wingnuts are gladly accepting the tax cuts under Obama? If they really believe what they say, then shouldn’t they give the money back, or better yet – donate it to a mega corporation of their choice? Prove you mean what you write. Yeah – I doubt that will happen.

    No, we won’t gladly accept tax cuts. We’ll fight the disgusting premise of the 16th Amendment, that’s what we’ll do. This country didn’t fight for liberation from King George III only to anoint King POTUS Assclown Whoever (not necessarily BHO).

  • Lawyers, Guns and Money (great graphic, BTW) labels RSM Robert Stacy “Emmett Till Had It Coming” McCain and also produces a runner up for the MADWA award, as if supporting Pam Geller equals making it “acceptable for American conservatives to form alliances with neo-fascists”
  • PoliGazette is in mother hen mode:

    Furthermore, GoV and AS have gone off the deep end, and Charles is right to point out that they have and continue to associate with far-right parties and individuals. “Anti-Jihad” bloggers, as they call themselves, have become Anti-Muslim, Anti-Islam, Anti-Tolerance, and Anti-Equality. Reading the comment sections of these websites is a horrific experience for all who care somewhat about common decency and tolerance. These people – again, I am not talking about people like Donald or Robert S. McCain for they are not “anti-Jihad bloggers” but simply conservative bloggers who are also foreign policy hawks – have become radicals in their own right. Associating with them does not merely destroy one’s credibility, it is also a crime against decency.
    To conservative bloggers like RSM and DD I have only this to say: make no mistake about it, AS and GoV are not ‘conservative blogs.’ Nor are they websites you should be associated with. They are ignorant radicals driven by hate. Conservatives everywhere are wise to distance themselves as much as possible from them.

    PG: I yawn at you. Get some rest.

  • Nappycat is included for completeness, and that’s about it. The link in question is a sarcastic review of the Plan-B post that isn’t even interesting flamebait.
  • Apologies in advance to the following blogs that linked us, but didn’t make it through the Technorati/Smitty filter:

  • faustasblog
  • trackacrat
  • adriennescatholiccorner
  • backyardconservative
  • bitchphd
  • politicalcastaway
  • dogfightatbankstown
  • ennuipundit
  • mahablog
  • nationalcenter
  • ordinary-gentlemen
  • celebritypaycut
  • unitedliberty
  • theendzone
  • mudswimmer
  • grandpajohn
  • newsmediamagazine
  • socialnetworksguru


  • This roundup was compiled by Frequent CommenterPorch Manqué Smitty using his army of high-tech clone robots, and emacs. If you’ve linked us in the past week and are not linked back here, all complaints/requests/death threats should be e-mailed to Smitty, who will either (a) update this post to include you, (b) make sure to give you extra linkage in next week’s FMJ Saturday roundup, or (c) hunt you down and beat you into a comma (or other punctuation of your choice).
  • To be linked in Rule 5 Sunday, please follow the Official Guidelines, post your cheesecake/beefcake before 9 p.m. Saturday, and e-mail the URL to Smitty.
  • The Other McCain is not responsible for items lost or stolen while reading this blog, and disclaims responsibility for computer damage caused by spontaneous coffee spew.
April 18, 2009

Freedom Meets Jeering Response Again

By Smitty
After a substantial buildup, the Tea Parties seemed to be exactly what you wanted: lots of principled dissent, zero violence. The initial pull of Technorati URLs exceeds 120 links. If we’ve overlooked you for some technical reason, flog me with the rubber chicken.

We’ll meander through the suspects. Some are becoming familiar enough that I’ll doubt they mind allowing a few newcomers to bubble up, for variety’s sake.

In accordance with Rule 2, let the Full Metal Jacket Reach Around begin!

  • Paco starts us off with an object lesson in Rule 2: create an award, and declare This Blog the winner. The rest of you, take note. He notices RSM’s review of Insty’s NYP column, and muses at length over leftist idiocy (but I repeat myself). His RevolutionTea Party post is amusing. I must admit that I don’t understand how he thinks Pelosi can mend a city on stilts. I hear botox induces vertigo. She’d fall and shatter her face.
  • Cynthia appears to have enjoyed the gore-thrower picture in excellent climate change review. She chides us gently for not ignoring Meghan on gay marriage. We’re all in character here. Her thoughts on giving a Tea Party interview are worth bookmarking–you know that the protest is merely at the beginning stage, don’t you? She got a bit esoteric with the tetra-gammadion photo for the first mandatory volunteer camp. Don’t you just feel the re-education?
  • Donald Douglas had an impressive roundup of Tea Party links. He roundly denounced the DHS ‘screw you’ note to the right wing.
    He also managed to find a photo of RSM wearing more than a Speedo. RSM took the stage himself to announce to the Tea Party attendees: You don’t have to call me “Darlin'”, Darlin’. He also blended Rules 2 and 5 most agreeably.
  • Dad29 started the week with a pointed Tea Party Wolverines reminder. He also liked the contrast offered of between the Tea Parties and other protests. His initial reaction to the DHS slam-o-gram concluded with the following observation:

    Given that Planned Parenthood was founded by a racist/eugenecist (whose admirers included A. Hitler), and that the vast majority of their locations are proximate to minority populations, what actual, real-live “white supremacist” would object to abortion?

    The next day his misgivings about the DHS ‘screw you’ increased, though he was still unsure the report was real. While we should continue to hope for the best from our government, the lesson here is that healthy skepticism is an increasing requirement.

  • Pundit and Pundette liked the pirate roundup, and had some helpful links of their own.
    Their Right Wing Extremist post also features a Navy classic which, prior to 9/11, was only flown by the senior ship in the active fleet (USS Constitution notwithstanding).
  • The Pirate’s Cove knows for whom to cheer. They also picked up the Bush Blaming post. Did you know that DHS-srew-you report was also W’s fault?
  • Carolyn Tackett took some umbrage at a comment by our zampolit, Young 4 Eyes. Y4E: you’ve triggered the creation of a “Spank the Weasel” day over in the closet. As a non-weasel, it is my intention to remain ignorant of the details, but Carolyn is rumored to have amazing dexterity with pliers and blowtorch. She also linked the astroturfing post.
  • The BlogProf admits to a severe case of clickophilia. We’re feeling you, man. Why else do you think we get our FMJRA on? He joined in the mockery of the DHS-screw-you report with a fitting demotivator. And he echoed my sentiments on the equally despicable Penn State video. Students: can’t live with them, can’t do anything unspeakable to them.
  • Troglopundit’s wholly original cure for the GOP:

    If only we could move beyond this totally bummer anti-plus-size rhetoric, maybe the Republican Party could be a majority party again.

    He was nonplussed at the thought of lefty infiltrators at his local tea party. He did condescend to offer a roundup of media coverage of the Tea Parties. Finally, he offers Rule 5 speculation about George Lucas. This blog demands further photographic research before coming to any conclusions.

  • Moe Lane wants to know if you’re a right wing extremist, too. This prompts a musical interlude:


    His characterization of Andrew Sullivan is itself worth more than the man’s opinion. He cleverly throws down a link on his podcast page, knowing that we’ll slavishly link him. Fausta’s voice is the more interesting of the two. Sorry, Moe. Three levels of bloggers, eh? Ah, he mentions the blog by name.

  • The Backyard Conservative linked to RSM’s AmSpec article on “The Left’s Coordinated Message Operation”. She also had a Jeremiah Wright moment, peering into the nasty possible future afforded by collectivist policies.
  • Meanwhile, Obi’s Sister took substantial interest in the pirate situation and the Portugese water dog. She also has a quality rant on the Florida Highway Patrol.
  • The Classic Liberal has been added to “the Top 100 Libertarian Blogs and Websites at The Humble Libertarian!” TCL also notes that the DHS-screw-you report came on the heels of “releasing the report titled The Modern Militia Movement.”
  • Political Byline slammed the Green Room as “Just another Neo-Conservative echo chamber”. Paleo Pat also pooh-poohed the rightosphere reaction to the DHS-screw-you report. As a veteran myself, I think the reaction has been rather tame. We just need a standing Friday afternoon screamfest down in Lafayette Park. This administration, based on three months of flailing, can be counted upon to provide plenty of material to scream about.
  • Chapomatic caught up with the Rick Moran post rather cryptically:

    I observed when in DC that there were two types of Congressional staffers with which I would interact: the interns straight out of college getting the resume bullet, and the professional staffers who ran the place.

  • Kirbside liked the WOW “Leeroy Jenkins” reference. No, I don’t WOW and hadn’t heard of the reference. Just glad the whole thing didn’t turn out to be a self-Leeroy-ing. Kirside may also be developing a blogcrush on HotMES. This blog is a strong proponent of romance in these dark days.
  • Under a genuinely cool graphic, Lab Experiments had an interesting Tea Party preview

    What is it that we, Media Matters and its progeny must be concerned with? What do we care if people protest, if they are confident in the power of their views? We must be concerned with not appearing to be or painted as fearful of these folks while opposing them.
    The answer lies in one of the most ingenious marketing events of all time, the Ben & Jerry’s “What’s the doughboy afraid of?” campaign. In the early 1980s, Ben & Jerry’s was an upstart “premium” ice cream maker in Vermont struggling to get shelf space to compete against Pillsbury’s Haaagen-Daz brand.
    But Pillsbury, as do many food wholesalers, wasn’t keen on giving a competitor room to grow, so it pressured stores not to give Ben & Jerry’s shelf space.
    In response, Ben & Jerry’s hit on a protest theme: “What’s the doughboy afraid of?” The campaign took off, sprouting bumper stickers, t-shirts, and generally great publicity for Ben & Jerry’s. Pillsbury eventually gave in, and Ben & Jerry’s got its shelf space.
    The doughboy campaign holds several lessons for the Tea Party movement

    and he goes on from there.

  • Dan Collins picked up our Pirate Rescue Fallout
  • And RVFTLC liked the Right Wing Extremist graphic.
  • Jimmie at the Sundries Shack seems to have broken the Technorati code, with the best lefty blog pre-Tea roundup I’ve seen thus far. Great work, sir.
  • The Liberty Papers was among the first blogs to pick up the DHS-screw-you report. We keep this up, and civil servants may recall for whom they work.
  • Fisherville Mike has a marketing suggestion for the Hagerstown Suns:

    The Hagerstown Suns have hired the 16-year-old twins of blogger the Other McCain for the grounds crew. I wonder if they’ll have an Other McCain promo at the ballpark, where guys get in free for wearing a Speedo.

  • Common Sense Political Thought appreciated the Salvation Army as a right wing extremist organization link.
  • Fausta linked us on a beefcake post for the ladies in the crowd.
  • Flap’s blog now understands Krugman is part of the Journolist cabal.
  • Monkey Darts also picked up on the Troll Taxonomy post.
  • The excellently named Gold-Plated Witch on Wheels weighed in last Sunday on the lefty Democrisy.
  • Stephen Gordon liked RSM’s title for the video of him on Rachel Maddow’s show. Wow. What a tedious person is Rachel Maddow. We all owe Stephen a beverage for not doing something unspeakable.
  • The Hooded Utilitarian seemed to think there was tension between RSM and AoS regarding how much credit to give BHO over the pirate rescue.
  • Instaputz, “Systematically documenting the putziness of Glenn Reynolds, Pajamas Media, and various other Putzen,” gives RSM a thumbs up for anticipating the noble savage card getting played in defense of the Somali pirates. There is hope for this one.
  • The JABbering Stooge “A random schmuck mouthing off about the state of the world”, picks us up for the Shorter Entire Wingnutosphere. I stand by my efforts in this regard with pride, you weenie.
  • Whereas the Right, Wing Nut “A cry of common sense in New Jersey’s liberal madhouse!” noted our continuous updates on the pirate rescue. Google Reader über-goober!
  • John in Carolina offers a left-handed compliment to Susan Roesgen

    Some bloggers are saying today Roesgen is America’s “worst reporter.” I think she’s better described as typical of most MSM reporters in terms of her political bent and not as good at most of her peers at holding her temper.

    If that piece of work is ‘typical’, then we must truly thank St. Gore for the webbytubes, that have brought salvation from crap.

  • The KURU Lounge on the DHS-screw-you report:

    The Other McCain – More on Right Wing Terrorism and the Department of Homeland Security – It gives the impression, undeserved or not, that the Obama administration is becoming a left-wing incarnation of the Richard Nixon administration, with lists of political enemies and wiretaps at the headquarters of their opponents

    Lose the kid gloves already: the DHS deserves copious floggings about the head and shoulders with a rubber chicken.

  • Larry disclaims all interest in Rule 2, and asserts merely to enjoy the writing.
  • The Michican Blogger gave a shout as a part of the Tea Party roundup.
  • Nicedeb linked the Jane Hamsher Epic Fail clip from here.
  • The PA Pundits brought in the Bama Tea: How Big Is Huge? post.
  • The Rhetorican enjoyed the Governor Perry link.
  • Rhymes with Clown has a good laugh at Ygelsias.
  • Western experience picks up on the phrase “Trust me, there will be more shoes dropping over the next few days, as we learn who was behind the DHS smear“, amidst a thorough roundup.It’s really like the General Betray-us smear, only, this time it’s our own government, not an arguably tasteless 1st Amendment usage.
  • Whatever is Right refers to the Rick Moran post in a jolly rant about the Tea Parties.
  • Capital Research found amusement in the Jane Hamsher whining, citing the blog.
  • News-In picked up the Troll Taxonomy.
  • Oliver Willis takes notice of the attention paid him by this blog.

    Blast it, my effort to silence the right wing has been uncovered by a writer for the… American Spectator. They were alerted by commandant Benen’s missive about their fakeroots protests, scheduled for tax day (More from Benen here, where he tries to fool the right into thinking we didn’t write our posts on George Soros’ say-so). No doubt, they are certain that writing about this made-up protest by Fox News & co. was a coordinated activity? Why? Well, that’s how they do things and they’re projecting as usual.
    Furthermore, they’ve convinced themselves that we’re afraid of this now, like we’re supposedly afraid of every craptacular thing they do when in fact… we’re laughing at you.

    Dude, it has nothing to do with striking fear, and everything to do with generating independent thought.

  • The “Atheist Bikini” seems to have PoliGazette rather intrigued.
  • The Skepticrats weigh in with Rule 5 outrage about two overlooked Fox correspondents. Gallant.
  • Stop the ACLU rained on the progressive parade concerning the pirate rescue.
  • Outside of Technorati, we’ve captured a few random links:

  • Rick Moran had a muddling response to the feedback offered him:

    This is a point made by Stacey McCain, Jim Treacher, and others – that I am consciously (or subconsciously) accepting the narrative offered by the left on people like Beck, Limbaugh, Coulter, Hannity, and other conservatives; that we should ignore the exaggerations, the false contextualization of remarks, the cherry-picked quotes, that the left routinely uses to demonize them, and through them the entire right.

  • Philip over at Who-Whom chracterized the Troll Taxonomy post as “Dumb”. Thanks for noticing, boss. He also picked up the rant against public schools:

    Now, McCain is a sharp guy. Which is why it’s so hard to understand where this deranged knuckleheadedness is coming from. It’s equal parts ignorant, naïve, paranoid, and delusional.
    What is it about public schools that sends otherwise rational people over the edge? These are, remember, the institutions responsible for producing one of the most thoroughly educated populations in history. The institutions that freed book learning from the clutches of the wealthy, making the 3 R’s available to all citizens. Are they perfect? Hell no. There’s work to be done, starting with breaking the teachers’ unions, but to call them “Moloch” (as does some crazy in the featured YouTube) is asinine. And assclownish.
    Could it be . . . memories of wedgies and swirlies and unrequited schoolboy crushes, maybe? Not the leonine RSM!

  • Thanks to Pat in Shreveport for sending the links straight away. She offered fine thoughts in response to the Troll Taxonomy. She critiqued Ross Douthat’s Tea Party review, and also transcribed a portion of RSM’s speech in Alabama, concluding

    The only way the speech could have been better would have been if he’d been wearing his speedo.

The following blogs have linked us, and, for whatever reason (flaw in my Python script?) are not getting through Technorati. Please e-mail me directly when you link us, and include “Rule 2” in the Subject, for easy correction of the tragic oversight. We do love and appreciate you.


  • This roundup was compiled by Frequent Commenter Smitty using his army of high-tech clone robots. If you’ve linked us in the past week and are not linked back here, all complaints/requests/death threats should be e-mailed to Smitty, who will either (a) update this post to include you, (b) make sure to give you extra linkage in next week’s FMJ Saturday roundup, or (c) hunt you down and beat you into a coma.
  • To be linked in Rule 5 Sunday, please follow the Official Guidelines, post your cheesecake/beefcake before 9 p.m. Saturday, and e-mail the URL to Smitty.
  • The Other McCain is not responsible for items lost or stolen while reading this blog, and disclaims responsibility for computer damage caused by spontaneous coffee spew.
April 11, 2009

Frankly Magesterial Juxtapositions Requiring Answers

By Smitty
Yet another Rule 2, Full Metal Jacket Reach Around Saturday. And the links just keep on comin’:

  • Donald Douglas is a powerhouse. His blog fu is prolific, timely, potent, and most of all, links this blog in a classically liberal fashion.
    He had us smiling on:
  • Protein Wisdom continues as another big supporter.
  • The Troglopundit…(sigh)
    • He reveals he wants to be RSM when he grows up. Some think Stacy inspires strange loyalty because he has false teeth…with braces on them. I think it’s because he has sideburns…behind his ears*.
    • He comes down rather heavily on Donald Douglas of American Power Blog, then assumes it’s a Rule 4 play. I’m voting ‘present’ on this one.
    • He scores some pleasant Rule 5 on Yuri Fujikawa. Domo arigantoni to you, boss.
    • He is thankful for the Passive Pity-Lanche, as well.

      This post includes a reference to me (with a link) that is at least twice as complimentary as the very last thing a former girlfriend once said to me.

      Lance: your assignment is to digest this page of Lombardi quotes. I don’t know what else I can do for you over HTTP.

    • *Paraphrase of a Steven Wright joke.

  • Paco Enterprises continues its staunch support of this blog.
    • Paco expresses some concern over the Paul Ryan profile. We need to get Paco to CPAC. I think this would remove the Ryan doubt, should the man deliver another speech as great as his last.
    • He also enjoyed the ‘second-hand expertise’ riff in the last Brooks fisking.
    • Finally, Paco linked this blog en route to piling on the vile Kos remarks about the latest mass murder tragedy.
  • There isn’t a blogger we like more at ToM than Monique Stewart.
    • She starts off with noting Notre Dame won’t hear a note from the TVM dames.

      Notre Dame has finally shut this production down, whether it was by the administration realizing they are a private Catholic institution and putting the smack down, or the students realizing this play is absurd and no one is interested in it, anymore. The shock has worn off.

      She sheaths the suggestion that they await a monologue Perhaps Only The Ultimate Satsifier (POTUS) can bring.

    • She also quoted the homeschooling post at length, not understading the left’s commitment to recreational guilt.
    • Don’t know who told her I’m a CZJ fan, but she came through in Rule 5 fasion. And she followed up her penchant for glamor with some Katy Perry today.
  • Northern Virginia’s own Pundit and Pundette linked a couple of posts.
  • William Teach at The Pirates Cove picked us up twice.
  • The Blog Prof tapped us twice.
    • First, he added one to the new P.U.M.A.With a name like P.U.M.A., they’d better get the Cougar Den to advertise it (not quite SFW):
    • He also linked the POTUS Maximus cold open, without any further comment
  • Here’s a new one on the radar: NOLI INSIPIENTIVM INVRIAS PATI (“Don’t let the turkeys get you down”). I think the author is a she, and she she takes issue with Stacy on the education post:

    I disagree with RSMcCain that liberals are typically hypocrites. They don’t harbor any cognitive dissonance if they don’t practice what they preach. They feel that they are entitled to preach & it’s the proletariat’s job to do what they’re told for the good of the commune, or be sent to re-education camps.

    My only response is an old Slashdot sig: VIRINE NON SVMVS DEVO SVMVS (“Are we no men? We are Devo”). Aside: LMAO

  • Ed Driscoll liked Stacy’s blogging point of the other day, and includes a link to some mysterious “binky” who’s far madder than I.
  • The Rhetorican is a neophyte in these parts, but welcome. There was a nod on the bipartisanship post, as well a healthy exchange on the Sub-Carter business. How weird to be in the position of defending that brace of knaves
  • KURU lounge has revived the link dump format. I subscribed in my Google Reader, based upon the strength of their review box. Going through, I noted that a poster named Chad there had a Slashdot link. On occasional Tuesdays there, I drop a Burma Shave troll.
  • Moe accuses Stacy of modesty. He keeps using that word. I do not think it means what he thinks that it means in Stacy’s context.
  • Mark J. Goluskin over on the left coast understands unworkable ideas when he sees them. I miss the left coast. 😦
  • Fishersville Mike, slightly geographically to my left, braved fashion doom on this very blog.
  • Over on The Purple Center, we made a link roundup.
  • The Track-a-‘Crat also admires alliteration (and assuming assonance).
  • Stephen Gordon expanded on the David Weigel story about gun nuts. Not sure what’s nutty about my admiration of the M1911, but, if you say so…
  • Eric Florack wonders aloud, Charles Johnson: Kool-Air Sampler? and quotes at length from the GOP extremeists post. As the Ancient Commenter observed, And let us consider one another to provoke unto love and to good works–Hebr 10:24
  • We got a Rule 5 nod over at the Craig’s Fencing Blog. Nice prise de fair, boss.
  • Great line from thePolitical Castaway on the topic of the North Korea response:

    The time has come for my teleprompter to put my foot down. And that foot is me.

    To which I’d add: “After they surgically remove it from my mouth.”

  • A lady in Baltimore who’s known as “Toaster Lover” (NTTAWWT) comes some agreement on a post concerning John Batchelor:

    the real problem with the GOP is that it never had to form a defining domestic policy.

    I’ll opine that among the dangers of political parties is the demolition of Federalism. Sure, the GOP should have domestic policy suggestions, but differentiate between state and national, please. Otherwise, we become The United State, Quod Barack Demonstrat

  • You know you’ve arrived when Crooks and Liars notices you. At least they may have noticed. The story concerned gun control. I’m not sure this is about the same guy with whom I was at the karaoke bar the other night:

    Now, the dog-pee angle is in fact handy for one thing: It lets neo-Confederates like Robert Stacy McCain simply sneer at reportage pointing out the white-supremacy aspect of the story, in a futile effort to kick some sand to cover the scent.

    One falls short of speculation concerning what they’ve been drinking over there.

  • Larwyn included us on the Link Kersplosion. Thanks.
  • Grandpa John appreciated ‘BTW, does this tinfoil hat make my butt look big?’ at length.
  • Hayek Center takes RSM’s take on “public intellectual” seriously.
  • Proof Positive liked the P.U.M.A. link. Nice logo. Aside: been there.
  • Rumblepak has a fine rant on Kos in the Rule 2 tradition. And we must boost the gain.
  • The Classic Liberal has begun a Moderate History of the GOP, and wonders if he, too has got a big bottom.
  • One Fine Jay picked up the post on internecine conflict
  • The Ordinary Gentlemen placed this blog alongside Red State for some left handed complementing:

    I can only hope that the conservative movement stays the course, and continues to run this thing into the ground. Total self-destruction is necessary for it to be replaced by any viable, honorable, or intellectual conservatism. Besides that, if I want a really good laugh from time to time, I can just visit a movement conservative blog or two. Nothing like some crazy to brighten your day. Now, if only they weren’t quite so predictable…

    Let’s flog their ‘about’ page just a bit:

    The League of Ordinary Gentlemen is a group blog
    [Bunch of Guys Sitting Around Talking, ‘BOGSAT’.]
    that hopes to bring a new style and sensibility to blogging.
    [So lost in nuance that they voted for Barack, one wonders.]
    The contributing writers hail from various points along the political spectrum,
    [Bunch of lefty infiltrators posing as ‘moderates’ to distract.]
    but all hold a deep and abiding commitment to the exploration of ideas outside the foray of rhetorical and ideological cul de sacs.
    [The foundational principles of conservativism are unshiny. Can’t we have freedom on the cheap?]
    The entries are less posts than they are dialogues
    [To make our waffling drivel seem fresh and new, you know.]
    with an aim towards sustained discussion on topics and issues that lay at the foundations of our lives.
    [How can we sell watered-down Socialism?]
    This approach, we hope, will provide readers
    [Snotty rich kids from the Northeast.]
    with a thoughtful and searching alternative analysis.
    Plus, we think the name is pretty cool… and bowler hats never go out of style.
    [My bow tie collection can beat up your bowlers.]

    The big doughnut you get when you search for “Tea Party” on this blog tells the tale.

  • The Poligazette led off a linkmess with this blog. Great place to start.
  • Political Byline enjoyed the Stacy/Jimmy word trade on the tinfoil hats, without getting too cheeky about it.
  • Red State is worried about infiltrators next Wednesday. Me, not so much. A healthy turnout next Wednesday, an order of magnitude more on 04July… Contradictory to the Def Leppard Doctrine, it is not ‘better to burn out than fade away’. The oppostion is going to pooh-pooh the Tax Day Tea Party as an idea that tried hard and lost part of itself in an accident. Patience.
  • Riehl World view gives a thumbs up on content, thumbs down on length. Troglopundit liked it. I’ll confess to skimming.
  • Seymour Nuts responded to the American Spectator blog post with a mixed review. Gentlemen: ‘Republican’ is a term as monolithic as ‘Christianity’ (or ‘Judaism’ or ‘Islam’ or ‘Buddhism, for that matter). You have to address a spectrum, or you will continue to have these yes-but-no exchanges.

Here endeth the browserbuster lesson. And remember the tip jar, or I won’t get any leftover pizza. 😦

April 4, 2009

Feeling Most Jacobite Right About Now

By Smitty
Note that the post title refers to Jacobitism in the loosest of ways, and is not to be mistaken as a reference to the Jacobin Club at all. The Full Metal Jacket Reach Around, brought to you as a public nuisanceservice in support of Rule 2, is now in session.

  • In offering a roundup of the Supreme Court of Iowa, APB noted RSM’s deconstruction of Andrew Sullivan’s notions. A thrashing of Steve Benen earned a link to the Andrew Breitbart post as a note on astroturfing. There was also a Rule 5 mention on an Angie Harmon post. We may need to have the rules committee address the issue of shameless Rule 5 embedding as a means of jacking up the scores. This is serious business. American Power offered an excellent Frum-drubbing, and refrenced this blog’s analysis of along the way. The review of Andrew Breitbart on the Left’s Internet Hooligans was updated to note this blog’s Breitbart admiration.
  • Paco the Enterprising One offered a medium-flame rant on the POTUS, and managed to mention another blog perpetratedvaguely connected to RSM with an ‘indelicate’ title. Sarah the Mail Order Gag Gift earned a hat tip. Again the astroturfing linkage. But what if this post is the Great Wall of Astroturf? The Waldorf Astroturfia? The World’s Biggest Jackastroturfing? Does this make it OK? Paco noted how the POTUS is acting as the nation’s CEO, and linked the Tea Party post. It’s just short of a civic duty to plan to attend one. A Brooks pummeling was linked amidst a post concerning that ‘scrofulous’ crapweasel Harry Reid. Also deemed linkworthy was a pointer to silver spoon snobs
  • Obi’s Sister wants to know if there is a lemon law covering the POTUS. Grits links this blog’s pointer over to Protein Wisdom and a woman who nearly had a When Harry Met Sally moment when meeting said POTUS. In ‘A Dip That Doesn’t Drip‘, Obi liked the Penn Gillet quote about the Community Organizer in Chief. In picking up the Useful Idiot Day tradition, Obi found last Tuesday’s faint praise of Brooks halfhearted. The Breitbart post got more in apposition to Stuff that Makes Pelosi Worry. She expressed mild shock at the inclusion in this humble blog. I gave away some secrets, for those interested.
  • Gahrie (do you pronounce that like ‘Fahv-ruh’ at the end of There’s Something About Mary?) wonders if Paul Krugman has studied David Brooks. Great video at the link. Props to The Rock Cookie Bottom.
  • Lead and Gold noted the Team Spirit post. They also figure RSM has a little Jimi up his sleeve. I can personally attest to his Mack the Knife, even if I sucked trying to film it. They also reviewed the last one of these and offer:

    More fun than reading footnotes and less dangerous than smoking in bed.

  • Monique rogered up for the Tea Party. Hope to see you there! She also demonstrated contrarian flair, finding an allusion to this post in the whole affair. Lastly, she approved of the ransom note method, at least the post on the topic.
  • Dad29 offers up a “good stuff” for the post on the Obama troll army. He joins the chorus of those denouncing the crapweasel takeover attempt of the Tea Party movement, going so far as to link RSM’s Spectator work. As should we all. He refers to the ransom note method in a thrashing of the Greater Wisconsin Committee.
  • No Sheeples Here, besides a very thuggable graphic, mentioned The Telegraph’s long list of societal accomplishments before the one hour dark age last week. They also honored the ransom note post, replete with cool graphic, and a post I did on classical liberal values, springing from the last of these itty-bitty roundups.
  • Cynthia Yockey proposes that RSM be given something like a grant by the conservative poo-bahs, to further enhance his blogging fu. I can’t see why she would consider this suggestion ‘vindictive’ (hilarious Stark Trek still at the link).
    She picked up a site of the day award from Conservative Grapevine (kudos)! Her ear boxing of Faux conservative/twerp vérité Ross Douthat was very nicely done, and she hat-tipped RSM’s Lenten vow. I too caught heat, on Wednesday, for failure to link Obama confesses to treason…, opting instead to link something hinting about a Very Special Relationship between BHO and Gordon Brown. While neither Jewish nor Roman Catholic, I will temporarily suspend my say-no-to-guilt principle and point you to this link. In my defense, I did land the first comment. Sorry, Cynthia!
  • Kathy Shaidle linked the ransom note method. In response to (I think) the shaky status of the Tampa Tea Party protest, she linked the Speedo post. The blog troll army drew notice, as well as the diamond pattern bit. What is it about diamonds?
  • Leading off with some Ann Margaret video, Pundit and Pundette followed by noting the Tea Party protest post. They finish off with a quote from RSM’s Breitbart review.
  • Seymour Nuts may make some time for a Tea Party. Had some fun with his trackback: see update VI. Hopefully he can make an event, as is schedule sounds loaded
  • The Criminally Under-rated Post of the Week award goes to Political Castaway, for having Wen Jiabao call for BHO’s ouster. Brilliant! Combing these links is a lot of fun, but you really turn it up to 11.
  • Ennui Pundit goes for the vanity play:

    Stacy McCain is fond of noting that many movement conservatives neither understand the nature of the battle nor possess the requisite skill to fight the battle.

  • Ed Driscoll asks: What, and give up the ransom note method of selective misquotation?
  • “In this time of darkness, Stacy reminds us of the immortal words of Otter“, said Dan Collins in a great post on Designated Victim Groups. The Ransom Note post also showed up in a delightfully scathing roundup of Gordon Brown abuse.
  • S.Logan has been deemed a heathen. A glance at her blogroll, where she has The Daily Dish “above” (let us choose our words carefully) this blog is but one indication of a rather sorry state of affairs. She’s a trying-very-hard sort of heathen, though, affording this undemanding blog four URLs in the cleverly done Who’s Line… roundup.
  • Moe Lane picked up the laugh track on Harry Reid’s most recent buffoonery. This blog also scored a hat tip for the Breitbart lead.

  • …and then there were those who merely linked us once…

  • 36chambers (a street address?) linked to the now-mildly-famous ransom note post amidst an interesting link dump.
  • Below the Beltway celebrates its millionth visitor with a hat tip to RSM and some Charlize Theron Rule 5
  • Bob’s Bar and Grill has the eloquently titled drunk-blog post Blah Blah Blah. I don’t know. It made a good palate cleanser. I had to leave this blog promptly, due to PTSD brought on by that arm tattoo from last week. *shudder*

  • Conservative Infidel, apparently, added this blog to the roll. Thanks!
  • Fear and Loathing in Georgetown liked the ‘classical libertarian values’ post, and offered an interesting exposition of the points at hand. Those points were summarized nicely by Raphael.
    Returning to uncultured barbarian mode.
  • Gateway Pundit picked up some classic RSM from the Old Days (January) in a Breitbart roundup.
  • Fisherville Mike picks up on some ‘foreign’ RSM action that you may have missed. Thank you, sir.
  • Earned a “Quote of the Day” on The Everlasting Phelps for “Here’s a clue for the youngsters: If the New York Times ever offers to publish you, you’re doing something wrong.”
  • Politics and Critical Thinking (PACT) offers a Rule #2 lesson that stands as a fine example of the form. They even linked the Nude Eel post, which I thought a fine pun and oblique innuendo, but went over like BHO without a teleprompter. Responding to

    McCain’s co-writer, or lackey (We still haven’t figured it out yet.)

    my official title is “Porch Manqué” 😉

  • Daniel Larison calls RSM out regarding the a foreign policy point made in this post. We’ll have to let these fellas duke it out. I’m only here to catch javelins, not throw. Much.
  • Capital Research Center picked up the brief post on the GIVE Act.
  • Poligazette pooh-poohs the idea in the Breitbard post that there is any sort of organized anti-conservative effort “established and funded by the Obama administration’s political wing”. All I can tell you is that our favorite lefty commenter, Young 4 Eyes, laughed when I referred to him as our zampolit.
  • Riehl World View comes out stridently neutral on the conspiracy notion:

    Is there anyone out here worth a damn who hasn’t realized this has been going on? And I believe it’s impact is vastly over-rated by AB.

    +5 Insightful

  • Armed Liberal “thought Robert Stacy McCain’s reprise of Jeff Goldstein’s full-throated whine about how unfair liberals are was as lame as the original” in this post. AL concludes

    Someone needs to stand up for liberty, and do it in the context of real societies, not Heinlein’s loonies. It’d be nice to see conservatives take up that mantle.

    But will AL be at a Tea Party in a week and a half?

  • Jeff Barnard also offers some blowback on The Ransom Note Method.

    He had me nodding my head in agreement until he came out with, “…a prominent conservative fighter like Limbaugh or Ann Coulter.”
    Demagogues like Limbaugh and Coulter are not “conservatives”. Not unlike the one person McCain spends the bulk of that post demonizing, David Brooks, these media figures have no real ideology or agenda beyond their wallets.

    Hmmm. They’re certainly both capitalists, and given to saying/writing things to make a buck. I might not always appreciate their style, but I’m not sure what substantial argument exists showing either one has demagogic tendencies.


  • This roundup was compiled by Frequent Commenter Smitty using his army of high-tech clone robots. If you’ve linked us in the past week and are not linked back here, all complaints/requests/death threats should be e-mailed to Smitty, who will either (a) update this post to include you, (b) make sure to give you extra linkage in next week’s FMJ Saturday roundup, or (c) hunt you down and beat you into a coma.
  • To be linked in Rule 5 Sunday, please follow the Official Guidelines, post your cheesecake/beefcake before 9 p.m. Saturday, and e-mail the URL to Smitty.
  • The Other McCain is not responsible for items lost or stolen while reading this blog, and disclaims responsibility for computer damage caused by spontaneous coffee spew.
March 28, 2009

‘The Full Monty Joint Review’ Avalanche

By Smitty
The title may or may not be a jello-wrestling reference. Ambiguity, while death to computer code, flavors the humor nicely. Back on topic: Saturday’s Full Metal Jacket Reach Around extravaganza is here.

  • Owning lesser mortals in a truly biblical fashion is Donald Douglas at American Power Blog. He jumped right on the Frum love train. He deftly played the Rule 5 card with some Scarlett goodness. He proffered a thoughtful roundup on Culture 11. He quoted this blog at length while mourning the demise of the BHO honeymoon. Quoting this blog remains your chief source of exquisite, yet free, good blog karma. (Almost as good as linking Little Miss Attila.) Professor Douglas’s roundup of the Goldstein/Patterico dust-up made sense of something that wasn’t previously clear (to your writer). His Sullivan roundup recalled the National Greatness post. He went above and beyond the call of Rule 5 by inviting Code Pink onto his page. Tough as nails, that one. The real amazement, must be saved for his tracking down this Rule 5 video of Stacy doing some turntable work for Lady GaGa. McCain is more than just your average karaoke king.
  • Dan Collins of Protein Wisdom fame was our second most energetic linker this past week. He connected this blog’s notice of the lesbian thrashing of transgenders with that ABC bit about two gay men finding evidence in a bar that George W. Bush skipped out service with the Texas ANG or something Rather silly like that. His Director of Hillary: The Movie post cleverly used an unrelated Brooks fisking post to increase his Technorati link count. We admire those creatively pointing out the lack of rules around here. Dan gets the Greek mythology hat tip for the Icarus reference while noting the POTUS Poll Plunge Post amidst a lengthy Geithner roundup. Oh, yes, and the Patterico business. This seems blown over, thankfully. This fine post by Serr8d, a frequent commenter here, crept in for reasons that are obscure. Nice title, Serr8d, but remember this about liberals: an American anus admires assonance als alliteration.
  • Lance, our primitive troglodyte pundit, starts off with a proper homage to the Rules in his review of the AIG “Outta beer: outta here” letter. He ventures onto some thin ice here putting ToM’s name in the title (good) and then opining that he needs a new hobby (not so much). I hear that trogs regenerate. He does recover nicely with the Rule 5-age, revealing that Bruce Willis is violating the half-your-age-plus-seven rule (or does that only apply when you’re under 50?). He goes for Rule 3 on the Geithner WSJ editorial. Dude, at least throw in some YouTube-age, a’ight? ;). He did have a nice Rule 5 offering, so there is obviously hope.
  • Monique remains a source of excellent blogging. Hope her health improves. Especially in time for whenever the jello wrestling is set. She opted to allude to the teleprompter while reviewing the POTUS press conference. The Alabama condom post earned a lengthy, turgid remembrance.
  • Obi’s Sister is pleased that Tuesdays are Useful Idiot(s) Day. The helpful guide How to speak to an Obamanoid brought forth a fun little poll with ++ungood results, seen from the Administration perspective. The ACORN alumnus judicial nomination triggered a mention amidst the heroic dinner hold-down of the 60 Minutes interview. Also, looking forward to Easter in a roundup on phones.
  • Paco Enterprises enjoyed a fuzzy memory at the mention of the new Al Gore ‘Cli-fi’ opus. While enjoying a mild Barney Frank rant (who doesn’t?) he brought in the related How to Speak to an Obamanoid. Paco’s taste in Rule 5 work is impeccable. He offers a strangely linked hat tip. Possibly he meant this.
  • The Nutty One launched with the teleprompter, as did so many this week. Would that it could be merely funny. Led to the noted poll dip. Seymour’s FMJRA offering was a fine example of the genre. And the review of the Obamanoidspeak post “absolutely classic” is very warmly received.
  • The Griffon heaped a smallish helping of abuse on Rachel for moving to England. The Griffon merits an atta-boymythological-creature for his response to the tough love proffered by this blog. Those who can take it as well as dish it out are respected. May the fu belong to you!
  • Clever S.Logan wins an award for most updated post I’ve ever seen at 9 and counting. It’s almost as if she’s trying to cover up something. Could this post metastasize and form its own blog? Stay raptly attentive, but don’t be a stalker. She does everything but link The Georgia Satellites in this post. And, of course she offered a heap of sympathy for the Griffon, whom I was very nearly close to beginning to think about starting to feel bad about having abused. Thanks for getting me off that hook, Suzanna. Note the splitting of the affection between the Troglopundit and the Griffon. Both gracious and wise, this one. Careful, men!
  • Cynthia, the jello wrestling referee, put in a plea for decorum, for all the match scheduling isn’t complete yet. Even though she’s a newly minted conservative, she finds it hard to grasp how Senator Specter misses the point on secret ballots. Or, to judge by her title, she may understand why all too well.
  • The neighborly Pundit and Pundette note RSM’s reporting on David Horowitz. They briefly noted Specter’s sudden recollection of the letter ‘R’. They also had a linkfest, though they haven’t quite reached the “volume of fire has an accuracy all its own” approach of, for example, this blog.
  • Bob offers up some armed Rule 5, followed by some Rule NaN* arm. I may need a break after this. My mind is bleeding.
    *Not a Number, for the non-JavaScript geeks in the crowd.
  • Fear and Loathing debates the bond market in a reasonable way, with a jolly Strangelove reference. FLG follows up here.
  • Mike in Fisherville noted the McAuliffe post, as well as last week’s FMJRA post, which invites the question of how much circular reasoning it will take to cross the Groucho Marx horizon.
  • Craig at Pb’n’Au links to the Gonzo article at Taki. Maybe it’s just because I’m nearly punch drunk enough for 60 Minutes, but this is worth a few extra bytes on the post:

    The Other McCain has a post up that defends the execrable David Frum. Admittedly, he does so in the course of bashing David Brooks, but that is no excuse. That is the equivalent of praising gonorrhea while condemning syphilis.

    Well done, sir.

  • Moe notes the ACORN Judiciary post, as well as offering up the third part of the Andrew Breitbart bit at NetRightNation.
  • David Wiegel at WI derided the Obama at 50/50 post. Here he summarizes RSM’s Culture11 obituary:

    “If you want to create a brand of conservatism that doesn’t yet exist, you have to do more than write columns and movie reviews.” If you want to write columns and movie reviews, they have to be in the “liberals are awful and destroying freedom” mold.

    Whereas I would say “Liberals begin from a flawed existential model; bogosity ensues.”

  • Jason at Western Experience picked up the teleprompter post. He was also pleased to make last week’s Juggernaut roundup.. Aside: Jellytoast, we refuse to link you just because you linked Jason. Oh, wait…
  • The Pirate’s Cove (and we can’t have too much nautical nuance, mates) noted the teleprompter review. They also had some Rule 5-age. Send that in earlier to make the proper roundup!

  • And thus we reach the single digit locker

  • Somebody with the silly name ‘Instapundit’ linked the And the Bad News Is post. Terrible name for a blog. He’d better improve on that name if he ever wants to get any traffic. I’m just saying.
  • Steven Green, the Vodkapundit, linked the How to get a million hits… post, not knowing that Blogger was unappreciative of the higher-tech version, and we rolled it back. I will improve my fu. I’m good enough, smart…
  • If you missed Gahrie’s Nolan link last Rule 5 Sunday, we have you covered.
  • The Skepitcrats live up to the billing:

    Someone please track down Uncle Jimbo and the guy in the Blackfive video and slap them back to reality. They seem to think that the young Code Pinko’s Blackfive interviewed are “cute.” Let’s get this straight: for a conservative, there should be no such thing as a “Code Pink Cutie.”

    I’ll wait for RSM to pass the final judgment on this important controversy, but allow me to tilt the argument by reminding everyone that “who is pleased easily is pleased often”.

  • Below the Beltway debunks BHO’s 50-50 Zogby poll thoroughly.
  • The Political Castaway is dubious about Senator Specter’s lack of enthusiasm for Card Check.
  • “Gag me with a teleprompter”, says Colorado Right, of the Ann Compton kneepad story. Say hello to the Vodka Pundit for us.
  • Comments from Left Field also debunks the Zogby poll, giving RSM the first link. We covet such left-handed complements.
  • Cyber Economics approved of the way RSM “cuts through all the polite and euphemistic terms and tells it like it is” on the US spawns record number of bastards post.
  • Dad29 picked up the Baghdad Bob coverage. Must have been the in-depth, hard hitting research. One wonders how applicable to the POTUS are these words written for Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf by Jean-Pierre McGarrigle:

    In an age of spin, al-Sahaf offers feeling and authenticity. His message is consistent — unshakeable, in fact, no matter the evidence — but he commands daily attention by his on-the-spot, invective-rich variations on the theme. His lunatic counterfactual art is more appealing than the banal awfulness of the Reliable Sources. He is a Method actor in a production that will close in a couple of days. He stands superior to truth.

    Surely this blog should enshrine such an excellent review

  • Minimal Coverage notes the smirk on Stacy’s face over the epic jello wrestling match, but goes the extra mile and offers a (possibly sacrilegious for Catholics) variation on the Beatles’ Lady Madonna, the first verse of which we’ll drop as a tease:

    Lady Godiva, clothing at your feet
    I’ll be at the tea party we should meet
    Protesting money our Congress has spent
    They’ve all forgotten who they represent

  • Environmental Republican noted the “Death of Newspapers” story in a Sixth Anniversary posting.
  • The Gay Conservative was equally appalled by the David F. Hamilton appointment.
  • Instaputz thought RSM was being ironic when he wrote this post. I don’t know why the famous speedo picture was captioned “Fap fap fap” here, and I will protect my ignorance with vigor.
  • Kirbside goes for Rule 1 with gusto. We like and appreciate.
  • The Mean ol’ Meany picked up on the economic advice in And the bad news is…
  • The heat generated by the debate with the Liberal Values blog, which was triggered by last week’s ‘opting for worse’ rider, continues to be measurable by well-calibrated lab equipment. The response doesn’t seem to apprehend the difference perceived on the right between a RINO and a CPAC attendee. A more full response is owed, but there are just a few links left to go here at the Full Monty.
  • Maggie has a great ACORN post pointing back to MSNBC suckage.
  • Michelle Malkin, that giantess among bloggers, linked the ACORN court post with a cool graphic.
  • The local NOVA Townhall blog refers to Obamanoids as ‘brownshirts’. One hopes things fall short of what that implies.
  • Cuffy at Perfunctions serves up some Ominous photoshoppage related to The World’s Most Famous Teleprompter.
  • The Nashville Post picked up RSM’s foray into Netiquette Law on the Godwin post.
  • Right View From the Left Coast notes the Brooks beatings, but wonders: Where is the Frum bat?
  • Sense of Events took a more mellow stance on the Dan Rather Award
  • Serr8d got linked above in the Protein Wisdom section, but we’ll spot a twofer, because you can’t over-link the good stuff. Though we try.
  • Sharp Right Turn joined in the condomnation of the switch to Chinese ‘French Houses’. Next link: this jape is shredded.
  • Steve Skojec quoted the bad news post at length in this response. Steve, we like your ideas.
  • The Classical Liberal also got on the quote wagon, referencing the Meghan McCain reportage from the old days.
  • The Moderate Voice liked ‘The guy is becoming a punchline.’
  • The Side Track quoted the Washington Independent quoting RSM on Zogby. ST observse

    if the media stopped talking about Zogby polls as if they meant something, maybe Zogby would be inclined to improve their polling methods and produce a poll that actually does mean something?

    Sure, but then people would have to do research and think about what to write, or something stupid like that.

  • Wizbang has some good introductory financial background on a post that links the bond market going wobbly post.
  • Bizzy Blog hat tipped the ACORN judge nomination.
  • Cathouse Chat (now there’s a great name for a blog) liked the Obamabots post.
  • Dustbury weighs in on the Full Monty Question with a nuanced take and yet another ancient link.
  • Five Feet of Fury forgets us not.
  • MacTelepromptlet, concludes Jules Crittenden, keying off the Richard III allusion in the teleprompter post.
  • NewsTechZilla noted the ‘newspapers are dying’ post.
  • Riehl World View noted the ‘bad news is’ post in a roundup of feedback for the politically depressed.
  • Over at Stop the ACLU there was some pile-on about the teleprompter. It’s hard to imagine four years of laughing at a teleprompter. It has the feel of those “Magruber” bits on SNL.
  • Stephen over at the Liberty Papers has another review of the jello wrestling question, and ends off with some libertarian Rule 5 linkage.
  • The Political Cesspool noted the Nigerian cab driver who loves Rush Limbaugh, proving the value of the back catalogue.

This post has been brought to you by a firm commitment to:

This post culled from Technorati links. If you’ve been overlooked, request a shout so we can add to this glorious outing.

Update:Jimmie has brought forward the problem that Technorati can be hit or miss. He offers righteous link-fu on conservative bloggers and Paris Hilton. This was all I could find for a quick check (he said, admitting he’d neglected to subscribe). Best wishes, Jimmie. Let’s see if we can come up with a work around for the reach around.

March 22, 2009

How to Get a Million Hits: Menu-ized

1. Shameless Blogwhoring
2. The Full Metal Jacket Reach-Around
3. Memeorandum
4. Make Some Enemies
5. Christina Hendricks
Updates & Addendum
(Originally published 2/15/08; this menu-ized version created by Frequent Commenter Smitty.)

Having promised an appropriate celebration of passing the 1-million-visitors Site Meter threshold Friday (Feb. 13, 2008), I will do so by sharing the secret of my success. It’s the Underpants Gnome Theory of Blogging:

  • Phase 1: Get a Blogspot account.
  • Phase 2: ?
  • Phase 3: One million visitors!

Obviously, the key here is Phase 2, which has been exceptionally disorganized. Some guys work smart. Some guys work hard. Some guys are just incredibly lucky.

The perceptive blog consumer will notice that posts here don’t have all those little thingies (Digg, etc.) the way some other blogs do. This is not because I disdain such methods of traffic enhancement, but because I’m such a primitive Unfrozen Caveman Blogger I can’t figure that stuff out. It’s the same reason I’m still on a Blogspot platform, rather than switching to a custom-designed WordPress format. Blogspot is so simple that even I can figure it out, and if they’d just offer a few more templates — hey, guys, how about a template with variable-width sidebars on both sides? — I might be able to fake that custom-designed elegance, too. I understand basic HTML, but Javascript no can do, and I’m too cheap to shell out the bucks for geek services.

Lacking advanced, sophisticated technological gee-whizzery, I have been forced to employ astonishingly crude Web 0.1 methods of traffic-enhancement, namely:

  • Write stuff people might want to read; and
  • Compulsively e-mail my posts to bloggers who might possibly consider linking me.

Astonishingly crude, but also surprisingly effective. And so we come to Rule 1, the Prime Directive so to speak:

I’m amazed that Instapundit, Michelle Malkin, Ace of Spades and the Hot Air crew haven’t declared a fatwa against me for the way I relentlessly fill their inboxes with blogwhoring e-mails like Arnold Horshack trying to get Mr. Kotter’s attention: “Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!”

However, the smart newcomer to the ‘sphere doesn’t just suck up to big-traffic bloggers who can throw him major traffic (although he does that with a single-minded fanaticism), he also sucks up sideways and downward, to bloggers who might not be able to throw 10,000 hits a day, but who are nonetheless valued contributors to the blogging community.

Little Miss Attila is my favorite example of the “valued contributors” category. Her best recent month was 24K visits in October, but she’s been around the ‘sphere a long time, is much beloved, and it is bad kharma not to link her. Every so often, while on the hunt for good stuff to blog about, I’ll go over to LMA, find something good she’s blogging about and link it. Why? Because, among various non-kharmic reasons, she has done the same for me, which brings me to Rule 2:

Maybe you’re not a fan of Stanley Kubrick’s Full Metal Jacket, and I’m not saying you should be. But the psychotic drill sergeant gives a notorious rant in which he colorfully expresses an important life principle: When someone does you a favor, find an opportunity to return the kindness.

Reciprocal linkage is the essential lubricant that makes the blogosphere purr with contentment. If somebody’s throwing you traffic, you should either (a) give them a link-back update, or at a minimum (b) keep them in mind for future linkage. Because you don’t want to end up on the wrong end of a kharmic unbalance in the ‘sphere, where you’re always taking and never giving.

Every beginning blogger confronts the Zero Hour. You’ve been blogging steadily for a week or two, sending around e-mails, trackbacking where you can, trying to develop some kind of regular traffic. And then, late one night, you think you might have finally composed your first Instalanche-worthy post and you e-mail it to Glenn Reynolds. You go to bed like a 7-year-old kid on Christmas Eve, then wake up at 4 a.m. and check your Site Meter to discover that your latest hourly traffic is . . . ZERO.

At which point, you want to swallow a handful of sedatives, wash it down with a quart of bleach, slit your wrists and stick your head in the oven. You are a complete and utter failure.

I’ve never forgotten the Zero Hour, and if I’ve become slightly less conscientious about reciprocal linkage since then, God forgive me, but I do try. In the midst of a traffic upswing, not all linkage is noticeable on Site Meter, so I check Technorati, which shows linkage regardless of traffic level. And thank you Dad29, thank you Joe Kristan, thank you, Andrea Shea King, thank you Jimmie Bise, thank you William Teach. Damn my lazy thoughtlessness, but please don’t doubt my gratitude.

Now that we’ve scratched the surface of technique, let’s address the tricky little subject of content with Rule 3:

Did somebody say “lazy thoughtlessness”? The easiest place to find blog fodder is Memeorandum, which has an algorithmic formula that automatically updates to tell you what the hot topics are in the ‘sphere.

I especially like their “Featured Posts,” sort of a random grab-bag of stuff that will occasionally feature some lefty shooting off his mouth in pure idiotic moonbat mode. Grab that sucker by the neck and give him the Mother Of All Fiskings, with enough vitriolic ad hominem to make sure he never forgets it. Because buddy, the lefties will turn right around and do it to you if you ever rate “Featured Post” status, and there’s nothing like a vicious flame war to earn your spurs in the ‘sphere. Which brings me to Rule 4:

We’ll have none of your “bipartian civility” around here, you sissy weaklings. This here is the Intertoobs, and we’re As Nasty As We Wanna Be. The fact that The Moderate Voice has turned into a reliable vessel for DNC talking points should tell you all you need to know about the fate of bipartisanship in the blogosphere.

At the same time, however, don’t confuse cyber-venom with real-world hate. Maybe Ace of Spades really would like to go upside Andrew Sullivan’s head with a baseball bat, I don’t know. But at some point you understand it’s just blogging about politics, and you start wondering if maybe it shares a certain spectator-friendly quality with pro wrestling. For all we know, Ace is spending weekends at Sully’s beach shack in Provincetown. (Next on Blogging Heads TV: Can “Bears” and Ewoks Be “Just Friends”?)

Some readers might remember when I first kicked Conor Friedersdorf in the knee for “insufficient cynicism.” Conor is, in real life, a nice guy. But he’s also (a) young, and (b) as earnest as John Boy Walton. So I got into a habit, when he was at Culture11, of kicking him in the knee with some regularity. It’s the Fraternity Initiation Principle: Pledges must be abused by their elders, and learn to be properly respectful, or else one day the ambitious little monsters will strangle us in our sleep. (Cf., my suggestion that George Freaking Will should be air-dropped on Jalalabad from a C-130.)

A couple days ago, hunting around for a reason to link my friend Russ Smith’s SpliceToday, I happened upon a column by Russ’s young minion, Andrew Sargus Klein, offering a particularly insipid argument for federal arts funding. Now, having been born and raised a Democrat, and arguably having never outgrown my obnoxious youthful arrogance, I can actually relate to Klein’s insipid argument. Stupid is as stupid does, and when I was 25, I might well have written something equally stupid. But the boy will never outgrow his stupidity unless he gets whomped on the head some.

Easy as it would have been to ignore Klein, I hit upon the delightfully fun idea of laying into him in Arkansas knife-fight mode: If you’re going to cut a man, eviscerate him. So I quickly composed a hyperbolic ad hominem rant, with the thoughtfully civil title, “Andrew Sargus Klein is an arrogant elitist douchebag.” I forward-dated the post for Friday morning, and sent Russ an e-mail to the effect of, “Hey, hope you don’t mind me abusing your office help a little bit. Nothing like a flame-war to build traffic. Don’t let on to Klein that I’m just funnin’ around with him.”

I’d hoped to bait Klein himself into a response. However, before that could happen — as if intent on illustrating how to make a fool out of yourself by taking this stuff too seriously — one of Klein’s friends offered up a comment:

Andrew Klein may be arrogant and elitist but he could craft logical arguments around your bumbling hypocrisy all day and night.

Of course I never bother “craft[ing] logical arguments,” sweetheart. It’s a freaking blog. If you want logic, subscribe to a magazine or buy a book. Pardon my double-entendre, Lola Wakefield, but people come here for the cheesecake. Logical arguments are a dime a dozen on the Internet, but sexy hotness . . . well, that reminds me of Rule 5:

Or Anne Hathaway or Natalie Portman or Sarah Palin bikini pics. Rule 5 actually combines four separate principles of blogospheric success:

  • A. Everybody loves a pretty girl — It’s not just guys who enjoy staring at pictures of hotties. If you’ve ever picked up Cosmo or Glamour, you realize that chicks enjoy looking at pretty girls, too. (NTTAWWT.) Maybe it’s the vicious catty she-thinks-she’s-all-that factor, or the schadenfreude of watching a human trainwreck like Britney Spears, but no one can argue that celebrity babes generate traffic. Over at Conservative Grapevine, the most popular links are always the bikini pictures. And try as I might to make “logical arguments” for tax cuts, wouldn’t you rather watch Michelle Lee Muccio make those arguments?
  • B. Mind the MEGO factor — All politics all the time gets boring after a while. Observant readers will notice that the headlines at Hot Air often feature silly celebrity tabloid stuff and News Of The Weird. Even a stone political junkie cannot subsist on a 24/7 diet of politics. The occasional joke, the occasional hot babe, the occasional joke about a hot babe — it’s a safety valve to make sure we don’t become humorless right-wing clones of those Democratic Underground moonbats.
  • C. Sex sells — Back when I was blogging to promote Donkey Cons (BUY TWO!), I accidentally discovered something via SiteMeter: Because the subtitle of the book is “Sex, Crime, and Corruption in the Democratic Party,” we were getting traffic from people Googling “donkey+sex.” You’d be surprised at the keyword combinations that bring traffic to a political blogger who understands this. Human nature being what it is, the lowest common denominator is always there, even if it’s sublimated or reverse-projected as puritanical indignation, which brings us to . . .
  • D. Feminism sucks — You can never go wrong in the blogosphere by having a laugh at the expense of feminists. All sane people hate feminism, and no one hates feminism more than smart, successful, independent women who’ve made it on their own without all that idiotic “Sisterhood Is Powerful” groupthink crap. And if you are one of those fanatical weirdos who takes that Women’s Studies stuff so seriously that you’re offended by Stephen Green’s sexist objectification of Christina Hendricks and her mighty bosom — well, sweetheart, to paraphrase Rhett Butler: “You should be offended, and often, and by someone who knows how.”

So, there you have it: Five Rules For Getting a Million Hits On Your Blog. There are probably another two dozen rules, but I’m too lazy to think of what they are right now. And to be honest, if it weren’t for that old picture of me in a Speedo, I’d probably still be 20,000 hits shy of the million mark. Some of us are just . . . blessed with exceptional modesty. And some guys get the steak knives.

Probably special mention should be made of Kathy “Five Feet of Fury” Shaidle, who never heard of a fair fight. She’s one of those people you don’t want angry at you. A ninja blackbelt in Rule 4, when she goes at an antagonist, it’s a knee in your groin and an elbow in your eye. However, she also keeps the customers satisfied with some naughty pinup hotness. (Rule 5!) That rare creature: A Canadian we like.

UPDATE II: Linked at Conservative Grapevine.

ADDENDUM 3/22: Maybe Rule 6 should be: “Get a cool co-blogger like Frequent Commenter Smitty,” who created this menu-ized version of the The Rules (originally published 2/15/09).

I would also advise newbies to contemplate “The Parable of the Doubting Padwan of Fu.” This is a reference to blog-fu, a term I first saw employed by Moe Lane to describe superior blogging ability. If you are someone who is new to the blogosphere, it is important to strive to emulate the acknowledged masters of blog-fu, people who started blogging waaaaay back when.

UPDATE 3/23: Linked by VodkaPundit, acknowledged master of drunkblogging.

Also see: Blog habits and the need for speed.