The 100 Days PrimeTime LoveFest

The slobbering apologists of the White House press corps will pitch underhanded softballs at Obama’s Teleprompter tonight.

I don’t know that I can bear to watch, but fortunately, Steve Green of VodkaPundit is already three martinis into his drunkblogging. (Don’t try this at home, kids: This man is a professional alcoholic.)

UPDATE: On Twitter, Mike Laroche says he’d rather watch Michael Moore eat bacon off Janeane Garofalo’s breasts.

I just switched on the TV and am amazed by the Mexican swine flu obsession of the Washington press corps. As I explained to David Brooks yesterday, it’s very easy to avoid Mexican swine flu:

1. Avoid swine.
2. Avoid Mexicans.

Of course, for the DC press corps, being around a lot of swine is an occupational reality.

Congratulations, William Jacobson!

To be called a “blowhard” by Alan Colmes is a high honor indeed!

Thomas J. Marier is badly confused and writing for David Frum, but I repeat myself

He’s also a friend of mine, which is why he asked me to denounce his latest article at The New Majority. I’d be happy to demolish his argument, except that it’s such incoherent jibberish that it’s impossible to understand exactly what he’s trying to say. Perhaps readers will click over there and leave rude comments for Marier, just so he’s grateful for the Rule 4 punk-smacking he so richly deserves.

$500,000 transsexual bailout

“Discrimination“:

A federal judge has awarded a former Army Special Forces commander nearly $500,000 because she was rejected from a job at the Library of Congress while transitioning from a man to a woman.
Diane Schroer of Alexandria, Va., applied for the terrorism analyst job while she was still a man named David Schroer. He was offered the job, but the offer was pulled after he told a library official that he was having surgery to change his gender.
U.S. District Judge James Robinson ruled Tuesday that Schroer was entitled to $491,190 in back pay and damages because of sex discrimination.

You could also view this as a violation of the Americans With Disabilities Act, since Shroer is an amputee.

UPDATE: In an unrelated but equally weird development, People magazine has named Timothy Geithner and Rahm Emanuel to its “100 Most Beautiful People” list. Helen Thomas has demanded a recount.

You are not surprised . . .

. . . to learn that Hillary Clinton rented out her e-mail list of supporters for $4.5 million?

I signed up for her e-mails, in order to keep track of her campaign last year. Perhaps that explains all the spam scam soliciations filling up my inbox.

For the record, spammers: I am not interested in meeting “HOT RUSSIAN BEAUTIES.”

Nor do I believe that you are actually a representative of the former oil minister of Nigeria.

And I don’t need “Special Herbal Supplements” to give me “Extra Staying Power,” no matter what my wife may have told you.

Confirmed: They’re fakies

UPDATED 9 p.m.: SHANNA MOAKLER IS A LIAR!

PREVIOUSLY: Perez Hilton: “In a very catty move. . . [Miss California USA pageant directors Keith] Lewis and [Shanna] Moakler confirmed to Access Hollywood that the Miss California pageant paid for Carrie Prejean to get breast implants six weeks before the Miss USA competition.”

UPDATE 2 PM: Keith Lewis is DENYING that either he or Moakler told Access Hollywood any such thing. However, Lewis did not deny that Carrie’s got fake boobs. Don’t worry: We are fearlessly committed to exposing the truth here.

You heard it here first, folks!

And we’re now the the No. 1 Google for “carrie+prejean+implants“!

UPDATE 2:30 p.m.: Via Twitter, ShannaMoakler also denies the Perez Hilton item. Folks, I’m trying hard to get to the truth. As I just said in an e-mail to Bob Barr, it’s not the crime, it’s the cover-up. What did Shanna Moakler know, and when did she know it?

UPDATE 5:40 p.m.: Ouch:

Did she buy them at Walmart? . . . Not a good look when you are competing in a national beauty pageant, but a great look for amateur night at your local strip club. Supposedly, the state committee for Miss California – USA bought them for her; my question is, Did they use a coupon?

UPDATE 6 p.m.: From the official bio:

[Prejean] an advocate for encouraging healthy lifestyles for young women. Carrie wants people to remember her as being compassionate and real.

Jezebel comments:

If it turns out that Miss California organizers bought her new breasts, they should be called on the carpet; and Prejean may need to rethink that last statement.

Stay tuned for further BreastGate updates as the investigation continues . . .

UPDATE: An anonymous commenter (whom for some reason I suspect to be either Troglopundit or Professor Donald Douglas) provides this link to a photo of pre-fakie Carrie.

In a related development, why is Perez Hilton involved in an organization that discriminates against transsexuals?

BTW, if Miss Prejean wishes to deny that she’s got implants, she should e-mail Smitty, who has been appointed chairman of the Fake Boob Investigative Commission.

UPDATE II: Alert the media!

FOR IMMEDIATE RELASE
BREAST IMPLANT PANDEMIC MUST BE EXPOSED
Internet Investigation Launched in Wake of Pageant Scandal
WASHINGTON, D.C. April 29 — Revelations that Miss California USA pageant sponsors paid for Carrie Prejean’s breast augmentation procedure have prompted a group of Internet activists to organize an investigation of the prevalence of silicone implants in the pageant industry.
“This is an aesthetic disgrace and an unpatriotic insult to the fine tradition of American breasts,” said blogger Robert Stacy McCain, a leading online advocate of traditional values who helped launch the Fake Boob Investigative Commission. “These pageant officials are displaying a widespread and harmful prejudice against small breasts that damages the self-esteem of millions of women in this country. Their claim to value ‘diversity’ is clearly false, so long as they effectively banish healthy American A-cups from their competitions.”
Vowing to combat the misleading use of “fakies” in the pageant industry, the Internet activists announced a slogan for their campaign: “REAL PRIDE: EXPOSE THE FAKES!” The activists urge that pageant contestants with natural breasts publicly declare their unenhanced status, and “name names” of contestants whom they know to have had deceptive implant surgery.
“This isn’t just about small-breasted women,” McCain said. “Naturally large-breasted women are also being cheated by being forced into competition with these artificially enhanced frauds. It’s the equivalent of illegal steroid use in sports.”
McCain said that at least one former member of Congress has expressed interest in the issue, and that the Fake Boob Commission is seeking legal advice on whether the use of breast implants in pageants violates state or federal laws, including civil rights statutes.

Legal advisers say a class-action lawsuit is possible, if we could find enough beauty pageant contestants with real breasts who feel they have been victimized by discrimination.

UPDATE III: We have a theme song, “Miss California,” by Jack’s Mannequin:

UPDATE IV: Another shocking revelation: WATER IS WET!

Conservative possibility?

“There have always been many men . . . who sit around Washington observing and commenting on trends, and then there have been those rare men who make trends happen. . . . Whether or not a conservative resurgence is likely, it can only be accomplished by those who begin with the assumption that it is possible, and then work tirelessly to turn possibility into reality.”

Caption Contest

Via Politico, where Michael Calderone has the background on this photo of New York Times columnist David Brooks and Obama political strategist David Axelrod:

Note to contestants: Entries suggesting extreme acts of violence or unnatural uses for Brooks’ “Columnist of the Year Award” will be disqualified. I can think up enough of those without your help.

All great rock music was recorded by the time John Bonham died

That is all the “rock music criticism” anyone under 40 needs to know. Anything recorded after Sept. 25, 1980, is therefore not great rock music.

As to this silly dispute over ’80s “hair bands” vs. ’90s “grunge,” it’s like debating which was the better painter, de Kooning or Pollock. Neither one had any talent, so who cares?

UPDATE: James Joyner weighs in, prompting his commenter Bernard Finel to say of my argument: “I think this is probably the single dumbest thing ever posted anywhere in the history of the internet.”

Don’t be too sure of that, Bernie. I’ve written more 3,900 posts here. Surely you could find something dumber. If not, there’s always tomorrow . . .

OMG, Douthat, too?

If David Brooks is Pinky, Ross Douthat is the Brain, but as to his New York Times debut, Matthew Saroff of TPM sums it up in a blog post title: “Ross Douthat Is a F***ing Moron.”

The money sentence in Douthat’s silly mess:

In the wake of two straight drubbings at the polls, much of the American right has comforted itself with the idea that conservatives lost the country primarily because the Bush-era Republican Party spent too much money on social programs. And John McCain’s defeat has been taken as the vindication of this premise.

First: Conservatives are not interested in “comfort.” Second, the simple lesson of the past two cycles is something that anyone who has been paying attention since Ross was in middle school would tell you: Lie down with Bushes, wake up with Democrats.

Douthat has never been a reporter. His life has been confined to academia and think-tank punditry in elite precincts: New Haven, Cambridge and Washington. He does not have any scope of experience to write about anything except the opinions of the elite, which are already easily available to anyone with access to NPR. Ergo, Douthat is redundant at best, and allowing him to write this kind of Big Picture analysis is to subject the reader to an arrogant, puerile know-it-all-ism.

Marc Ambinder (an actual reporter) shrugs his shoulders in resignation. Obviously, the thinking at 620 Eighth Avenue is: “If we’ve got to hire a ‘conservative’ columnist, make sure we hire one who’ll reaffirm our readers’ belief that conservatives are clueless idiots.”

Kathy Shaidle e-mailed me this column with a two-word subject line, “Lent’s over.” Thank God for small blessings.